I really, really need help.

I'm not being sarcastic. Join the Military. Or AT LEAST look into it.

Join the Army aka Military... it will do you a WORLD of good...

From someone who knows, psychadelic drugs won't help you! Stay away from the serious stuff! Acid is a terrible, terrible drug. Pot's great in moderate amounts. Shrooms, even better, but stay away from acid for the love of God! You seem intelligent and acid will RUIN you.

My few suggestions: Get a job if possible, start going to some form of college or schooling, and if you really want to kick start the social life - join a band or start jamming at open mics (chat up the employees of the local music and record stores).

Be careful with drugs and booze, especially if you haven't done a huge amount of socializing, let the others get drunk and high and they'll never think you're "weird." Also, street drugs can be dicey, and you never really know what's in them.

Stay tight with your family, you'll always need a safe place and a warm bed, and they'll understand that it's time for you to expand your life as long as you don't go too crazy.

Ok first off working out good keep improving your body gaining muscle. Second get a JOB. Third GET A GED the equivalent to a high school diploma and then continue your job, and go to first a community college or junior college should be cheap rates, try to find a job in this recession. and graduate from college then get a real job. Or compete in body building. your life is shit so fix it and pull yourself toghter your on the edge so pull through. Do not do drugs as where theres a huge health concern you could die on the first hit except for weed. but a drug dealer might have put draino in with the weed to kill someone and mix up the bags. Dont get involved with a male lover he might give you aids. or a female lover she might get preganant. save your virginity. and go to a church a true christian will accept you and work hard with you to help get your life on back look at the apostle paul wrote practically the new testament and before that he was persecuting christains left and right. best advice I can give hope your life turns around. best of luck man.

At least you want to live a real life, that's a start haha. My opinion is smoke some weed. BE smart tho! Harder drugs are crazy I wouldn't do too much of those, but weed let's you be yourself a little more and not worry about how you look so much to other people. And smoking a bowl with someone is kind of a bonding expirience. I feel much closer to ppl once i've smoked with them. Just don't pretend like you know what your talking about if you don't, you'll learn though :)

I think u might see a phsychiatrist. They might be able to help you with your devastating past. My sister had a problem like that, so she went to see one an now she is 5x happier!

Get this on the news and go on an Oprah Show or something. You can do that if you really try. It's possible.

Ah, I see. That blows. You're right, if you get that from him, then that's not exactly going to help your social anxiety or self-esteem. Have you talked about your bisexuality with anyone; family or otherwise? It's partly because of things like this that I've developed a strong dislike of religion and things to do with religion.

It's great that you feel that it's the things that you have chosen to do which are helping you the most. That's what things such as support and counselling are meant to achieve anyway - they're meant to make you able to stand on your own two feet since really, the only person who can really help you is always yourself. As long as you have yourself, you can make it.

Thanks.

My dad is pretty decent, but he doesn't understand me at all. He's a huge jock and has always been very popular and outgoing and he loved school all the time he was there. He doesn't undertsnd my low self-esteem or my anxiety around people. I think he's very dissapointed in that I didn't go to High School and it's very obvious when I'm around him that he pities me and I think he harbors a lot of contempt for people like me who are socially incompetent. He's very religious and Republican and I haven't discussed with him my bisexuality and I don't think he would dig it at all. I wouldn't want to live with him even if he'd take me at this point.

I've given up on anyone from my family helping me at this point.

I am in counselling, but really I feel that it's my working out and playing music that are lifting me up right now.

Getting out of an undesirable situation always begins with WANTING to get the hell out of it, and I can see that you've got a lot of that in you. Taking things step by step, starting with the things which are the easiest to achieve is always the best way and as DrQuinnMedicineWoman said, that's what you've done, so you're on the right track.

You say that your dad is the most decent of the bunch - perhaps you could try living with him for a while. Maybe you don't know him well, but at least you get out from under your grandparents. Any kind of change is good. Have you been looking for a job? For independance in your life, you'll need money. Plus, it'll give you a chance to get out and meet people and integrate back into "the machine" of society. Not only that, but if you do go and live with your dad, it may sort of push you into getting some kind of job to give something back and not seem like a deadweight. If your dad has a business or something similar, then that's even better, because you might be able to help out. Or he could in a good word for you somewhere.

If you can't find a job, then there's always volunteering or those temporary jobs around Christmas and things like that. You can find them all on the internet. Anything that can give you experience and keep you busy is excellent. These things can make you better equipped for other jobs and...well, better equipped over all.

I think someone has already mentioned this, but it sounds as though you may have social anxiety (therefore the fear of be around people and low self-esteem.) You could get this or that therapy, but I can't say how helpful that would be. To be honest, I think these things can only really be eased by gaining a foothold in "an adult world" and developing social skills. It's bloody daunting, but you've already taken the first steps.

This place is somewhat helpful: http://www.dailystrength.org/

So once you have the money and more confidence and experience, you can go out there and really live a life. Travel, meet people, play in a band. Really live.

Well honestly man your one step above the rest of the unsociables like you. Because you are taking baby steps to improve youself rather than just let yourself fall deeper into depression and isolation. You lost weight, your working out, quit smoking, seeking help, all good things. It's a disorder to be so afraid of society. Don't know what it's called though. Your best bet is to start travelling now. Nothing is holding you back. Just pick up and leave my friend. It will be easier for you to explore society if your not familiar with it, then you have no reason 'not to go here' or 'avoid that crowd'.. you don't know anyone or anything.

good luck. cool you have such a real view of your situation. music and movies are enough to keep a person sane in a pinch. because i did the same thing.

don't worry about it too much, you sound like someone who is prepared to go out and live life (which is something most people are scared of). Go out and look for a job so you can afford to do the things you want to do. Don't be afraid of just talking to people, after all, if it goes nowhere; its not like you knew them in the first place, you have everything to gain.

Go see some help how the hell people on the computer going to help u sorry to tell u this but go to a actually person.