I think it is a bad idea to trust others.

76% Normal
38 Comments

This topic has come up for me a few times this week.

I think it is a bad idea to trust others, because it is impossible to ever truly know their intentions or what they are up to. Obviously the only person I can know for certain is myself.

When people stupidly put themselves in situations where they were taken advantage of, it was also their fault for letting their guard down. I don't make exceptions for myself either and realize if I let my guard down and people lie and steal, it becomes my fault as well.

People seem to get offended by this and I don't understand why, because it only makes someone more suspicious if they get angry.

Voting Results
76% Normal
Based on 21 votes (16 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 38 )
  • surfboykj
    8 years ago

    I don't trust people who
    don't love themselves
    and tell me, 'I love
    you.' ... There is an
    African saying which
    is: Be careful when a
    naked person offers
    you a shirt.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    3
    3
      -
    • VinnyB
      8 years ago

      There is an old RuPaul saying that goes "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love someone else? Can I get an Amen? "

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      5
      5
        -
      • RoseIsabella
        8 years ago

        Amen, hallelujah!

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        1
        1
  • kingofcarrotflowers
    8 years ago

    I honestly don't know if I'm being overly cynical or just realistic when it comes to trust, I can never tell

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • [Old Memory]
      8 years ago

      It's realistic as long as you are not accusing people with no evidence. There really is no way to ever know someones true intentions. I am sure some have good intentions and some have bad. The problem is you can never be certain until you catch them doing something against you.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    I don't know if you are old enough to drive, but if you are, you must be a very, very bad driver.
    Exactly how could you possibly drive a car if you don't trust the other drivers to do what they are supposed to do. Speeding down the freeway at 70mph with only a few inches between cars, one absolutely MUST trust that the other drivers will do what the are supposed to do. Do you stop on a green light to insure the other drivers are going to stop on their red, or do you trust that they will?
    If you ride the buss, do you not trust that the driver will do his job and get you there safely?
    Are you so afraid and mistrusting of the police that you won't go outside your house?
    You must also trust that those cooking for you, or supplying your food and water aren't poisoning it at this very moment.
    One MUST trust others in this life, or you must isolate yourself so far from life, you might as well not be alive at all.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • [Old Memory]
      8 years ago

      I get your point, but I do take chances with things even though I may not know what will happen. I just pay attention to myself and go about things as if I were in a simulation.
      As for my driving skills there are many people who will not get into my car. I never thought about it having to do it with trust. I just figured my attention span sucks.
      I realize I could die any day but I don't let that stop me from doing what I want because I realize it is possible even my house could collapse and crush me at any minute and there is no way out so it is best to take chances.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • [Old Memory]
        8 years ago

        For the bus comment, yes the bus driver has missed my stop after I requested it.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • [Old Memory]
          8 years ago

          One of these days I think about assaulting the bus driver.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
  • charli.m
    8 years ago

    This just isn't the way most people's minds work. Thats part of why they get offended. You're basically assuming theyre a shitty person.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • [Old Memory]
      8 years ago

      I'm not assuming anything at all. I would be assuming something if I thought they were trustworthy.

      I don't necessarily think everyone will lie, cheat and steal, but I realize some might. I don't know and nobody does so it's not anything personal. I just have no way to know for certain.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • charli.m
        8 years ago

        What I mean is that is what it seems like to others. I get that you don't mean it that way. I'm trying to explain that this is how you will come across to the average person.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • [Old Memory]
          8 years ago

          Ive been noticing there are many things that bother me that nobody understands and does not respect and are offended by, yet they expect me to live by their rules.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
            -
          • charli.m
            8 years ago

            I understand that, but society conforms to the majority.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
            0
            0
              -
            • [Old Memory]
              8 years ago

              Sometimes I wish I had my own island.
              How much are they selling Australia for?

              Comment Hidden ( show )
              0
              0
      • VinnyB
        8 years ago

        You are going to live a hard and disappointing life if you spend it looking for certainties. You don't have to give everyone you meet you Social Security Number in the first 5 min of meeting them, but trusting your instincts which you develop over time and using some basic common sense will go a long way.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • [Old Memory]
          8 years ago

          I don't let it get in my way of everything and I still interact with people and do activities.
          I just don't know what someone might do.
          For example I may have a room mate who steals so it is best to not let my guard down even if they say they are not stealing.
          Another example is someone invites me to a party and I go and there is no actual party, so it is best to be prepared for arriving only to have to leave.
          Or someone could tell me they are going to hang out tomorrow but then ignore me, so it is good to have a backup plan.
          Or someone may ask me to sign something but the fine print has policies that will take me to court so it is best to be suspicious of paperwork.

          The possibilities are endless, but those are reasons to never be sure of someones intentions.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
            -
          • [Old Memory]
            8 years ago

            I also don't like sleeping around others because they could do something like pour hot sauce in my eyes or try to put rocks in my ears.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
            0
            0
              -
            • [Old Memory]
              8 years ago

              Considering I have a friend who I recently found out had chopped up his dad with an ax while he was asleep I realize how realistic it truly is.

              Comment Hidden ( show )
              0
              0
          • [Old Memory]
            8 years ago

            Not trusting anyone prevents disappointment too.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
            0
            0
  • ThePuppeteer
    8 years ago

    I agree with you. I'm the same, I believe that if you trust people, in the end, they will just turn on you. The one time I told someone that I do not trust anyone, they overreacted and called me a bad person. Is it really that bad not to trust anyone?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • TrustMeImLying
    8 years ago

    I'm just as cynical as you. Only difference is that I might be an extremist who trusts people with very little to begin with, and rarely ever a lot. And it's not that I had any bad or tragic experiences, nothing like that. But instead growing up I witnessed way too much deception among people. And well, in myself too.

    Combine this with the fact that I'm inherently reserved and I don't have that normal urge to trust people. (Or maybe the urge is too well suppressed idk) So instead I made myself the most trustworthy person out there, with no hidden desire for reciprocation. And that trustworthiness couldn't be swayed nor corrupted by anything either. And you know what's weird? Somehow doing that I discovered that the two of the few I did this for, became very trustworthy themselves. Those two are now my closest friends ever. (Yet I still don't share as much as they'd like me to. Ha.)

    Of course this won't work with every person, but that's where good judgment comes in. Bottom line, allowing people to trust you unconditionally can sometimes help you gauge how trustworthy they are. And it's a safe way of doing so. Unconventional perspective, I know, but perhaps it helps you in some way.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • [Old Memory]
    8 years ago

    Just going through life not trusting anyone because of the potential that they may take advantage of you is a tough life to live. The best thing to do is give them the benefit of the doubt and let them show you who they are, than you can make an informed decision about what kind of person they are.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Aries
    8 years ago

    I don't really trust people much either but I suppose I do some to a certain degree . I couldn't say that all people put themselves in a bad scenario , some of them might not be taken advantage of for trusting someone but simply because the other person had the advantage in said scenario . I think bad people with bad intentions will fit in anywhere they can to abuse others without always necessarily needing someone's trust to do so . Now if some girl finds a rape kit hanging around the boyfriends room or strange behaviour to back up the suspicion .. then yeah , possibly their trust in the person they think they know may have lead them to be subject to a bad situation when they probably should have really studied this person secretly or just moved on immediately .

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • JD777
    8 years ago

    I can understand, although I think you might be happier in the long run if you focus more on the positive, than negative. I tend to trust first and have been burned. So, I have learned to be a bit more cautious.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • [Old Memory]
      8 years ago

      I think I do positive things too. I tell jokes and write comedy songs. I like my cats and my music equipment. I do many creative things and even wear costumes to events and try to make people laugh. I get how the law of attraction works and I often wonder why people claim to preceive I am complaining when I am simply observing things that I would think happen to everyone. I am a philosopher and try to be positive while aknowledging the negative, because ignoring things doesnt make them go away.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • howaminotmyself
    8 years ago

    Your life makes me sad. You spend a lot of energy focusing on all the bad things that might happen that you draw them towards you. Good things happen all the time but I don't think you would notice through all your fussing.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • JD777
      8 years ago

      This. It's the Law of Attraction. Think of the bad and you will attract the bad.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
    • [Old Memory]
      8 years ago

      I am not sure how to take this.
      I do try to focus on good things but bad things are inevitable as well and we need to be prepared for them.
      I don't think I am as fussy in real life and I come here to talk about my life problems, but if I am, I do not realize it.

      Much of my outlook on things comes from experiences. My life has had good and bad moments and I know people who have lived horrible lives that nobody would deserve.
      I probably do associate with an unusual crowd, many who have unfortunate circumstances. It's what I know and I am fine with that because even if I cannot know what someones true thoughts are I can still accept those who accept me as well.

      Maybe there are people who have been fortunate to not be lied to but it has been so recurrent to me I don't even know any other way to deal with it. It's been how things are my whole life.

      Someday I will write a biography. It's had many sad and happy moments but most of all my life has been extremely strange and I don't think it's going to get any more normal. If I had a choice I would do it all again though just to relive the best moments.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • howaminotmyself
        8 years ago

        I don't doubt that your life has had more than its fair share of bad situations. But you can't expect everyone to have the same experiences. They are your life lessons. From my perspective, you have been burned by people who you should have been able to trust. When you lost that, you lost the ability to open up to anyone. This colors your currwnt interactions and you are guarded. Fair enough. And for some reason you discuss it as if you are the authority on interpersonal relationships.

        My point is that you have made everyone ugly without learning anything about them. I find it off putting because it is not even close to my world experience. I get that it is important to be prepared for difficult times, but don't go overpreparing yourself. You miss out on a lot of good that way.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
  • [Old Memory]
    8 years ago

    The only authority I listen to is my cats, ox and dragon.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • RoseIsabella
      8 years ago

      I only have one cat, but I trust him implicitly.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0