I've found my soulmate.

I have met a man who I can talk to about anything, who will talk to me about my feelings and the things that bother me. He will share his feelings with me, too.

The problem is - he's not my husband. My husband has always been closed and standoffish. Feelings are not an option for him - he says they make you weak.

I have never met this other man in person, but I talk to him daily over the internet. I can't get him off of my mind - even to the point that I have dreams about him almost nightly. I think about what it would be like if I could be with him. I smile every time I talk to him, and when I've had a lousy day, he seems to pick me up and make me happy.

Is it normal to seek comfort in another man, if mine doesn't seem to be there for me emotionally when I need him?

Voting Results
69% Normal
Based on 68 votes (47 yes)
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Comments ( 17 )
  • mymunchkins

    Oh, also, Gizzie - I've sat with him and told him that we need to be more open and talk about our feelings and the things that bother us. He said, and I quote, "Not gonna happen. I'm not a pussy, I don't talk. Deal with it."

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    • "Not gonna happen. I'm not a pussy, I don't talk. Deal with it."

      tell him you want a divorce. see if he wants to talk then.

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      • tornwithin

        haha exactly my thought.

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  • mymunchkins

    Thanks for the comments guys. I definitely have my guard up for the simple fact that I haven't met him in person.

    I have worried about my marriage for a long time - my husband just flat doesn't communicate. Any time I try to talk to him about stuff, it ends up in an argument, regardless of the subject matter. And it seems that he is always right and I'm always wrong. He loses his temper so easily.

    Anyone have suggestions on how I might approach the conversation differently? Anything you can give me would help.

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  • The issue is your husband and marriage, not this online guy. Of course it is normal to look for or see what you are missing in marriage in other relationships. And while no one person i perfect & can do it all, if things are particular deficient emotionally, its time to do something about that - including marriage counseling.

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  • mattyxlove

    when you married your husband, you probably vowed that you would be with him in sickness and in health, til death do you part.

    i encourage you to try an work things out.

    let your husband know what you are feeling, try finding some girl friends to talk about things. sorry if that's "gender discrimination," but how do you think your husband would feel if he knew you would rather tell your feelings to another guy, over your own husband?

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  • seems he is working on your insecuritys,You dont seem to smart,watch out

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  • BirdyMojo

    People are totally different online, most of the time they say things they'd never say in person or they're completely fake... The "grass is greener on the other side" is applying to this, just because he seems sensitive and everything doesn't mean he's your 'soul mate.' You are a MARRIED woman, you shouldn't seek romance anywhere other than from your husband. I know you are having a rough time with him, but still, he is the man that you stated your vows to.. Your husband is real with you, this man could be totally different in person.

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  • twillight62

    O think it's nice to find a soulmate! But keep in perspective your husband is for real and the other guy is somebody whose there somewhere.....do u know where?

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  • Sammy3

    just remember why you fell in love with your husband.

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  • SUCKIT

    hes just trying to luer u into his van but instead of candy hes using this "internet" u speak of.

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  • i see by your profile that you are 28? do you have kids? if you don't then leave him. you can do much better than that. don't wait till you are older and have kids to take steps.

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  • i agree with cabinet.

    when you first meet men they love everything, they are so sensitive, they love what you love, they are your SOULMATES.

    don't trust that illusion.

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  • Just cause you cantalk online doesnt mean anything hes probably just agreeing with what you say to be popular with you.

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  • I think it is just fine to have an online friend that you can discuss things with and Im glad that he lifts your spirits at times, but he is not your husband the one you said you're vows to. I think if you feel you are unable to talk about your problems with your husband then your relationship is in great danger of failing because I believe communication is the most important thing in a relationship. If you still love your husband you should have a heart felt talk with him and explain that you require more in your relationship when it comes each others feeling.

    I am a male and I believe if you are honest about this with him, and he loves you, he will change his thoughts on this and open up and you two will have a happy marriage. If this cannot be accomplished, I think you just as well get a divorce because without good communication, there is no relationship in my opinion.

    Also beware you never know who you are talking to over the internet this so called "soul mate" could turn out to be a complete psychopath.

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  • Morphie

    Marriage is UN-NEEDED by not marrying you can have sex with as many people you want to and have no feel of guilt.

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  • bighairFrank

    IT'S A TRAP!

    Be wary of friendly strangers on the internet.

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