I think i might be heartless?

25% Normal
1 Comment

All my life, I've never felt remorse, or compassion for others. I'm a nice person, but from the hate that has been directed at me for years, I've become a mirror. I'm mean to the people that are mean to me, which has caused me to stop feeling others pain. Let me explain.

After contemplating suicide for years and despite my deciding against it, I still often find myself wanting to die, just not knowing how. I also sometimes wish other "death-related" things, none of which I would actually put into action, such as: if somebody in my immediate family died, other than my mom, I wouldn't miss them. That's the 100% truth.

I'm always hoping for the worst, like getting in a car accident.

My most morbid and mostly shocking wish is that somebody would bring a gun to my school. I realize that would be terrible to most people, but I think it would be fun. It would add excitment to my otherwise boring life.

I know these thoughts aren't normal, I just wanted your thoughts.

Voting Results
25% Normal
Based on 4 votes (1 yes)
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Comments ( 1 )
  • Dulse.
    11 years ago

    Does it bother you that you might be heartless?

    Sounds like you've had it rough with other people over the years. It can be hard to care if you're hurting inside. I think it's normal.

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