I want to love someone else

80% Normal
7 Comments

I've been with my husband 8 years,and we have 3 kids. He is verbally abusive to me and the kids and has been since I got with him. I married him because I thought it was the right thing to do and that he would change. Wrong, he has never changed, no matter how many times he's promised or half-assed tried. He yells and curses at us every single day for dumb things. Also, he cannot obtain or maintain a job because he can't read and he has a criminal record a mile long. On the contrary, he deeply loves me, has never cheated on me, and is completely devoted. The problem now is, I checked out emotionally long ago. I want this to be over, but he has no where to go, so I'm stuck with him. We have a room mate that has all the traits my husband lacks. He's calm, has never said a harsh word to me no matter how much i bitch at him, he's great with the kids and I think he likes me too. I'm developing feelings and a strong desire for him, although he's always respected my husband and never tried anything. Is it normal? What should I do?

Voting Results
80% Normal
Based on 15 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • KingTermite
    8 years ago

    Hopefully you'll get out of this abusive situation sooner rather than later and not get into it again, though people tend to fall into patterns and those can be hard to break.

    If you're staying for the sake of your abuser you should have more respect for yourself, that's a ridiculous reason to stay with someone. If you're staying for your kids, think of the lesson you're teaching them... being abusive is ok, staying with an abuser is the right thing to do.

    Even if you won't do it for yourself, you owe it to your children to give them a better life.

    The roommate thing is just peripheral to the real problem. It seems to me there's something wrong with the roommate if they can just sit by and watch this happening, so if you're looking for a new person to lean on, I'd keep looking. There are plenty of "nice guys" out there, you hardly need that one.

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    • Itsnotnormal1
      8 years ago

      Blah blah blah I love to hear my self talk blah blah blah

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      • KingTermite
        8 years ago

        That's good to know, I'll keep that in mind if I ever find myself READING anything you write. It's rare to find someone so candid regarding their own shortcomings. Congrats.

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  • joker69676
    8 years ago

    youre most likely falling for the roommate because he is the nice one around when youre husband is being a "doosh bag" . thats common, to want the one who treats you well. and your husband.. verbally abusive.. cant find any sort of job. ANY? really? nothing? if i cant find a job i lower my standards and try again. especially if i had a family to support.. its normal that you want to be with someone else. and though he may be loyal, it still doesnt sound like hes treating you right. that doesnt really make up for it.. id rather be sinlge than treated badly.

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  • Sweetpe
    8 years ago

    Well whatever u do when u leave him don't stay around run for the hills but don't stay u have to be happy do what would be best for the kids

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  • CrimsonEye
    8 years ago

    You know your children would think you could not sink any lower, but you have.

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  • Itsnotnormal1
    8 years ago

    You are a woman, keep your legs open and your mouth shut.

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