I talk to pie

I desire correspondence about my lifestyle. I am 34yrs, female, and pure Han Chinese.

To keep it simple, I like to talk to pie. Sometimes cake, but mostly pie. Everyone in my life is distant and sometimes hurtful, so I started doing this and has become normal.
I talked to a delicious apple pie and we hit it off. This was the first occurrence, and one that would set me on my path.
I then met a pumpkin pie and I just then discovered myself. She listened when no one else would, and was a true friend. I started looking at her more than a friend, and she was lovely; aromatic and had the most shapely crimped edges you have saw. Finally, on a beautiful moonlit night, I succumbed to temptation and ate a slice of her. It was magical.
On Tuesday I started chatting it up with a box of tasty cakes at the gas station, but I just got the strange stares so I stopped.
I have talked to all kinds over time although I find that key lime is too conceited.

I am lonely and confused about my actions. I searched the Internet to see if there are others like me and all I find was a man who talked to sandwiches. I however ceased communication with him as that is just weird.

Does anyone else speak to pie? I welcome all advice and like minds.

Voting Results
38% Normal
Based on 55 votes (21 yes)
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Comments ( 16 )
  • DannyKanes

    I talk to......PewDiePie! :D

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    • EccentricWeird

      And here I was thinking you were a straight-up auzzie, now yer just a darry ol dawg!!!

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  • bananaface

    All I ever want to do is devour the apple pie. I really don't bother with small talk, there's no time for idle chit chat! Call me savage, but I just get straight to the eating. If you can restrain yourself better than I can, then well done to you!

    I do make noises at food sometimes. Like when you're eating something and you start making robot noises. Unless it's toast, in which case I sometimes make dog growly noises. I feel like I should be embarrassed to admit this:P. It doesn't look that weird in real life, honestly! It just looks *slightly* like a dog with a newspaper. You know how they kind of shake it around a bit and kind of gnaw on it. Um, yeah. And then I just eat it making even more weird noises. Ok, I'm going to stop now, because there's worse. Nom nom nom! Food is so tasty.:D

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    • serialKiller6212

      No No No... your doing it all wrong. you're supposed to make robot noises when eating toast, and dog noises when eating sandwiches.

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  • InfiniteShadows

    I always enjoy talking to my pie. But every time we enter an intriguing conversation, my pie seems to disappear...

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    • Finally someone who understands!!!!!

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      • 1000yrVampireKing

        Ok I know you must be trolling but this made me laugh.

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    • Pika-girl

      NOOO! The delicious and tasty friend is gone! NOOOOOO! I didn't get to say goodbye to it! WAH!

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  • Avant-Garde

    I used to converse, as a child, with the toilet. I don't recall doing this with food. Despite this, what you are doing sounds pretty normal to me.

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    • .....So you're the one who authored the story about being friends with a toilet?
      I assumed that was a troll. Like this one obviously is.

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      • Avant-Garde

        Yes… I am afraid so…

        Oh! The shame of it all.

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  • xoxochick

    My favorite pie is key lime

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  • Pika-girl

    No! Stop! I'm hungry now!

    Mmm! Lemon pie...

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  • Avant-Garde

    Here I was thinking that this could be about another form of pie... HOW DARE YOU CRUSH MY DREAMS?!

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  • I uncovered that the only pie worthy of dialogue is apple pie.

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    • n Cherry Pie :P

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