I want to divorce my mother

When I was 25 I stopped talking to my mom. I did not answer when she called or communicate with her in any way. My life has been so wonderful without the drama, and it was not even hard to do. I did not even feel bad at all. And it was much healthier for my family. Just let her go.

Cut all ties with her. No one needs people like that in their lives even if she is your mother, u deserve better! Don't answer her calls and write her a letter explaining y u want nothing more to do with her. She may realise and appologise and try make it up to u but if not then it's her loss

I feel the same about my mother, my mom is very much like yours. So I cut her off, I havnt spoken to her in years and she has never met my son. And I'm stress free, no guilt, and no drama! But unlike you when my mom gets super old I'm not gonna spend a cent taking care of her.

I also had an abusive husband who womanised and abused me.I could not fly off to my parents' as my father would abuse me there non-stop,until my hands were shaking.I got divorced,but still feared my ex. Mom would come over once a year,and for the first time ever,we had some nice moments and I decided to forgive her as I was desperate for a mother,but that would be brief and she'd run away.When she was about to retire,she faught tooth and nail to keep on working,just to be a granny from the distance,over the phone.She told me to stop believing she'd ever look after my kids as she was "not that type". They'd send good money to the kids,which was helpful,but the she refused to get a loan for me to buy a studio flat in our country,something I could afford to pay off after renting it,as my dad had not allowed her to do similar when she was younger.I have been all alone in the world.She refused to go for a hip operation for 10 years and was virtually disabled of late,s she coudl never take my children out,help me,go out for a drink with me.While I struggled as a single mother,lost my job in recession,her brother was buying a series of properties,not having to pay her her inheritence that she later regretted giving to him.When I begged her to take anticoagulation drugs after the rutine operation,she refused and thrombosis paralised her.My flying there with my children got me in debt for a while and looking after her,a newborn,house,older children and being abused by my dad,neraly killed me.It took me a year to recover,I could not sleep,I cried at night...Carers look after them,mom cannot talk or even sit 18 months on,and I am abroad. I hear people there gossip about me not sacrifacing my children and life for my parents,but I hardly have any feelings for themI am desperate for a mother,an older woman,and have also thought about placing an ad for a mom,maybe an older woman who is desperate for a family that she does not have.

I think ur mom needs a reality check and therapy...only certain people could just let someone go and I know I never could just cuz I have a big heart not saying that the people who can do it are heartless just that they handle it different and I think if u could handle lettin her go u would have already done it...maybe try goin to church or takin her to church I know it sounds dumb but it just sounds like she has so much hate built up inside her that she needs to let it go cuz I used to be the same way and then I started praying and goin to church and now I don't feel the hate and the unhappiness anymore...

Yes, know the feeling. We just want a break from all the negative abuse, volatile behaviour and abusive words, selfish behaviour. My mother is an emotional vampire, a compulsive liar and devious. I tend to find out from other people what she has done, but not all the time. I have this constant cloud that I am expecting something bad, and it often does. Right now she has been the guardian of the family business and she has completely messed it up, through 'unwise decisions'. She plays manipulative games, and like others, complains about house and garden, even 'my wild birds, my clothes, well, anything really to hurt you. She picks boyfriends who are losers and sponge off her, well, when she had money. But the worse thing is that she is so abusive and unkind. She has some good points but I can't allow myself to be lied to and spoken to like dirt. In my other life, I have lots of praise, it is so odd that one own mother can be like an enemy. Like you, I just want a normal mother you can talk to freely and visit a coffee shop etc, without any abuse. If I could have the choice, I would divorce her and be free of her legally. I want a certificate saying I am divorced! I have had 4 weeks of no contact, though this has been upsetting, it actually feels better than with contact. She has only sent me one text, but she is not banging on my door asking to be in my life, and trying to make things up, interestingly. I am in my 40s and my mother is 70 and she should be nice to me, if she wants my help in old age and not be abusive and try to sponge off thousands from me and my brother. She has sold loads of houses and has nothing to show for it, and yet, she is in debt again and wants to sponge off her relatives, we are not cash points. When she did have money it made her feel important and boy didn't she try to make us feel bad.

There comes a time wnen you have to stand up and say no. Children do not have to put up with their behaviour and parents must realise, that we don't have to be there for them, even if we normally would want to . We have our own health to consider and need to set boundaries.

I really wish we had a divorce law to divorce parents in the UK.

She's still your mother.. well, it's up to you if you want to get rid of her.

OP, your Mom sounds extremely insecure. All of those are classic symptoms of insecurity and childishness.

I completely understand. I have almost the worst parents one can think of,both mentally ill,controlling,selfish,agressive,weird,and no siblings to share that with. Opposing doctors,they refused to take mijor medication after rutine operations and are now gravely ill,with carers looking after them,mom paralised at 59,would have been healthy had she listened to me and the doctors.She physically abused me,battered me till I was about 17,quite severely,I could often not be able to sleep with pain.She gave her inheritence to her brother when I was 16 despite me begging hyer not to,but he promised he'd pay her back one day,then said Fogert it!All my childhood,I was desperate for a sibling,even depressed,cried a lot,begged,yet she had a few very late abortions and later told me "I hated motherhood so much and would have killed myself had I had to have another child. I did not care how you felt,I cared about what was easier for me." My dad did not allow socialising,abused us mentally,she never protected me,or herself.She was his shadow and I was a voiceless object for both.When I had my children abroad,they'd send money as gifts,but my mother would not come to help,even when I needed her badly as "she is not motherly and could nots tand young children for long,though she loved mine".

Why are you still maintaining a relationship with her if you despise her so much? It sounds like you are somewhat dependant on her for some reason as well or you wouldve cut ties with her a long time ago. Just because she gave birth to you doesn't mean she was a mother.

You need to be concerned with how this is affecting your children. You seem like a decent person that is just trying to do the right thing but at what cost? You don't owe your mother any more than what you have already done...it's your children that need to be priority now.

is there any positive side from her..? because from what i read... u only talk bad about her. (but doesn't mean i support ur mother)i still think that your mother deserve to get all those punishment above.

I feel like if I totally wrote her off she would be devastated and someday maybe - homeless! Maybe even suicidal. She has absolutely nobody else and if I was to give it to her straight - why I cannot stand her - she would fall apart. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. She is getting sicker mentally as well as physically and I know her health is in serious decline - but if I end up taking care of her he'll be a serious bitch every single day.

Just let her go if that's what u want

Drop her. Not all parents are nice, and you shouldn't have to feel obligated to take care of her and succumb to her every whim just because she's a genetic contributor.

Just get rid of her.