I show my husband so much love and he is so mean to me.

8% Normal
23 Comments

I got married to the love of my life two years ago. He was so sweet, caring and loving. For the past year and a half he has changed. I do everything as far as pay all the bills, cook and clean. I treat him with so much love, even when he is mean. He is constantly calling me names, ignores me when I call or text him, yells all the time at me. My mother is dying and when he does let me see her, he puts me through worse hell than normal. He has also stopped having sex with me. I know he is not cheating. I am pretty and he used to want me all the time. Talking to him about it just makes him madder. I have told him I am leaving a few times, then he will be sweet for a few days, but for no reason he turns hateful again. I have tried everything to make him happy, but am now out of ideas. I know the honeymoon stage doesnt last forever, but is this normal after the honeymoon stage ends?

Voting Results
8% Normal
Based on 38 votes (3 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 23 )
  • noid
    9 years ago

    Thanks for reminding why I don't want to marry anyone.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    4
    4
  • Toball
    9 years ago

    Ending a relaionship is hard but this sounds like you'll ultimatly be better off for it; sure it MAY hurt for while (if at all) but aren't you already hurting right now? I wish you luck and strength.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • Yung_Sizzle
    9 years ago

    Not normal. I'd suggest a divorce before it gets physical.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    When you tolerate mean behavior you enable them to get worse.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • LifeTheRide
    9 years ago

    Divorce him you must. Your mother is dying. You don't need this asshole in your life making things harder for you.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • Crusades_
    9 years ago

    Recipe for a long lasting relationship: Treat your partner like shit. That'll keep them interested.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • reminiscent
    9 years ago

    Not normal... he is mentally abusive and controlling. .. he will always go back to being sweet for a little to keep you with him ... but he will not stay that way because that is not his true self.

    You need to end the relationship and never go back... you deserve better.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago

    Don't just tell him you're leaving for it. Something is obviously up with the so called love of your life. If you don't have any kids with him yet then count your blessings and get a divorce. I don't know if it's too late to get an annulment, but break free, cause this ain't gonna get any better.

    I suspect there's more going on than your post reveals. He could very well be cheating. Does he abuse drugs and or alcohol? Does he like to gamble? What's the money situation. Who is the main breadwinner here?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
      -
    • sanfran80
      9 years ago

      I am the sole financial provider. He does not work.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • RoseIsabella
        9 years ago

        Um hmm... Well, what are you waiting for, dear heart? Just leave this unappreciative freeloader.

        What does he do all day while you're working?

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
  • AlphaQ
    9 years ago

    Obviously there's some chemistry between you guys. Cause why would you marry him.

    See a marriage counsellor. Communicate.

    If hes that irrational see a psychiatrist or psychologist.

    Relationships and marriages are two way thing. Give and take. But your just giving and giving. Its a shame that you only noticed it now. Even threats of leaving him doesnt change him permanently.

    If he was that committed he would realize his behavior is throwing the marriage down the drain.

    As i'm a guy...i think hes got someone on the side.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • wistfulmaiden
    9 years ago

    Are you sure you love him? I think you DID love him but it doesn't sound like theres much to love about being treated like crap and being controlled.
    BTW go see your mom, youll regret it if you dont! If someone told me not to see my sick mother Id have my foot so far up his ass it would have to be surgically removed.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • sanfran80
    9 years ago

    We have been to therapy.only made it worse. There is physical abuse, but the emotional is so much worse. He has been arrested before, he is now on parole. I let him come back home because he swore he would change but its gotten worse. I left today with just my purse and clothes on my back. Trying to get up the courage to call the police. But its hard because he has convinced me its my fault, I keep remembering the good times and more than likely he will get struck out and a life sentence. I would feel terrible if I was the cause of him going back to prison with little hope of getting out.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Avant-Garde
      9 years ago

      Is there anyone that you can turn to for help? A family member or a friend? But before you call the police, can you see if your husband would be willing to get a brainscan. When I read your post and about his sudden change, I can't help but to think that he could have a brain Tumour. I can't get the possibility out of my mind. Good luck.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    put your mother first above him , she is dying and you might regret his stupid shenanigans when she is gone

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • omgcatz
    9 years ago

    He sounds like a narcissist. Run while you still have your sanity. They only care about what benefits them. http://divorcedmoms.com/articles/narssist-the-personality-disorder-you-do-not-want-to-marry

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • k10101010101010101010
    9 years ago

    you don't need him.. damned mooch can't even treat you nice? what's wrong with you?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Avant-Garde
    9 years ago

    He's probably extremely constipated.

    A poor diet and inability to take a bowel movement can have a negative effect on the neurological health.

    It could also have something to do with his mother dying.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Ellenna
      9 years ago

      His mother isn't dying, it's her mother.

      So control freaks and bullies just need a laxative? You have to be joking

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
        -
      • Avant-Garde
        9 years ago

        I guess I read that incorrectly. My mistake.

        Yes, I was trying to lighten the mood. Though, I now realise that my attempt was poorly executed and in bad taste.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
  • sanfran80
    9 years ago

    He thinks he has borderline personality disorder and has seen psychiatrist, but wont take his meds.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • RoseIsabella
      9 years ago

      Excuses excuses, I've got BPD myself and it's not an excuse to treat others badly. While medication can be very helpful for those who suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder the real progress happens in cognitive behavioral therapy.

      Then again, maybe he's faking it. I'd be suspicious of a person who cries mental illness, but refuses to follow doctor's orders. What I find most telling here is that he treats you badly, but conveniently changes his tune when you threaten to leave. I'd be willing to suspect that he's grown quite fond of the free ride you've given him.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      2
      2
    • Steve2.0
      8 years ago

      Just shoot him point blank in the face and spray his brain all over the house.

      That's a good cure for mental disorders.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0