I want to be a respected member of the chimp community

27% Normal
12 Comments

Not like that Jane Goodall chick. I want to live in a habitat at the zoo and become the alpha male and screw all the chimp women and have kids with them. I think I can do it because of my superior brain power. The males might beat me with brute strength but I would build weapons to defeat them. Will the zoo let me into the habitat?

Voting Results
27% Normal
Based on 26 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • _Crusades
    8 years ago

    So you want to join the BlackLivesMatter movement?

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    • Darktown
      8 years ago

      Damn you beat me to it. I was going to suggest moving to Baltimore or Ferguson, MO.

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    So, what you are really saying is that you feel incapable of living and socializing with your own kind and think you would do better living with a bunch of relatively unintelligent primates?
    Are you or were you, bullied a lot by humans?

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    • notaterrorist
      8 years ago

      you must be the perfect example of a human going by the way you spend all your time on this website telling people how to live their lives

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      • thegypsysailor
        8 years ago

        How is my post telling anyone anything? It had two queries in it.
        Reading comprehension just isn't your thing, is it? That was also a query in case you missed it.

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  • peterrabbyt4
    7 years ago

    wouldn't even go near them.

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  • sega31098
    8 years ago

    inb4 racist....oh wait

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  • RoseIsabella
    8 years ago

    Good luck with that shit! They'll probably rip you to shreds.

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    • NeofelisNebulosa
      8 years ago

      A chimp is 6 times stronger than a human of comparable weight! So yeah, they'll probably tear off his limbs and eat them.

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      • RoseIsabella
        8 years ago

        ...and his weiner too.

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  • Forestheart
    8 years ago

    Don't let anything stop you. That is where you originally belong after all.

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  • flyingnostalgia
    8 years ago

    Your unparalleled perversion is a calamity.

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