I want to confide in best guy friend abt masturbation snafu i had as a girl

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I’m thinking of not making an awkward announcement about it. I just want to mention it naturally when a sexual topic comes up in conversation, but I’m not quite sure how I should bring it up.

The snafu I want to share:

When I was 13 I started using a vibrating massager in the bathroom while in earshot of my mom and her boyfriend. I would then come out of the bathroom with my face all flushed and say I liked using it on my neck. At the time I seriously thought they believed me.

As I got older, I realized that they probably got the idea of what was really going on, and I’ve felt endlessly embarrassed about the situation and

I feel like I really need to confide in someone. To get it off my chest, and my best guy friend is the only person in my life who I can imagine feeling comfortable telling.

Also, do you have any advice for how to mention this/bring this up?

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Based on 15 votes (13 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • S0UNDS_WEIRD
    3 years ago

    I don't know if this is going to make you feel better or worse but your mom probably bought the thing for the same reason and the majority of people masturbate, so if they knew it's not a big deal. It's highly unlikely that they didn't assume you masturbated one way or the other even if they never knew that's what you were doing with it specifically.

    I don't really have any advice for bringing it up besides waiting for a moment when it doesn't sound totally left field. Perhaps try to talk about when you first started getting interested in boys (or girls if that's your thing) and see if it can somehow steer toward masturbation.

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    • vudu06
      2 years ago

      okay so serious inquiries and advice only.

      i used my mother’s vibrator a few times and at the time i didn’t feel bad nor did it affect me . but one morning when i took a shower out of no where i start thinking about it .. and i start thinking about it in terms of “why would you do that?” “it’s disgusting” and now i feel bad and i want to tell my mom but i don’t know how ..

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      • S0UNDS_WEIRD
        2 years ago

        (In my last comment I meant "possibly" not "probably" in regards to your mom buying it, but I can't edit it now.)

        Dude, do not tell your mom. You were just a young girl experiencing new feelings who realized the thing felt good. It's not a crime. I absolutely guarantee you that heaps of women did things like this when they were young and learning, etc.

        You're not at all a freak, masturbation is okay, and in my mind you've done nothing wrong. Now say you as a grown woman did something like steal your mom's dildo, use it, and put it back, this would be weird and certainly wrong. That's not you. You were just a girl who realized something felt good and who feels embarassed about it now.

        While I see where another user is coming from, I don't think being a guy should exclude your friend from being the one you tell if it's who you were wanting to, because I know friendships can transcend gender. That said, I don't really understand why you want to tell _any_ friend. You're acting like you have a crime to confess to. You won't be confessing to anything; you'll just be telling him about you masturbating. I would advise against it, but it's also true he's probably just going to tell you the exact same thing I did and maybe that will mean more from someone you trust.

        Absolutely would not tell the mom though. That's just needlessly creating a profoundly awkward situation. She either doesn't know or didn't care. Parents notice all sorts of strange behavior when their kids first get interested in such things and all they want to do is, so long as their kids are safe, ignore it and let them have their privacy until they get more discreet. You've nothing to confess here. I suspect you have negative feelings about masturbation to this day.

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        • vudu06
          2 years ago

          i completely get your perspective on my situation and this is truly how i feel with exception of me being disgusted with masturbating.. i don’t have anything against masturbation it’s the fact i used someone else’s toy that makes me feel bad . not only was it someone else’s but it was my mother’s.. now the reaction i assume she’s gonna have is an immediate “wtf” moment but then try’s to talk to me. my mother is understanding and stresses that i shouldn’t hide anything from her and i can talk to her about anything. we’ve had a sex discussion before and i wasn’t uncomfortable at all. i was actually comfortable because it’s like this is my mom and she’s allowing me to express my self as far as this topic( yes i am a virgin). my point is talking to her won’t be easy or hard but me hiding it is making me feel way more worse than i would if i just told her the truth ..

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          • S0UNDS_WEIRD
            2 years ago

            Okay so we've apparently established the assumption that this was indeed her "toy" and not really just a fancy massager (although that's a valid thing and I use one myself for actual massage purposes).

            The next question is this: Did you know that's what it was when you used it? I've kind of been envisioning your former self as a girl who had no idea what she was doing, stumbled across the feeling, and couldn't resist experimenting. If you knew exactly what it was and what you were doing I can see how you might feel a bit rude about this now that you're older. I can see wanting to get it off your chest, but I still highly doubt she is going to be upset with her little girl experimenting.

            If you have that sort of communicative relationship with your mother, that's great. If this is going to eat you alive then I suppose just tell her in that case and get it over with, but do understand it's likely unnecessary and something you can just forgive yourself for.

            I don't think she's going to be have a "WTF" moment at all. Kids do all sorts of weird things. You're not a bad person for this. The fact that you're _so_ concerned only further proves that.

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            • vudu06
              2 years ago

              thank you for taking the time out of your day to help me understand this it was very much needed and i appreciate it❤️.

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  • ellnell
    3 years ago

    I would absolutely not talk to a guy friend about such a thing.

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  • John671671
    2 years ago

    Go ahead and tell him. He’ll like the story and may get turned on. All your “guy friends “ wanna fuck you anyway. I imagine you know that?

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  • vudu06
    2 years ago

    to the creator of this post i apologize for dragging my issue in hope for a resolution over yours i shouldn’t have done that.

    but i have a question .. are you feeling guilty ? or do you just feel you need to tell someone? because there is a big difference but it’s also the exact same.

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