I think i am narcissistic. can i change?

You're probably no more narcissistic than most people. It's so easy to diagnose yourself with these things online... anyone who can read the traits will tend to apply it to themselves (omg I have aspergers, OCD, and...i think im a psychopath!!) So don't worry and don't start thinking you actually have this disorder. It's very unlikely and probably would have been spotted by someone else.

But if you think you are a little bit narcissistic sometimes, then you can change. I disagree with the first post; I think you can definitely change the way you think about things. Force yourself to. Everybody can control their own thoughts, its just that often we don't really bother to. It does take effort. Question whether they reflect reality and whether they are useful.

Although I think thoughts come first, it's definitely true that actions are what really matter, since they affect other people.

You can always have sex with dead people.

You're not narcissistic if you think there is a problem with your behavior. It's a catch-22.

99% of narcissists don't think they have a problem, so you are probably not one. You might just be an asshole.

In my humble opinion you have far goo much insight, self awareness and humility to be a true narcissist. You can change of course but only if you want to do so.

i did this too! i tried to find out how many disorders i have by taking quizzes online.

i thought narcissistic was declared not a disorder anymore? i heard it from the radio about 3 years ago. something like: because it's so common among people now and also it's a survival instinct to the demands of the world today or whatever. but i can't find anything on the internet that says that so it was just a prediction by phsycologists or behavioural expert perhaps? i dont remember.

anyway, to think one day narcissistic is a common trait among people and considered normal makes me feel just, sad.

Hello guys, been over a year since I last look at this. My entire life seems to have turned around. I feel so much better about myself, and have realised that's its normal to be care about yourself. I get on much better with my friends and family, and just feel much better in general! Thank you for all the advice. :D

Sure you can change, the fact that youre aware of it is a good sign. I used to be rather vain and self centered but since growing up Ive changed a lot. My image use to mean everything, I cared about appearing to be this perfect doll and all that crap but when you get a 'real life" ie job, relationship, have a child, it all comes into perspective.

hmm, you sound awful conscientious and self-critical for a narcissist. Are you serious? I'm confused

I would need much more info about specifics but it sounds basically from what you've said you're a normal person going through life, caring about his life, and you're feeling guilty for it. (from my understanding narcissists don't tend to be guilty) You may not have it that bad compared to others but that doesn't mean its abnormal to be concerned about the life you're living. You aspire to be more altruistic...good for you. Keep working on that.

You were probably raised by a single mother.

Most people struggle with their ego now and then, it's perfectly normal and this might be what's bothering you. Having some narcissistic traits doesn't mean you're a certifiable narcissist. Do a Google search for quotes about the ego, you'll see what I mean. It's something that can be worked on.

Furthermore, a narcissist (the personality disorder kind) very rarely wonders if there's something wrong with them. According to them, they are innocent, exceptional, and it's everyone else who has the problem.

I wouldn't say you are a narcissist. The fact that you think you need to change, as if who you are is "wrong" or "bad" isn't something I would see a narcissist doing.

Maybe just adjust your behaviors, but overall you're not all that different in this aspect than others.

Don't worry about it. For the love of God, don't self analyze yourself from the internet, or from what people say online. Been there, done that.

If you are worried about it (I wouldn't be, doesn't sound dangerous health wise) try get it checked.

I don't know if people can change the way they think. It seems like thought processes are inherent and are just the way people are.
However you can change the way you behave. The fact that you want to change is all you need. People don't change if they don't want to but they can if they do.
Work on thinking about why you think the way you do and use logic to overcome what you are feeling. For example if you are angry with someone think about why you are angry and if you anger is logical. What would you do if you were them? Try not to judge people too much because they're not perfect and accept that's the way it is. Also doing things for others will work well for you too.
Try working on your behavior instead of your thoughts. It's ok to think however you do but actions are what make a difference.