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I have been thinking about having one of the three women I sleep with to finger my butt hole. But I don't want any of them to think I'm gay. Is that a normal desire for a straight guy? Or would a female think I was some kind of undercover gay?
I think you'd find if you actually understood women that they are far less concerned with your sexual proclivities than you are. In other words, you're the homophobe in this situation, they may be as well, but it's far less likely. Why not initiate the situation by slipping in finger into their backdoors. If they're into it, I'm sure you'd be able to get reciprocation.
Or you could just find the right women for the job to begin with. I've had several women that I had to swat away from that area, as I have no interest in going down that road. So I can verify that they are already out there. They'll go after your nipples too... wait, does that make them closet lesbians? Maybe you should avoid them too.