I secretly judge and compare my friends looks to me

95% Normal
11 Comments

I love my friends. i am a female with mostly female friends. ai cant help but secretly in my mind, check them out and compare my attractiveness to them. i realize what is hot about them and what isnt. i judge them secretly in my head. i would tell them the positive things about them if it came up in convo, and maybe the negatives if they needed me to be brutally honest. and when it comes to being around guys i am attracted to, ill feel threatened or not threatened based on if i think my friend is hotter than me or not. Is this normal? Does anyone else do this? is this bad? should i stop thinking like this? do i have self esteem issues?

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95% Normal
Based on 96 votes (91 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • SuperGreen
    12 years ago

    This is just part of the normal self-chatter that all people have in their heads, whether its girls comparing looks or guys comparing muscles or social status. If you feel insecure around attractive guys in the presence of an attractive girl, remember that attraction is highly individual and you never know what hot guy goes for the nerdy type, the quiet girl, the outcast, etc. Guys are only initially attracted by looks; the rest is personality. If you work on having a shiny and confident personality, you will likely be every bit as attractive as your good-looking friends and you'll FEEL like it too. People love confident people! Hope this helps.

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  • BoredGuy
    13 years ago

    I could have guessed you are a female without you mentioning it. Simply cause men dont give shit about how their friends look.

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  • devilan04
    13 years ago

    better you stop to think that....it is not for good relationship....

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  • that_kid_over_there
    14 years ago

    i think its normal, but that maybe because i do it as well

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  • heyabbi
    14 years ago

    I do it too. I realize every little thing about them that's off. I don't mean to it's just the way I am.

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  • juniormints198
    14 years ago

    :/***

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  • juniormints198
    14 years ago

    It's normal, but not very good, although I find myself doing it too ::

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  • drewdog44
    14 years ago

    I'm a guy with mostly female friends and I do that so it's ok! 8)

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  • hannahj03
    14 years ago

    As a guy I don't really understand this but most women I know do that all the time. You're perfectly normal for a lady.

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    • nikki25
      13 years ago

      ugh not to be harshh but it just means ur not completly happy with ur self so compare ur self to other womenn

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  • ttty
    14 years ago

    This is normal. And pretty horrible. And stupid. You have one set of standards for attractiveness, mostly a mishmash of your own tastes and things you've been told are attractive by other people, the fashion industry and other poppy media. And none of it matters. What you think is attractive compared to what a guy thinks is attractive (and there is an immense amount of variation among guys concerning what interests us, though the basic truisms regarding breast size and shoulder:waist:hip ratios are somewhat consistant) are two different things. By judging your friends like this you are being competetive, jealous, and trying to force them to conform to your own irrelevant standards. Let them be and look how they will. If they want help looking nice, recognize that you can only give them your own highly biased and quite possibly incorrect opinion.

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