I want to distance myself from someone i’m talking to but i don’t want to

13 Comments

I have been talking to this guy from another country for months online, we talk every single day for +-12h a day. I love talking to him we have an incredibly strong connection and can talk about almost anything. The only thing that troubles me is that I’m 18 and he’s 25 and from a different country. At this stage he talks about meeting someday or talks about a future. I do love talking to him but it scares me to think about the future, I’m scared of not meeting his expectations or my family/friends judging me for seeing an older guy (I know they will) I don’t want sex but I know he might want to, I’m scared of him having another side that I don’t know about. I’m too scared of this reality to think of having a future I just enjoy the now but I understand that the more we talk the more I lead him on to think I want to meet and become something serious, I’ve never had a boyfriend before so I don’t know if he’s ‘the one’ or anything, I honestly don’t think he is despite our incredible connection and dynamic. I know that I should distance myself as to not lead him on but I don’t want to stop talking to him. What should I do? Should I distance myself like I should to not lead him on?

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Comments ( 13 )
  • CDmale4fem
    4 years ago

    Listen to your female intuition. Depending on the country you could be setting yourself up to be sex trafficked. You might think "yeah right", but statistics don't lie. be smart and stick with guys you don't need a passport to see, and then your family won't be putting your face on back of a milk carton.

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    • NormalUsername69
      4 years ago

      He’s from Sweden haha nowhere too crazy, and trust me I’m an extremely cynical person, but he’s an honest guy, I don’t sense danger from him it’s just fear of not meeting expectations

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      • CDmale4fem
        4 years ago

        If you have pretty much both put your cards on the table, then there should be nothing to worry about.

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  • UselessTrash2
    4 years ago

    If you guys have a really strong connection with each other, I'd say give the meeting up a try in the future (do it in a safe location). Also sex isn't bad, don't think of it as that's all he wants you for, it's just natural that if you connect with someone really well and you find them attractive, to want to have sex. Not saying you have to say yes if he wants it, just keep an open mind about it. Also, fuck what everyone else thinks, as long as you're safe and happy with him. The future is scary to think about, but I've learned that eventually you just have to let go of those worries, as they mostly get you no where.
    P.s. if he's constantly talking about his ex most of the time, just block him. I learned that the hard way. Ik, I'm stupid.

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    • NormalUsername69
      4 years ago

      I’m kinda religious that’s why (for the sex thing). He doesn’t bring up his ex’s lmao in fact it’s more about how everyone has been short term shallow relationships and how it’s different with me and how if soulmates existed I’m the closest thing to it- which makes me fear disappointing even more

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  • NormalUsername69
    4 years ago

    We’re pretty opposed in political views, would you call that a future problem? I’m decently liberal not SJW but decently

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  • d0esnormalmatter
    4 years ago

    So you talk 12 hours a day? Who the hell has that kinda time? Don't you guys have jobs and or school? If hes pretty much your whole entire fucking life already then yeah you need to meet him lol. You don't talk that much and then 'don't think hes the one'!!!! Nobody talks even to their wife that much holy shit.

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    • NormalUsername69
      4 years ago

      I meant text when I say talk lol not necessarily phone calls or anything but yea I’ve never talked to anyone that long everyday that’s why I say we have a strong connection, and due to time zones and such jobs and sleep isn’t much a problem

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      • d0esnormalmatter
        4 years ago

        So text for 12 hours? I don't get it?!?!

        I don't think anyone should spend 80% of their time awake talking to someone they have never met.

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        • NormalUsername69
          4 years ago

          I know, trust me I used to feel that way too lol I never comprehended how someone could talk to someone so long, but that good ol cliche of “you wouldn’t understand until it happens to you” is rather true in this case

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          • d0esnormalmatter
            4 years ago

            Chief, most days I'm not even out of bed that long. I'm not surprised that you don't get bored, I just cannot get over how ridiculous it is for someone to have that much free time.

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            • NormalUsername69
              4 years ago

              That’s the thing! I don’t get bored! With anyone else i would. This isn’t a norm for me this is literally a special case. I wouldn’t process it if I were in your shoes either bc that was me before I started talking to him

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