I suspect my "friend" has a filthy habit

14% Normal
16 Comments

For a long time now, everytime i call my friend i have a deep suspicion that he purposefully sprints to the toilet in order to talk to me while having a sh*t.
my reasons for believing this are, he sounds out of breath, distracted, proud and slightly incoherent.
i daren't confront him incase im just being paranoid, but also because ill feel like a hypocrite, as just recently, i started doing it back to him. This "revenge" is starting to make me incredibly ill as we speak on the phone quite freqently but i cant stop because i feel we have a gulity connection. is this normal?

Voting Results
14% Normal
Based on 87 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 16 )
  • ArrestedDevelopment
    14 years ago

    Have you considered that perhaps he's wacking off while he talks to you?
    If he (and now you) genuinely are deliberately opening your bowels whilst talking to each other in some kind of bizarre mind f*ck then you both need help.

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  • BatZion
    14 years ago

    hes prolly wanking. not taking a dump.

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  • Eternal_Wisdom
    12 years ago

    you haven't heard a splash yet?? yeh probably wanking.

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  • costello101
    14 years ago

    I agree. He's masturbating. Jokingly say something like listen, if you keep panting while we are on the phone I am going to start thinking you are jerking off. At least buy me dinner first.

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  • Avant-Garde
    11 years ago

    He's Definitely masturbating and he purposely calls you at that time because he wants you to hear him. He likes that voice of yours.

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  • quaid
    12 years ago

    my dad liked to have meaningful conversations with me while he was whacking off or on the toilet. that's when we had "the talk" too

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Nobody takes a shit and jerks off at the same time do they?

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    • TheGodThatFailed
      10 years ago

      I do.

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  • Gidget
    13 years ago

    wow thats ridiculous

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  • ruralfrights
    13 years ago

    ^^^^^agree: Sounds more like wackin his stack rather than taking a dump.

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  • billnjoel
    14 years ago

    why dont you you join him. twice the people = twice the pleasure

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  • Mastersash
    13 years ago

    gross

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  • kittyjibblets
    13 years ago

    sounds erotic

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  • red_gal_85
    13 years ago

    oh my this has to be a joke lol

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  • Proudfear
    14 years ago

    yeah i agree with everyone else here

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  • starfish
    14 years ago

    It made me laugh when you added proud to the list. Anyway he might be wacking off while he talks to you and maybe now he thinks you're doing it back to him when really you're having a dump. So he might think you are attracted to him and then rape you the next time he sees you. SO STOP TAKING F*CKING DUMPS WHILE YOU ON THE PHONE TO HIM.

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