I really like this guy but he has anxiety and

8 Comments

There's this guy I really like. We have absolutely nothing in common so it's weird. Like he likes rap i don't, he is vegetarian, I eat meat, he has had many sexual partners(over 50), I'm a virgin etc but I feel great chemistry when I talk to him and he makes me feel amazing not with compliments but in just listening to me and truly caring.

Anyway problem is he has terrible anxiety and I knew this but because of it I kept getting mixed signals like he would act like he wants to date me but then pull away but my friends friend knows him and he didn't know I found this out but apparently I'm the only girl he's interested in right now but he's afraid to get involved because of his anxiety.

I don't know what to do. Maybe he's not ready but I can't just wait for him to feel ready, can I?

Wait a little bit 2
Wait as long as it takes 0
Don't wait for him 5
Ask him to try to date 9
Other 2
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Comments ( 8 )
  • CozmoWank
    4 years ago | pl

    If he's had over 50 partners maybe his anxiety is caused by worrying he'll get a phone call telling him he's a dad.

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    • RoseIsabella
      4 years ago

      ... or has a disease.

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    • brutus
      4 years ago

      haha

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  • SwickDinging
    4 years ago

    If you really like him then ask him out. If he says no then maybe just stick to being friends but move on romantically with someone else.

    Don't hang around waiting for someone. If he wants to be with you then he'll say yes to your date.

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  • SuckMeCock
    4 years ago

    Move on, men think with their dick

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  • Grunewald
    4 years ago

    He's had over 50 partners and you're a virgin. If you're a virgin, I imagine you're not as old as me (I am also a virgin and I am 29, and if I didn't actively try to keep my virginity - which Westerners only tend to do if they have a reason - I would have lost it by now). If he has had 50 partners I imagine he is considerably older than you. You are young; he is old. He has seen a lot more of life in general than you have. He has lived long enough to appreciate how long-term cycles of human experience tend, repeatedly, to pan out under given conditions. You and I probably haven't.

    Someone who is that different from you in interests, perspectives and age and has had that many sexual partners where you have had none, will probably not think/feel about a relationship with you in the way you imagine them to. I would say, prepare for your intuitions to be wrong. If he's 'holding back', it could possibly be because he is also aware of the trainwreck that this kind of match could eventually end up as. With his experience, he will be wizened enough by now, if he has any self-awareness, to know what kinds of situations end up as trainwrecks. He'll have taken stock of his situation with you and set about weighing it up, for sure.

    He sounds to me like a sex addict, or someone who turns to sex to fill a void. And even if he isn't/doesn't, I still think you would eventually regret dating this man.

    A lot of people will listen to you and care. A lot of people will do it without being sexually interested in you at all. Don't let the joy of affirmation and acceptance blind you to the potential pitfalls of this match.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      I really appreciate your long response.

      He's actually only 24, I'm 23. He did do it to fill a void, he's told me that. He hasnt had sex in 2 years because he's finally getting therapy for his anxiety which was caused by physical abuse from his father. He did turn to sex and said he was addicted.

      Yes that part bothers me a ton about his past and he has told me he almost broke his two years clean this past weekend but canceled because he hates himself for it. He knows I'm a virgin and respects that.

      I also may have worded that wrongly because yes, he listens and cares but it's so much more than that. I feel like he's my best friend, like I can tell anything to him and he has so much depth to him. Our conversations never run dry and are always intellectually stimulating as he seems like an old soul. I have met around 50 men myself although not for sex and not one had even a smudge of connection to me. All men I encounter seem to not at all feel right to me, there's always a disconnect but with him I feel at peace and fully myself.

      Maybe I am crazy but thanks for all the input

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  • RoseIsabella
    4 years ago

    Forget about him, and look for another virgin who is not a basket case.

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