I sometimes entertain the idea of being gay, iin?

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Comments please now here's my explanation: I know that I am heterosexual but to keep it clean I can watch gay pornography and get off on it. I sometimes read anime/manga with gay characters in it. So there are all these thoughts and feelings I get that make me point to considering it but I don't want to. I have had thoughts to it but I always come back to the fact that I should be a certain way. Society and family does have an effect on me I will admit that but I want to get rid of the bi-curious thoughts in my head. I know they would be there forever if I don't come to terms with them so I am just stuck right now.

I know it sounds like its repressed but I would not want to be gay I am against the idea of it I think its counter productive to society, etc etc. I am not homophobic I have friends who are openly gay albeit not flamboyantly. I think that if I were to try it that it would turn out awkward and there would be a whole plethora of issues to deal with that I quite frankly don't want to deal with. I can and do intend to live happy with a woman for the rest of my life but in the end I think it comes down to companionship. As long as I have a companion I would be able to do it.

Now I think I have built up a fantasy based on false pretenses about homosexuality. Mainly from the fictionalized accounts of it and all. But lets be honest a majority of my friends are male and not that that means anything I would just put that out there. I know a lot of the information I give is vague but I think I am just asking for reassurance that I am not gay. I would say I am bi-curious but would never want to try anything.

Any feedback would be much appreciated, what do you think I am going through. I don't think its a big deal but it has come up in my thoughts recently and I would like to deal with it now.

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Comments ( 4 )
  • Hmmaybe
    12 years ago

    You're probably slightly bi. It's not clear cut straight, bi or gay. It's a scale. So you might be primarliy attracted to women, but also slightly attracted to men. Most people in your situation act completely straight, have a partner of the opposite sex, which in your context, I would fully advise doing.

    However repressing your gay urges would be counter productive and decrease your self esteem, so you should accept them as part of you. This doesn't mean you have to enter a gay relationship or come out or anything; just let your self watch gay porn when you want to and don't feel guilty about it, there's nothing wrong with it and doesn't mean you have to do anything gay in real life.

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  • Dazzie
    12 years ago

    I wouldn't say you entertain the idea. It sounds like curiosity more than anything else. Doesn't sounds like you're gay, IMHO. Are you married or have a partner? If you do, spend lots of time with her. Spending time with her will remind you how much you enjoy being with the opposite sex. If you don't, you need to go find yourself a lass.

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    • Rhuarc
      12 years ago

      You know I that's what I have been thinking the whole time because I haven't been with a woman in a while. Thanks friend!

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  • RomeoDeMontague
    10 years ago

    You know this sounds like you are gay and you don't want to admit it. Entertaining the idea would going with a group of gay friends to the Gay rights parade even though you are not in fact gay. I myself have watched and read gay material but it was since I liked the story and it was never for the sexual aspect of it. Though even if you are secretly gay and know it if you choose to deny it is up to you. I could see that you dont want to deal with the drama of coming out and that is very understandable as some people will not accept it. You sound like you are only with women since you know you have to be but secretly like men.

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