I want to...but is it normal or even okay?

10 Comments

My mother and I live together. I am 18, my mother is 38. I love my mom and everything but....I am kind of ready to branch out and get on with my life. Here is the problem. My boyfriend wants me to move in with him at the end of my semester. Problem is, he lives in a different state. That's a lot of work for me to pack up and just leave my life. My dad lives in a state close by his and told me that if things get bad, I could live with him.
But really, I'd like to be an adult and start making my own money and not mooch off of other people. My mother thinks I should join the coast guard and I agree with her. I jut don't want to be doing it under her roof and her eye. I want to be 100% sure that that is what I want to do and not just because she is saying it.
I really don't know what to do and I am confused. A therapist of mine said leaving my mother is hard since it's "home" to me and that it's like being in the nest and learning to fly. I am scared that she will also hate my if I decide to up and leave without telling her....
I don't know what else to do.Please help?

Join the coast guard, then do what you want. 10
It's your decision. 25
Maybe your mother is just scared. 9
No, your too young to know what is right. 4
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Comments ( 10 )
  • Ldizzy1234
    11 years ago

    Do what you want to do. I aso wanted to join the coast guard at one time, but my mother 'didn't' want me to.

    You're getting older now, you can give your mom prior notice as to when you plan on leaving. But she should already be expecting that one day you have to, and will leave.

    It might be hard for you to move at first, but pushing yourself out there might be the best thing for you. Once you do it..., thats one mountain you've climbed over, and one step closer to the future that you want to create. I don't know your mother, but I doubt she'll hate you for this. Best wishes!

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Thanks! Funny, it's what my boyfriend told me too. We've been together for a while....I'd really like to move in with him and plus...I'm unhappy living with my mom.

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  • mystery7
    8 years ago

    You're an adult now. Why don't you sit down and have an adult conversation with your mom about it?

    It doesn't have to be a drama, just 2 adults having a conversation.

    So, talk to her about it and if that's what you really want to do – join the coast guard. Develop a plan to move out. It might be that you do that 6 months from now or some other timeframe.

    Your mother will realise one day you're going to leave anyway, just a matter of when.

    p.s. I'm glad this wasn't one of those posts about someone wanting to have sex with their mom

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  • grenade
    11 years ago

    I hope whatever your deicision will be, will bring you happiness. And hope to your mum also.

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  • 1000yrVampireKing
    11 years ago

    If you want to move and have the ability and resources do it. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a lover to move in with either. If you want to leave and you are 18 well do it. IF it is possible good for you!

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  • michaels4p5
    11 years ago

    it sounds like you joining the coast guard is what she wants to see you do to make her happy.

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  • kingofcarrotflowers
    11 years ago

    You and your therapist would know far more about you, the situation and what would suit you most than I can gather from the few paragraphs written here. I hope you work something out :)

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  • squeallikeasacofpigs
    11 years ago

    Therapist....uh oh.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      What's that supposed to mean? It's free and I like talking to someone.

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  • Short4Words
    11 years ago

    If you are going to leave you have to tell her. You have to. I am in really similar stage in my life right now and I'm sick of guilting myself into sticking around. I know right now it's nice to have a home and a place to stay but after a certain point you just gotta spread your wings and take flight, I think being here and unhappy well only make our relationship worse anyways.

    I hope you make the decision that's best for you :)

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