I sharted!

that is extremely embarrassing. After I eat out and start to drive home, I'll get the sensation that I have to fart and I'll squeeze it out, but instead, shit comes out. It feels like a hard fart that needs to be worked out, but it's shit. Because I'm sitting down, the shit goes towards the front and my ballsack gets it. Most of the times, I'll pull over and check, using a napkin. I'll unbuckle my pants and yank my undies away and jam the napkin down in there and it's covered. If I've pulled into a parking lot, I'll throw the shitty napkin out the window. Once I managed to clean myself off pretty good, but didn't catch the shit stain on my shorts and people in the store I went into afterwards made fun of me. Now when it happens, I just go home and throw my undies away and wash myself.
My question would be is, how do I know it's shit coming out and not a fart before it's too late? A lot of my farts don't just come out easily, I need to fiddle with them to get them out. Some times are easier than others, but they still have to be worked out. Help!

Voting Results
21% Normal
Based on 101 votes (21 yes)
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Comments ( 21 )
  • deepthought33

    Why do guys feel the need to force a fart out but then take 20 minutes in the bathroom to ease out a crap? Can't you just let it happen when its good and ready? Its not like its gonna disappear. I guarantee you reduce your chances of shitting your pants if you just stop pushing so much.

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  • Anal leakage!!!

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  • Nikki:)

    Wear some pads!!!!

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  • TheTodd11

    Drink 2 cups of coffee right after you eat...

    Then take a big dump in the restaurant bathroom, and just watch how magical the rest of the night turns out..

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  • Thatguy777

    I sharted before...it was a disaster, but no one found out because I slipped to the bathroom. Damn Mexican food!

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  • zEropoint

    Is there anyone who *hasn't* done this?

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    • coldturkey

      Nope

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  • Why am I an idiot? It's a real issue.

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  • House

    ugh!get some big boy diapers.how can you not tell when shit will come out of your arse instead of a fart?

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  • bubber

    You need adult diapers, bro.

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  • ellaisrad

    go to the doctor, maybe you have ibs

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  • jasonapple

    Maybe you should go to the bathroom at regular intervals, eg. before it happens even if you don't need to go, you know what I mean.

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  • I shafted too. Right now. In my pants.

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  • They see me trollin' they hatin'...

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  • stikyfangers

    My mama always said the car started stinking(she knew), that is what I get for thinking!

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  • paradoxinsoxs

    Dude you never heard the saying " Never trust a fart"?--- or just go buy some depends of line haha

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  • Avant-Garde

    This isn't normal. What does your diet consist of? You should see a doctor because you might have IBS or some other issue.

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  • CrumpledPaper

    Fake. But I lol'd

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  • bronte_91

    Never trust a fart, they are sneaky bastards!

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  • randomjelly

    Troll.

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  • fatty

    Fatty

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