I sometimes really think my boyfriend is depressed or bipolar.

5 Comments

My boyfriend is grumpy all the time and we can barely go two weeks without a big fight. I love him a lot, and he's really sweet when he is in a good mood, but when we fight he acts incredibly immaturely. A sort of tantrum like behaviour that he later admits is not reasonable.

He's always warned me that he is a complicated person and that he has had depression in the past, but I don't how to handle/help him.

If I knew he was depressed or bipolar or whatever, I could know how to try to help him, or make him get help or whatever, but he doesn't tell me how to help him, I'm tired of feeling so useless. I've told him lots of times that I want to be with him and would love to have a fulfilling relationship with him, but I feel he doesn't let it happen. He's a pessimist, he's always complaining. he's bored...
I've given him several "last chances", (and there's a part of me who would be patient with him forever). I can't even plan a vacation with him because I'm always thinking we might break up before that, I don't feel like planning ahead. It's getting me down.

(hope you can make sense of my writing)

Talk to a professional. 16
Leave him. 7
Give him an ultimatum. 8
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Comments ( 5 )
  • Arm0se
    8 years ago

    If you're going to give him an ultimatum stick with it this time. He won't learn anything if you keep letting him get away with it.

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  • Ellenna
    8 years ago

    Admitting his behaviour isn't reasonable isn't enough, what is he prepared to do to change it?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      He may need to get some professional help, right?

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      • Ellenna
        8 years ago

        He has to want to change or nothing is going to make any difference, especially if you keep putting up with it.

        Heard that saying: If you keep on doing what you've always done, you'll keep on getting what you've always got

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  • Shackleford96
    8 years ago

    In my experience, people like that are never going to change. I do not deal with people like that.

    I find it hard to have sympathy for you either, because you are staying with him when you know how he is. Your false ultimatums aren't helping anything either. Have some gumption. Have some pride for yourself. Have some respect. Know that you deserve to be treated better or you'll never be happy.

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