I think i hate men

63% Normal

I am a 19 years old asian girl whom from young never liked to be close to boys. I feel like I don't want anything to do with them. I feel like I hate them.

I tried, I really tried to talk to to guys but I can't carry a conversation with them. I personally am a deep thinker, but the boys my age say too much nonsense. I can't stand their nonsense. They tell stupid and lame jokes, do childish acts, that makes me frown all the time.

Eversince I was 4, I didn't want anything to do with them. They are so insensitive, and when I try to discuss my thoughts, my point of view, my perspective with them, they don't reciprocate it.

And naturally when I came of age, like others, boys started to take an interest in me. I was involved in 3 relationships which till now makes me uncomfortable from the thought of it.They were 19, 23 and 24 respectively. BUT I COULD NOT talk to them. When I have serious problems with my life, when I needed support, when I needed to really sit down and talk like an adult, they couldn't! The conversation can last barely 5 minutes!

I refuse to talk to them again! I can't get the help I need from them, I always get shallow thoughts in return. And many times, they only end up wanting to kiss and cuddle and touch.

The reason why I accepted them for a relationship wasn't because I wanted to kiss or cuddle, I only wanted a shoulder to lean on... I only needed an older and more mature guy to talk to. I needed this sense of security and love my parents couldn't give me.

I'm a latch-key child from young... My parents had no time for me. I was brought up dutifully by my maid with no strings attached. I grew up fighting all storms and life problems on my own.

But I felt like it's time I needed a shoulder to lean on. But why does it always have to end up with them trying to cuddle or touch, or end up with them telling me nonsense and useless advise that I already know?

I was never a touchy person. I don't like to express myself with body language and neither do I like it when someone come hug me or touch me. I don't even like it when they hold my hand. Is it possible to find a man who will love me, talk to me, but don't touch me at all? Why do I feel so repulsive against men? Why do I feel like I literally hate them?

Is it because I can't talk to them and therefore I hate them, or because I hate them and therefore I can't talk to them?

Voting Results

63% Normal

Based on 123 votes (77 yes)

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Comments ( 18 )

[Old Memory]

13 years ago | pl

i know what you mean all guys are assholes

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[Old Memory]

13 years ago

all men are chauvnist they should be strave to death

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Lashawn

14 years ago

Im a black guy and I use to hate people in general..............im a military brat to a single mother that was never really home......everything I learned about the world has been from experience and media........Iv learned that people are naturally selfish ass holes that have hidden agenda's but there are a few good people that will prove you wrong and you cant be afraid to give them a chance. closing a certain group of people off only builds hatred and disdain......next thing you know your in a vicious cycle with many other problems but they were all caused by one thing......you have to be wise and take control of your feelings.

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- Silverlenses4
  
  14 years ago
  
  No I don't close the group up just like that. I'm constantly trying to talk to them, but i cannot take their shallowness. I really cannot imagine being with a men all my life with nothing to talk about. Sharing common interests has become a segregated thing from sharing my burden with me.
  
  I am very willing to share the burden of my guy, but he seems less than willing to prove his usefulness. In the short-term this relationship might work out but in the long-term would it? If your guy can't give you the life-support you need, can't match on par with your maturity level, can't talk sense, wouldn't you get annoyed eventually?
  
  I take good control of my feelings, I don't show it to anyone about this hidden resentment towards guys, only I know it, not even my bestfriend.
  
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TyLee

13 years ago

I HATE men too!!!!

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[Old Memory]

14 years ago

I read your story and you are fine. I am a man and I tend to be annoyed with males in general. I just don't see many of them be hardworking or kind toward others, including girlfriends, like my grandparents were.

I often feel like I am the last of the caring men out there. However, don't just blame the guys as it is the womens fault as well. The typical dumb girl would rather follow the moist part of her "flower" than someone who is her best friend and a kind man. Women usually go for the pieces of shit and men try to be that piece of shit to have someone themselves.

My fiance is heavy and although I do love her, at first it was extremely hard and lets just say all of the other more "prettier" girls were taken by assholes. I don't regret it now but I was annoyed coming from my asian exgirlfriend who decided to leave me for an unemployed alcoholic because he offered marijuana and I refused to try it as I am a clean living person.
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However, the good guys ARE out there and you seem like you could use a good one, eventually. Just please remember that the better looking guys are taken and you may have to take a hit in the looks department and "clean" someone up like I did to be happy,

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- FButtonABomb
  
  12 years ago
  
  Don't make out that you're one of the good guys, Bud. I like my lady for who she is, I got to know her and she's fucking beautiful. If she read what you'd written about your early days together, she'd be really upset.
  
  " Just please remember that the better looking guys are taken and you may have to take a hit in the looks department and "clean" someone up like I did to be happy,"
  
  Real smooth. You're the worst kind of arsehole, you don't have the right to call yourself 'the last of the caring men'.
  
  Lady asking the question; You need to move higher up the food chain, sweetheart. Whoever you are, if you've got the smarts, it's harder to find love, because it's easier to recognise all the things people do in order to get what they want. You need someone of your own level or higher, intellectual and emotionally. Stay clear of pricks who claim to be the 'last caring man on earth'.
  
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- Silverlenses4
  
  14 years ago
  
  I don't care about getting good looking guys really. What's the use if they can't even hold a proper conversation? I've also realized like what you said that many guys end up becoming assholes because many dumb girls prefer assholes. I'm pretty sure that I would never want an asshole to be my boyfriend even if he was gorgeous in terms of looks. I know some guys are nicer and easier to talk to than other assholes, but they just can't measure up yet.
  
  Have you ever met a guy who is as sensitive as a girl?
  
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  - Unimportant
    
    12 years ago
    
    A guy as sensitive as a girl couldn't survive in the real world.
    
    While girls accept a sensitive one among them, people would make a sensitive guy's life impossible - girls wouldn't want him 'cause he's a pussy, and guys would beat him up for being a faggot.
    
    It is a cruel world, I know.
    
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ComboBreaker

14 years ago

Wow. You are complicated. I think you have alot of soul serching to do. Maby what you're looking for isnt a boyfriend. I think what you're looking for is a farther figure. You said your parents had no time for you. Lack of attention from your dad can leave a void. You're probly trying to fill that void by searching for mature men to connect with. This could also be why you have a resentment towards men and also why you dont like being touched. You're looking for a farther, not a boy friend. Though i could be wrong. In all honesty, Only you know the anser.

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- Silverlenses4
  
  14 years ago
  
  I've already soul-searched all my life. I tried to get these men hating thoughts out of my head but I just can't. I even went to the extent of finding out the reasons and potential problems that could arise due to such thoughts fro myself. So soul-searching on my part should not be a problem.
  
  It's not like I hate men till the extent I feel like hurting any one of them, but it's like I can't take how shallow they are. I'm not looking for a father figure that's for sure, because my asian parents are traditional people. They do not feel that it is right for parents and children to hug or act like friends, we have a barrier to keep.
  
  Therefore it has inculcated into me such a culture that i feel distant from other human beings. I can talk perfectly well with girls, but even with the bestest of my best girl friends, we don't hug or hold hands, because they know that I don't like it. With boys it's all the same, it's just that I can't even talk properly with them.
  
  Is it my fault or is it theirs?
  
  I don't think
  
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- [Old Memory]
  
  14 years ago
  
  I agree with you.
  
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[Old Memory]

14 years ago

there is nothing wrong with men
there are men that most likly are the same as you but towards woman
i really dont like woman because of how they base all men by the men theyv dated who they knew were pricks but continued to date em cause they were cool and hot and got what they deserved but decide to blame it on men as a whole gender

but then i remember not all woman are like that so really i just hate seprate woman types not the whole gender

u really need to just find people that arent pricks try not to go after the cool hot men but maybe the ones that arent so good looking and arent much bad boys and ul see that only men you hate are the ones you like now

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- [Old Memory]
  
  13 years ago
  
  everything is wrong with men they are lazy self-centered pigs they can't do any thing them seleves thye rude gross and smelly at least the ones i met and seen post on the net
  
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firefly88

12 years ago

Quit thinking so much you prude!

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PoisonFlowers

14 years ago

So, you're implying something along the lines of: you want personal intimacy, not just physical. As always with these sorts of internet stories, it's hard to makes a properly informed judgement, but I have the feeling that you could be being a bit harsh on those past boyfriends. Conversations about ones problems and so on can be quite hard to deal with when you're on the receiving end and do not know what to say, so in order to make you feel better, they tried the other reasonable (though, unfortunately, ineffective) option, which was to give you a cuddle and tell you that it's alright.

On the other hand, it could well be that those relationships weren't intimate enough to be emotionally fulfilling and those partners weren't as interested in the emotional side of the bargain. You keep saying that you're looking for someone to talk to, someone who can be a shoulder to lean on, but are you prepared to do the same?

Okay, it is possible that you will find such a person, someone who will love you and listen to you (and who you will listen to back..!) and who isn't so focused on the touchy feely stuff, but that does narrow your choices somewhat. Are you sure you're looking for something romantic? It could be that all you need is a good friend and confidant.

Also, the way in which you describe your repulsion at men and how they touch you made me wonder - have you ever considered that your lack of interest in them may be because you simply aren't attracted to them in any way at all?

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- Silverlenses4
  
  14 years ago
  
  It's not that. It is the things they say that makes me mad. It's not only about dealing with problems, It sometimes is merely about everyday life, the things they say on a daily basis, the things they do on a daily basis etc.
  
  And of course, I don't expect people to be able to do something that I myself can't do it. So i'm prepared to give in emotionally and do the same like I expect them to.
  
  In terms of confidant wise, I already have my bestfriends who are all girls. I admit that I don't tell them everything, and I keep many many problems to myself. And the funny thing is, according to past relationships, there are many problems that I find it hard to tell my friend,and I only told my boyfriend. Maybe It's just something in me that secretly hopes he might be able to help me.... You see? I tell my boyfriend things that I can't tell my family or bestfriend. It shows how much I want to put my trust in him, but they always disappoint me... To me, a boyfriend figure has always been a person who gives me lots of security, protects me from pain, loves me from the bottom of his heart, and lessesns the burden on me that so many years no friend or family has been able to to do so.
  
  Which is the reason why, in terms of physiques, I am especially attracted to men who have broad shoulders. Because It feels like they can give you the security you need. And therefore, yes I am physically attracted to men.
  
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Whenthebeestings

7 years ago

Find your soulmate. Go on, you can do it; he's waiting for you somewhwere.

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Are You Normal?

I think i hate men