I self harm when i am angry

i had started self harming back in year 7. im in year 10 now and that hasn't really changed, except for the reasons why i do it.
year 7 was tough for me. i had entered my first secondary school and i hated it there. the experience changed me as a person; i was more angry, i fought with my parents a lot and i cried every night before i went to sleep. luckily i managed to get out of that dreadful school, yet i still had it rough at my new school.
two of my friends started to pick on me and i felt that same anger i had back at my old school coming back. that was when i started harming myself. i tried to ignore them by stabbing a pen or pencil in my hand or scratch myself with my house keys. i started to get dark thoughts of myself chasing my exfriends with a knife. instead of stabbing them i ended up stabbing myself (i don't have these thoughts anymore). i did not wish to hurt them and i still don't, i was just really annoyed at them but i was more annoyed with myself. sometimes after school i would take out a kitchen knife and try and cut myself, but i knew doing that would be wrong so i managed to stop myself a few times. i did tell my parents about my situation and they went to talk to the school counsellor. they only mentioned the bullying part though, not the self harming part. i think they weren't willing to admit that their only daughter would do such a thing. after that the bullying issue was resolved and my self harming issue was pushed under the rug.
year 8 was tough too. i started to experience panic attacks constantly. i was pretty disturbed by this so i talked to the school's life coach, keep in mind i stopped self harming in year 8.
year 9 rolled around and i managed to keep my panic attacks and self harming at bay. things started to look up for me. a few months back in the spring/summer i started to gain my old habits of self harm and small panic attacks due to a small 'depressive' episode that lasted a week. i felt empty and numb, so i cut my hand just to feel something. this ascended, self harm had intensified to using scissors or razor blades and i tried to make myself throw up. i started cutting on my thighs and stomach in hopes to hide what i was doing. i skipped pe lessons and i dreaded the summer holidays. i was scared that my parents would be worried or disappointed. i did see 'no limits', but i found that a waste of time.
when summer holidays came along i realised i shouldn't cut myself because i know my parents would see the temporary scars on my belly and legs. so, i stopped.
at least i thought i did...
the problem is i don't see my self harming as an issue anymore because i do it less frequently now. i only do it if im frustrated or angry and i don't really result in cutting much, i just hit/punch my head or bite my hand. im aware it's not a 'normal' thing to do, but i just do it. my parents don't know i still self harm-i haven't told them. they just can't handle it, rather, they just don't know what to do. i have asked them about going to see a gp in the past, as they don't know that i self harm, they just brushed it off and said that im growing up or it's due to my hormones. i have also been pondering about death a lot, knowing if i just died i wouldn't have to worry about anything. writing this out is making me realise how fucking messed up i sound!
im not really sure why i wrote this out tbh, i needed to vent about it. if you have any advice on 'distracting' myself or keeping my anger/frustration at bay, please tell me. feel free to comment your ideas and stuff.
thank you so much for reading this horrifically long post, hope some of you can relate <3

Edit: thank you for the support, it's released a lot of stress. I will write down my feelings more. You all have helped me so much and I am glad I am not the only one who's going through some stuff. I can't put down how grateful I am right now. Again, thank you you are so strong xx

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Comments ( 15 )
  • We all have ways to cope with stress and depression just some aren’t always healthy. I didn’t take a healthy road either I relied on drugs to give me a feeling beyond numbness.

    I went to counseling and even a psychiatrist and meds and found out I have ptsd and mild depression. It’s hard to talk about hallucinations when noone understands it and I already felt crazy to begin with. But after a while I decided to go cold turkey and find my own ways to deal with the pain. To fast foward to present times I still don’t do anything becides caffine and still deal with my problems but have gotten a lot stronger finding other ways to get through things and it’s made me stronger than ever to know I can get through a triggered episode where I’m not aware of my surroundings and can take my mind off it before a panic attack happens which I didn’t think was possible I get up walk around and get fresh air.

    Depressions hard too and mines unpredictable it’ll hit and stay months sometimes and annoys the fuck out of me but I still will go for a drive and listen to music and do what makes me happy to try and get out of it even for just a minute. I don’t have control but enough to push out my drug cravings. Even tho I miss how it made me feel ik I’m better off getting through my issues without help because eventually it’ll be all I want during the problems until it becomes a regular thing in my life and I can’t put it down. It’s never to late to quit a bad habit it won’t be easy but it’s doable and finding other non harmful ways to get you through this will not only have you feeling better but stronger knowing you don’t need what you think you do.

    But you’re far from alone here and if you don’t know if you can get through this on your own it won’t hurt to get some help from professionals I didn’t think I could. Find what you enjoy and makes you happy and do that in substitute or take a walk to take your mind off things. Idk if you can benefit from my story but from having a addiction that helped me to being stronger and finding my own happiness helped me Ik you can do it too. Dying often crosses my mind when depression hits but ik there’s more to life and once I found I can get through this ik I can get through anything. You’re cared about and although your parents may not know how to take this you won’t be alone with it and there’s lots of help out there.

    Sorry mines long too.
    I also love animals and simply having a cat around to give love is sometimes the only thing to make me smile but it’s a hell of a lot better than any budweiser can give me. At that moment my happiness is real.

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    • Zigby

      I appreciate your support. Thank you so much <3 your situation sounds tough, you are very strong. I will aspire to be as strong as you x

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      • You’re welcome ik you can do it 😃

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  • paramore93

    It sounds like you're in the UK(?). When I was in high school anybody could see the school nurse or councillor whenever they wanted. They will listen and can point you in the right direction.
    Also, in most cases you can see your GP without your parents. They shouldn't contact your parents without permission unless they think you need treatment/ are at serious risk/ are a danger to yourself or others etc.

    As for distractions, fresh air, writing stuff down, writing/drawing on yourself, talking to friends, mindfulness. Different stuff works for different people. Headphones on full helps me.
    You really want to be talking to somebody about this before it gets any worse. I kept a lot to myself for years and it didn't end well. I wish you all the best.

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    • Zigby

      Yes i am from the UK. Thank you for the support I really, really appreciate it :)

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    • SwickDinging

      Everything you've said here is true except for the part about not contacting parents - if there is evidence of self harm then they are obligated to contact the parents.

      However this may not be true if OP is 16 or over? Not sure on the rules there, when I was in this situation I was 13 and my parents were contacted immediately against my wishes.

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      • Zigby

        I was told by no limits that they were going to inform my parents, but my parents never really approached me. So I'm not sure if they actually spoke to my parents or my parents didn't want to talk about it? Sorry if some of my post didn't make sense to u, there's just a lot more detail and I couldn't fit it in. Thank you for commenting anyways xx

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      • paramore93

        Nobody contacted my mum other than to tell her I was possibly stoned. You're probably right though.
        Sometimes having a doctor explain it to family is easier, if it comes down to it. I would encourage OP to talk to the parents first though.

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  • Nocturnis

    The same thing happened to me too, and I began to self-injure to de-stress. But I strongly recommend that you visit a specialist, because it is something that will hurt you over time and you will have scars everywhere, and you will continue to hurt yourself every time you want to release the stress, because it is just as addictive as drugs.

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    • Zigby

      Thank you for helping x I think I will tell my parents if I feel that it's getting out of control, but in the meantime I will stay strong. Really appreciate it <3

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  • RoseIsabella

    I'm sorry that you are struggling with this issue. I think it would be ideal if there was a way you could see a therapist about this issue. I have had struggles with self harm for most of my life since adolescence, and I'm 49 years old now. I haven't cut in over eleven years now.

    I think you should search Google, and YouTube for something called self-soothing, or how to make a self soothing kit. Also I really think you would benefit from working on this issue with a therapist.

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    • Zigby

      Great to hear u haven't cut for eleven years, hope u r doing well. Thank you for the advice, I will try it out :)

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      • RoseIsabella

        Thanks, and you are very welcome!

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  • BlindSpot

    Sorry, I only read the title. I have seen a lot of people who self harm. I can understand why people do it. When you have been through a lot in life, you need an outlet, but don't take out the harms done to you out on yourself. Yes, life circumstances and horrible people damage you and hurt you, but at least you must be kind to yourself... That's what I think.

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    • Zigby

      I agree with you :) very kind words. Thank you

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