I slept my guyfriend and now i's all weird. aahh!

Oh God.
See, there's this guy i know from school. and i've just known him for a year when i moved here. and lately we started hanging around a lot and we got along rather fucking good.

I mean.
He's this Anarcho punk, but he's actually real cute and what i like even more about him are his thoughts about life and politics, even though i'm not even present in that scene anyway. I just find this impressive. And he's sweet. and kind.

Anyway. so we've been hanging around so much these past days during christmas break. he's sometimes sleeping over at my place and vice versa and we often times just go and have a couple of beer.

And yesterday, i drove over to his place. And we had tons of fun actually. But we were drinking as usual too.

and when we came back home we were like picking "fights" and goofin around.
So. As we were giving each other nipple twists (not the evil ones, but my point is how easy going our friendship is)on the bed, he suddenly kissed me...or i kissed him...well we just kissed.

And so one thing led to another. Though all the while the both of us were saying "oh, this is so not okay. this is wrong. lets stop this" but we just went on (both of us!).

Now....well it's all awkward as you can see. I mean, frankly we're both agreeing that THAT was kinda wrong and we seem to have done it just because we wanted to...perhaps just not with each other, because the friendship that we have is just more important. And we decided not to talk about this ever and just ignore that and continue. But. I simply feel guilty.

And even tho he’s oh-so cute and sweet and wonderful I don’t think he’s into me…I mean…yeah well, that’s my low self esteem here, but anyway.
I don’t know what to do. Tomorrow we’re going to a concert and I’m hoping this isn’t going to be strange now. And I kinda afraid and perhaps we’re not going to see each other then. But I think our friendship is dying a bit right here. HELP!