I think that she loves me a lot, but hates me even more.
This woman keeps kissing me in my apartment and sleeping with me no matter how much i scream at her and hurt her feelings. She killed my cats by stomping on their backs and leaving them unable to move on the hot parking lot cement. That gives a glimpse of her thought process. Now we're never getting married or having children because of that. That gives her a glimpse of MY thought process.