I slept with my father in law

For a lot of women, it's very difficult to separate sex and love, so I can understand why you might be wondering if you love your father-in-law now.

It's also easy for feeling sympathy for someone to slip into feelings of love, especially if you're having sex with them. Loving someone is just caring deeply about them, so the boundary between the two is very fuzzy.

From what you say, it sounds like your mother-in-law is the center of the problem. She't not happy with her life, and so everybody else is miserable. I can only assume that practical considerations mean it isn't possible for her to just move somewhere else, or for everyone else to move away.

For many women, sex is about a lot more than just the physical sensations. For many men, it is mainly about the physical sensations - we're much more easily able to put sex and love in separate boxes. However, given what you say, I would not be surprised if your father-in-law is getting a lot more than just sexual gratification from your relationship with him. He is spending time with a woman who likes and cares about him and who is also willing to have sex with him. That has to make him feel so much better about himself.

How would your husband feel if he found out about what's been going on? Personally, I do believe it is possible for a woman to love more than one man, but your husband may not be so understanding. If he is close to his father, is it possible he would be happy to go along with you making his father's life happier as long as it didn't threaten your marriage? If there are problems between father and son, then I suspect that what you've been doing can only make things worse.

Although you feel guilty about what's happened between you and your father-in-law, you have clearly got something positive from your sex with him. Maybe it was just the physical satisfaction, or maybe it feels good to have two men want you. This is entirely understandable.

So, the question is, can you (and your father-in-law) have your cake and eat it?

I have no idea if it would be possible for you, but I can imagine a situation such as yours where the son, his wife and the father could settle into some sort of alliance between themselves that made the presence of the bitter older woman more bearable. For this to work, your husband would have to be completely happy with the arrangement. If your marriage falls apart, then you do have major problems.

Have you ever mentioned to your husband your father-in-law's flirting? If he reacted badly, then you need to forget about anything consensual between the three of you. If he reacted with sympathy and understanding towards his father, then maybe he would accept you offering more than just your company. If you wanted to attempt this, you'd need to be careful that your husband didn't become aware that you had already been sexually intimate with his father.

If this is simply not possible and you are very uncomfortable with the whole situation, then you must tell your father-in-law that the sex has to stop. It doesn't mean that you no longer like him or don't care about him or that he's anything less than great in bed, only that you're not happy with the dishonesty and how you're cheating on your husband. If he's a decent man who respects you, he will comply with your wishes.

If he's an intelligent man, he might figure out some way of persuading his son to accept you and him having a sexual relationship of some sort on mutually acceptable terms, but that's for him to do. Then, it would be for you to decide if you wanted to proceed.

If your father-in-law pressures you and plays on your sympathy, then I think you need to ask yourself what sort of man he really is.