I want to make myself bleed, iin?
I have this urge from time to time which is becoming less controllable where I suddenly crave the site of my own blood. It's not that I want to feel pain or even particularly harm myself, I just want to see a size-able amount of my blood and sort of play with it in my hands and rub it up my arms. I know this sounds absolutely insane and I would never admit it to the people in my life because they might think I'm dangerous but it's only my blood that I wanna see and touch. Is this even relevantly normal? How do I satisfy this urge without hurting myself?