I want to commit suicide

5 Comments

I don't know if this is a poem or song but I just wrote this from heart .
I feel people think all I need is attention .
All I need is love. I know we're all imperfect.

People say I'm so shy
This is who I am
Why can't you just be a friend
You say my teeth is rotten and my breathe smells bad just because I don't talk that much
Everyday you go outside of the window at my class
I don't brush my teeth, I'm stupid and I m too tall
You guys thought I didn't know ur language at all
I do understand u all
It's so painful knowing u would say such things to people
Who doesn't understand you at all
You made me wonder should I trust u at all
Mabye not
If I didn't speak ur language u wouldn't treat me the same
U got all surprised and u didnt know I played along
Now who's quiet and shy?
You talk about me all the time
Now ur interviewing me because I'm new in this school
And someone just goes up to me and slaps my face for nothing.
So embarrassing I got slapped in a crowd
I couldn't help but cry with all the pressure around
Isn't school supposed to be fun?
You scratch me all over my arms I try to protect myself
Your nails were too long
I'm sitting in class listening to the teacher
Two kids at my back just writing on my back
Pulling my hair slightly and making me angry
Laughing at me
I almost punch u but the teacher caught me
So I end up being the bad person instead
I will rape you what kind of joke is that
You called that joke
Jokes aren't scary there supposed to be funny
You always tell me im crazy
You think that was so funny
I'm a innocent girl like everyone else
You keep punching me
Shout in my ear and kicked me
I m doing nothing I'm just sitting down and having some peace
You think I'm scared of u all
I just won't fight bck anymore I m the one to whom u blame
You told everyone my secret
And when I trip you laughed rather help me
I tried to be like you all
But you just push me away
And if something wrong goes on
It s my fault again

My teacher you would see things bad about me and never see anything good about me
You let my classmates know that you don't really like me
You were always mad at me
My writing is ugly, u like confident people, u don't like quite students, u like students that are out going
U put my grades at the bottom even though I'm supposed to be on the top
U try to hit my hand with your stick on my desk
U never considered me as a good student
My Classmates starts feeling bad for me
You make me cry when I go home from school
I would tell my parents they couldn't even talk to my teacher for me
Why do you treat me this way?
You think I'm a bored person I wish u knew me
You gossip around my back
And I feel like every eye is on me.
No one wanted to be my friend
Your childish
When I talk
Your voice is too small
Your like a baby
Why is that all you see?
You say my beauty is wasted because of the way I am
Teacher why do u tell my parents lies about me?
You stab me with a pencil near my eye
I was using the bathroom u watched me
I like a boy so much it ruined me
I end up doing everything just for him to like me
But he just ignored me and never said t anything to me
How hard are you ?
I was walking home you asked me a question and stopped me
And grabbed ,touched and didnt stop until I had to fight for myself
Badly.
You grabbed me again and asked me to take off my clothes
How harsh you are?
I ran away home in my room crying and miserably hiding
We had a ballroom dancing project no one chose me
I had no partner
People watching
Your the most beautiful girl in school and you don't have a partner
My own friend hurting me physically
I sleep at your house with fear
My big brother teasing me
You my little brother hurt me physically and only stopped when I had fear in me
You poured water all over the ground on my room
Trying hard to open the door to punch me
You stole some of my valuable things from me
And would always shout and say bad things to me
You stab me with a pencil on my legs and I always go stay in my room because you would always irritate me .
My parents we don't really get along especially my dad
I talk to you seriously you laughed at me
And think I'm funny
What's wrong?

I'm tired of just being me .
No one really knows me
You think you do
You don't
You don't
You made me felt like I was ur bestfriend leaved me .
Stop talking to me.
I made the effort to be your friend
It's not enough I guess
I want to make my parents happy
They always get mad at me
And always tell me to do better
It's not enough I guess
I try to be my friend's brother
Your too buzy with video games
It's not enough I guess
Nothing is enough
I feel like giving up
But there's few friends out there
Who loves me
And that makes me keep going
Even though I wish I was gone
They would support me .
They would
All is I need is a friend
Although I still feel left alone
And sad
My heart bursting my mind fighting against me.
I told you my story
Are you happy?
Mabye not ?
I'm just such failer
Yes I know I am a failer
I think I'm better off alone
But I just cant ignored it.
I feel unwanted
No one cares
I hurt your feelings but mine is more painful than yours
Because you didn't thought of it
It didn't hurt you
Only me
You you ,you ,you , you , you and you
All of you effected me

I'm horrible at playing your games
I loose the game and have no courage to get back up
If I do I have doubts in playing
I can't let your games effect me
It's just a game that's hard to play
There s always a loser and always a winner
If there's a tie
There always need to have it break
Stupid games
No rules
No instructions
No limits
When it's your turn you have too play
That's life
It's the hardest game to play .

It's killing me I want to die I thought of many stupid ways all I need to do is do it

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Comments ( 5 )
  • wohooo
    1 year ago

    just dont do it

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  • Ericharris
    6 years ago

    Ok

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  • gxdezlh
    6 years ago

    PLEASE call 911 ASAP

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  • SpongeBobSquareBants
    6 years ago

    Honestly, I didn't read the poem. It's too long for my short attention span, especially when I'm sitting at a computer and other stuff is available. (Possibly ADHD, possibly just an inattentive prick.)

    Regardless, if you are feeling suicidal, please contact someone for help. Disregard 'Pseodonihm'. Sadness is sadness, depression is depression, no matter who is experiencing it for whatever reason.
    The contradictions, perhaps that's just muddled thoughts or maybe it's just a bad expression of how you feel, it doesn't matter. When something bothers you, try writing a list of ways it could be resolved, create a tree diagram of what could happen after and what could be solved and not. Eventually, you will find the best solution to your problems.

    E.g. The teacher watching you use the bathroom, tell another teacher so that they can have them fired. (Took that from 'Pseodonihm's post so I don't know the accuracy or whatever but it's that kind of thing.)

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  • Pseodonihm
    6 years ago

    I'm sorry if this is a true cry for help. If it is don't come to this site for any help. You're only opening yourself up to trolls.

    And I also have to excuse myself for what I'm about to say. This site has kinda jaded me.

    In your poem/song you contradict yourself numerous times. First off what do you care what these "people" say. And if someone slaps you you should slap them back. The only reason people pick on "shy" people is because they think you will never fight back. If you do fight they will leave you alone. And if they threaten you again walk away, drop some cleaver retort that they will have to take most of the day to figure out. If they stop you stand your ground. And if they hit you again you hit back harder, and don't stop until either they can't fight or you can't fight. What is the worst that could happen you get suspended, you get them suspended, you get a couple of stitches? At least people won't be messing with you. And if someone tried to stab you in the eye with a pencil, you might want to try a little harder to explain that to an authority figure. And the whole sibling thing, That's what siblings do. And you aren't getting along with your parents. No one your age gets along with their parents. When I was twelve I almost shot my father because he was beating my brother. And if your teacher is watching you use the bathroom, well same thing with the pencil. And as for your writing skills if you want people to take you seriously, stop writing like you are texting. U, ur, are not words. Try using punctuation and proper sentence structure. By the sound of things there is at least one teacher who is trying to get you to apply yourself. Maybe as him/her for help.

    Again if this is a cry of help I'm sorry. But there is so much going on around the world, and you are sad because of some mean girls. Since the Dalia Lama has been in exile 147 Tibetans have set themselves on fire to protest China's policies. Women in the Islamic State are still denied basic human rights. Fathers are still beheading and burning their daughters. Tyrants in Africa are still murdering and raping at will, most of the time about the diamond trade. Whole foods is still buying shrimp, and clothing companies are still buying clothes from Thailand. Who is still using slave labor. It's just hard from me to feel compassion for people who feel their life in the western society is ruff.

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