I think i'm some kind of weird masochist

89% Normal

All of my kinks/fetishes seem to revolve around a theme of being treated like a toy or less than human: bondage, tickling, being spoken to like a dog, being used as a footstool, getting dominated by someone younger than me, but the turn-on that worries me the most is the thought of getting sexually assaulted: being forced to climax over and over until my brain turns to mush.

I don't know why I'm into any of this, and whenever my thoughts aren't clouded over by lust, I feel incredibly gross and guilty. Am I a bad person? I know this isn't normal, but is it still weird by masochist standards?

If it matters, I haven't experimented with any of it in real life, I'm terrified of people I know finding out I have these thoughts.

Voting Results

89% Normal

Based on 35 votes (31 yes)

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Comments ( 26 )

zarabell

4 years ago

why not. I think you've just repressed your desires and fantasized about them so much that they seem strange. they're not strange, or rather, they can be a bit strange, but you don't really have to be controlled by them. that is the good thing about being human vessels, we can think of things without actually being those things 24/7.

if it really is a part of you, I hope you can find a healthy way to explore it. otherwise, simply accept it as a normal part of you, that does not have to define you

until it does...

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DDJenny

4 years ago

Totally normal. Rape fantasies, humiliation, degradation...are very common fantasies. Keep in mind though that in fantasy, you still have ultimate control. Real life is different. But if you find the right partner you can def explore some elements of those fantasies to see if the reality lives up to the fantasy. In my experience, it TOTALLY does!! Be safe, sane, and keep it consensual. Other than that, explore your fantasies!!

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Unknown_player

4 years ago

The way I see it you're not harming people and kinks are kinks life would be boring with out them. As a member of the bdsm community this seems completely normal to me but I can see how it seems strange from a vanilla stand point

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- Unknown_player
  
  4 years ago
  
  If you're wanting to experiment the best advice I can give is to blatantly ask if they're into BDsm. If they say no you can just play it off as you being curious and if yes, then you can work on from there over who has what power role
  
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palehorse

4 years ago

As a dom woman, I think it's pretty normal for subs. Try getting into the BDSM community and do some consensual roleplay. You might like it.

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BleedingPain

4 years ago

There is a kink called CnC. (consensual non consensual). All you have to do is find someone else who consents to the act of “rape”. Then you two (or more) have all the kinky fun.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  I had absolutely no idea that was a thing that existed, and I'm shocked. I spent a lot of time shaming myself thinking that I was an outlier even by fetishist standards. Knowing that everything I'm into is actually par for the course shows that the perception I've held for the past 8 years was genuinely unfounded.
  
  Thank you.
  
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  - BleedingPain
    
    4 years ago
    
    The world of kink is vast. If you think it’s weird or odd, chances are someone else out might get off from it as well.
    
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bigbudchonga

4 years ago

Looooads of women search for ultra violent/ rape porn, It's pretty normal.

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momwatcher69

4 years ago

I'm assuming you're a female?
Find a guy you trust, implicitly, and experiment. Start with rather tame, and mild "sextivities" and see if it's what really turns you on, or if it's the thrill of "thinking naughty" which excites you.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  That's solid advice, but I am actually a guy. That probably adds to my insecurity since, culturally speaking, women in a submissive role are more easily accepted while men are expected to be tough and take charge. Hope that didn't make this awkward.
  
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  - palehorse
    
    4 years ago
    
    I'm a dom woman, so I get that. If you're straight, know that we exist - and if you're not, more power to you. If you want to, there are healthy ways to explore your kinks - nothing to be ashamed of!
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      4 years ago
      
      Thank you for your encouragement, it makes me feel more at ease about all of this. I was fairly certain that there are people out there who could satisfy these desires, but I'm hesitant to look. I'd have to open up and reveal information about myself that would leave me in a vulnerable position. To be honest, I wouldn't have the courage to discuss it here if not for the anonymity. I will make more of an effort to study the lifestyle and try to feel less self-conscious about it. Again, thank you
      
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  - momwatcher69
    
    4 years ago
    
    Would be nice if people stated their age & gender, when asking for advice. Makes giving suggestions a little more realistic, and specific.
    
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    - palehorse
      
      4 years ago
      
      Unpopular opinion but I think it's interesting when the OP doesn't do this. It can be quite revealing.
      
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      - momwatcher69
        
        4 years ago
        
        If we know the age/gender of the O/P, it gives more information, for which to base our advice on. I believe the more info we have, the better our answers will be.
        
        I'm finding out, on here, that because there are many gay/lesbian people, in the 'audience' that I often have to ask what age/gender they are.
        
        I don't want to have to "assume" things, when giving advice.
        
        For example, this O/P is a guy. That's not obvious, when reading the post. And a lot of times, it doesn't matter...but, sometimes it makes me think in a different way, when giving advice. I prefer to be informed.
        
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      4 years ago
      
      I am sorry, this was my first post and I was not aware of the etiquette. I will be sure to include such pertinent information in the future. For the record, I am 24 years old, but I'm 5'4" so I don't really look my age.
      
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xxLucifer

4 years ago

You aren't a bad person. It's actually a pretty common thing to fantasize about being sexually assaulted, but just because you fantasize about it doesn't mean you would actually like it if it happened. The other stuff is fairly common in BDSM and isn't anything to worry about either.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  I know that individually, they're fairly common, but is it normal for one person to have so many at once? It just seems like a lot of explaining.
  
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  - Doesnormalmatter
    
    4 years ago
    
    Yes that's actually very common. I would need more than a whole notebook page to list all my fetishes.
    
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  - xxLucifer
    
    4 years ago
    
    Yeah, lots of people interested in BDSM have many different things they either like to do or are curious about. In all honesty I fantasy about pretty much all the same things you do minus the tickling part. I've also been able to do some of them in real life.
    
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Clunk42

4 years ago

No.

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RoseIsabella

4 years ago

Nope.

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- Doesnormalmatter
  
  4 years ago
  
  I told you rose, some people are into this!
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    4 years ago
    
    It's still messed up, and not normal.
    
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    - Doesnormalmatter
      
      4 years ago
      
      Normal : no
      Happens : yes
      Messed up : kinda
      Sexy : yes! Very!
      
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Are You Normal?

I think i'm some kind of weird masochist