I used an ornamental cactus as a butt plug

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10 Comments

I saw a small cactus with fuzzy spikes. Didn't feel sharp. For some reason I thought it would feel good to stick it up my ass because it seemed like the right size to use as a butt plug.

But idk, those "fuzzy" things didn't feel like I thought they would. It hurt like a motherfucker. My ass is incredibly sore, and I'm in a lot of pain. I honestly wasn't expecting this, but it literally feels like my ass is full of splinters.

What should I do? I have to say I really wasn't expecting this. I honestly thought the little fuzz on the cactus would feel nice, but it didn't. It hurt like hell, and it has been 2 days and still feels like there are all little splinters up my butt. And it hurts to sit down.

I'm really embarrassed to go to the doctor. Because I literally shoved a cactus up my ass. How the hell do I explain that? But like I said it was a fuzzy kind of one, not one with big thorns.

I honestly thought it might feel good, I mean seriously I can't imagine I'm the only person who has ever tried this. Like the thorns were so little it felt like fuzz. But when I stuck it up my ass it hurt like hell, even though I used a ton of lube. It honestly surprised me that it hurt like this, and now I have no idea what is going to happen to me. Because the little "fuzzy" spikes are stuck inside my butthole and it hurts like hell to walk or even sit down

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Based on 8 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • TheBlindInquisitor
    5 years ago

    You shoved a cactus up your butt and you wonder why it hurts real bad....

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      I really didn't know, it was kind of fuzzy, I thought it would feel good :( But it still hurts like a motherfucker honestly, I don't know if it's ever going to stop

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      • TheBlindInquisitor
        5 years ago

        It most likely won't stop unless you get some doctors to get in there and pluck them out.

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    And you injected ritalin into your penis as well.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      Yes, actually. How did you know?

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  • SKDM007
    5 years ago

    i bet the doctors resign as soon as you tell them about the pain

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  • sheetstothewind
    5 years ago

    That poor cactus.

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  • Ummitsstillme
    5 years ago

    The only cure is a tequila and agave nectar enema. Sometimes you've got to fight fire with fire.

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  • SwickDinging
    5 years ago

    Just tell the doctor the truth and get it sorted. There's no point in making up a story - they will know that you are lying because they will have seen this before. They aren't stupid. You would be astounded at the things people shove up their asses and vaginas. It's a common issue in the Emergency Dept.

    Just walk in and say "I shoved a cactus up my ass and the spines are still in there. Please help me doc". They will respect your honesty.

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  • buddyroowho
    5 years ago

    Wow, sounds like a pain
    in the ass, make sure you tell your boyfriend before he...... Well, you know

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