I secretly despise my best friend

I had a friend like this. We coasted through High School, and our entire group started to dislike her. She pretty much abandons everyone for her boys/men, she keeps trying to get pregnant and keeps trying to get boys to marry her. When she's single, she comes back to us and acts all depressed. But when she's in a relationship she ditches us and wants nothing to do with us. We were always there for her when she was going through something rough, emotionally, physically and financially we always pulled through for her. But she very rarely did the same for us.

After four years of high school, most of us had enough. But we still didn't say anything. Three years after we graduated, and after her being engaged twice, she finally found a new guy and got engaged to him in less than four months. Then in April (they got engaged on new years) we find out she's officially pregnant (On welfare, food stamps, in a one bedroom apartment, after being fired from two different minimum wage jobs, they TRIED to have a baby. Not an accident, they actually tried for it). I was going through an extremely rough patch in my life, the other girls from our group all jumped in to help me like I did them, except for her. I only heard from her once in about three months and that was her announcing her pregnancy. The other girls pretended to be happy for her, but I actually spoke my mind and let out a good 6-7 years of anger on her. As a result, her fiance kept calling and threatening me and being a major pimple on my ass.

The lesson in this long story? If you keep this bottled up, and if you be a two faced person like we all were with her, its going to snap back and hit you in the fact. I thoroughly regret not being upfront with her from the beginning. If we were, we could have all spared ourselves from the years of having to CONSTANTLY drop our OWN lives to take care of hers. I know its important to be there for your friend, but if she's annoying you and taking advantage of the fact that your there like our friend did, you're really wasting your time and in essence hers.

I'm sorry this is so long, but I really hope you can see a situation like this in a new light from someone whose been through something very similar. If your friend decides that its something she can work on to continue being your friend, that's a good sign. If she's like our friend who whines and complains you don't support her for who she is despite her never being there for you, its just not worth it. I say break it off before it ends as awful as it did for me. Save yourself the stress.

why were you friends in the first place?

shes in her own world and u are in yours, have fun away from each other and mostly meet in passing, telling the news and happy , bye! bye! :) youll be friends then

I feel that feels bro. I had a best friend growing up, we were inseparable from ages 5-15. Once we hit middle school we slowly moved farther away from one another, but still within an hours drive. When I opened up and told her I lost my virginity in high school she abandoned me. All she could say was, "WHAT? No, not you too! I feel like all my friends aren't saving themselves and just giving it away to guys!" I was very surprised and hurt.. I ended up being with the guy for two years, so her implying I was a floozy was definitely incorrect. After that time we hung out and I opened up, (I was 15) she stopped talking to me. I haven't seen her in years.

Realizing that your growing apart from close friends is really, really hard. Especially when they don't support you or accept you for who you are. You don't have to be BFFS forever, sometimes friendships just don't work anymore because of changes the individual goes through. So it might just be that you'll have to distance yourself from her and surround yourself with people whom you enjoy being with.

Unfortunately it's all apart of growing up and leaving the past behind. This won't be the first time you encounter this, so learn well from the experience and do what feels right to you. Your happiness is your number one priority.

She sounds cool to me.
If you can't stop running her down like this behind her back maybe you should let her alone.
Nothing worse than being a fake friend to someone!

i think stay friendly with her, but i voted "keep it to yourself" because as you are roommates you really shouldn't start a feud, which could get ugly because you need to tolerate living with this girl. you don't have to be 'attached at the hip' or best friends or anything, just don't put as much effort into pleasing her. find people that make you happy, stay on her good side, and look forward to the end of the school year.

We went to the same boarding school together for two years in high school and lived together there, but we never had problems. The two of us and one other girl shared a room and we were always together, like basically attached at the hip. I guess the difference is that there aren't as many rules in college dorms as there were at our high school so now she just does whatever she wants. Before, we didn't have to weigh out consequences because we pretty much had our decisions made for us. Our school was really strict because we were all minors. I knew that we were different then, but I guess I just never realized how different we really are.

Try to make her see sense and change.