I want some special consideration from my bf, is it normal?

18% Normal
9 Comments

I belong to a very conservative family, but being alone in overseas i met a guy online and we became good friends.As I was not happy in the place where i was staying and this guy had a room vacant, i came to his place. He was really nice to me and I started getting attracted to him so does he. he offered to a live-in relation. I didnot agree but eventually he earned all my trust as i used to visit his place and stay a night or so. Gradually after nearly 3 months he told me he's not interested in getting married,, i reacted bad as we met on matrimonial site , and we looking for life partners. I asked him then what was he doing there, he said just for time pass. At first i felt bad and everytime he used calm me down and used to change the topic saying that eventually he will but right now i dont want to. Then i made up my mind and asked him that its fine if u dont want to I'll leave and be friends if u wish or may be i'll visit u weekends. Again he didnot agree and always used to stop me in a way or other giving these lolly-pops that he had bad experiences in relationships and have seen lots of divorces and stuff , so he's very upset and I should help me and understand. He used to say he likes me a lot and will think of marriage eventually that time i was studying. Now its been 2 years or even more but he's been changed a lot he shows me soem care when he wishes. he swears me and have fun just like that. I told him I dont like but doesnt care about it. He's always more into his friends. Any plans which we make earlier , its his mood , he can deny anytime and doesnt really care if i cry or not.If i'm crying doesnt bother. he's just happy in his own world. he just needs me when he wants to eat something. or its his mood to love me.
Now i'm feeling confused do i love him or not? sometimes I feel so bad when he swears uselessly for fun sake which I dont like and it makes me so frustrated as a result even I started swearing.My mum knows nothing about it. I'm scared if my mum knows she'll be shattered like anything.
I really dont know should i stay with him or not. when I think of the bigger picture, then i feel scared. he's not really responsible,i feel i cant rely on him, then whats the use of staying with him. But whenever i think of leaving there's something that stops me. I cant sleep without him, i'm so addicted to him. I really feel i should get out of it but i cant. I cry like hell and have got migraine and put lot of weight too.
seriously, i feel like I'm getting mad day by day.We fight a lot but get together again in a way or so. Now he says he'll marry me as soon as i get a good job as he's not earning well right now and i'm studying as well. I cant really think if he's right for me, earlier i was pretty confident but now-a-days he'll becoming like nuts just doing what he wants not bothering about most of the times.Sometimes I feel I wanna go somewhere where nobody will know about my relation.
I'm happy when he cares about me but when he doesnt i dont like it though i care about him doesnt matter he fights or not.I cant see him sad.I ask him if he doesnt wanna be with me then tell me and i'll leave but then he never says that. Sometimes he's an angel but its like 50-50 50% he's good and 50% he upset and mean to me. So i dont know, i feel trapped in a hell sometimes where i cant ask my family or friends to help me as they dont know anything about it.

Voting Results
18% Normal
Based on 33 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • jucedaguy
    11 years ago

    He is a pig. Get out and leave him. Nobody deserves a life of misery at the hands of another. It seems like he is just playing games with your heart.

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  • LaGolfa
    11 years ago

    Her question was "IIN that I want some special consideration from my Bf?" And the majority of you said that it was not.

    What's wrong with you people?

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  • 800imawesome
    11 years ago

    Tl;dr

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    He's either the devil or mentally ill.

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  • o_0
    11 years ago

    i think he is just using you... may be he loves you but he doesnt know how to take a relation forward its not only love we need in a relation but many other things.... agreeing with NeuroNeptunian i also think you have gone quite obsessive and over emotional that makes you notice and take even a small thing on heart...
    just be pessimistic and hope for the better but you dont also need to be with him ... you can leave him and go further in your own life do something profiting and better for your self... take care spend time with family that way you will realize your own importance and visit him very less that way your addiction to him will decrease and you will not totally shatter if he cheats on you and leaves you....thats not all where a life ends you will have to keep moving so why not start from now... and become tension free happy , and lovely... ;)

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    11 years ago

    This is actually normal.
    Many women don't know how a relationship should work out and they allow themselves to get tangled up in emotionally turbulent relationships. He sounds as if he is unstable and you sound as if you're too attached to him and the hope of gaining his approval to think clearly about this, your emotions are not permitting you to think.

    He is not ready for a relationship and nothing you can do will change that. He obviously doesn't take relationships seriously and it seems like he really doesn't even know what he wants. He doesn't take your feelings seriously and I can guess that part of it is because you're so overly emotional, when you act out constantly it becomes easy to accept. Part of it is your problem for allowing yourself to let your emotions overwhlem you constantly.

    You're not going to change him, and you need to change yourself because you don't seem to be ready for a relationship either, as you obviously lack the ability to keep a cool head and not lose yourself every time you get upset. Quit your romantic relations with him and find another area of your life that could benefit from your attention. It's really the only way out of this.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    So your relationship with him is all about him and what he wants? What about your needs and desires? Where do you fit into this relationship?
    He may love you but he is acting very self-absorbed. You need to tell him exactly how you feel and be prepared to end it (for good) if he is unable to make any compromises to make it work for BOTH of you.

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  • Dad
    11 years ago

    How can you love someone who is utterly selfish.
    He can't love you in return until he's able to give himself to you.
    I could just see you both on a sinking ship (titanic movie comes to mind) Have fun drowning, he'll be fine :)

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  • lolla
    11 years ago

    That sounds really full on. I really would advise talking to a friend you can trust about it who's rational and can help you through it. He sounds a little emotionally and even mentally unstable and in my opinion if someone's like that they shouldn't be in a relationship. Try and talk to him about how you're feeling and if he can't handle that then I think try and work out some way to leave him. There's no point being with someone if they don't make you happy! You've just kind of got to ask yourself, do you really want to spend the rest of your life feeling like you are now? Anyway that's my advise :)

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