I untied my tubes for him and then......
So we were together for four years. I had my tubes tied several years prior as I had two children and my then husband and I were done. So anyway he asks me to untie them because he wanted a child of his own. He was very good to my children, our home was happy, we were engaged. So I did it. He was so happy! I got pregnant right away and we were over the moon. Then, when I'm five months pregnant he leaves me for his new receptionist ( who he'd known for three months ) I begged him to not do this to our family, he told me to get lost! My other children were 15 and 16, all of us were broken. I lost forty pounds through my pregnancy and was medicated because my crying would trigger labour. It's just a sad story all around. Well he's still with that bitch two years later. She told me to just get over it, she was left when she was pregnant so apparently it's no big deal! But I untied my tubes! It was planned, this wasn't the same. Anyway, he has access to the baby. But what I want to know, why does my heart still ache? I don't love him, I don't want him back, I just want the pain to stop. I've read everything I can get my hands on, talked to doctors..... You know the drill. I don't want medication. I know how lucky I am to have a beautiful healthy baby girl..... What I don't know, is how to make the heartache stop. How to understand how someone can be so evil? So, it's been two years, I don't think this should still hurt, but it does and I can't make it stop. I get through days, no one knows I'm in pain, I can't exhaust people with this anymore. I just don't understand. I don't want to hurt anymore but it won't stop. No one seems to understand, do you? Is it PTSD?
Thanks everyone.