I really like him, but he's straight.

Don't tell him. As a straight guy, if one of my closest friends told me he was gay and in love with me, I would be scared, and I'd want to stay away. Just keep your friendship

There's a good chance he already suspects you are gay. That may be why you've grown apart a bit. If you think he fully believes you are straight, then why couldn't be also be gay and you fully believe that he is straight? You never know, he might be bi, or even gay and you just don't know.

Tell him you are gay but come on to him as you always do. Don't tell him you love him, or anything else that might scare him away. If you tell him you are gay there is an excellent chance he will tell you his leanings. If he's not gay you will simply have to remain friends. If you don't come on to him there is not a lot of reason for him to stop friends with you. As I said, if you never date girls and he's as close a friend as you say, he probably already knows or at least suspects and he's still your friend.

Straight people have the same problem. Sometimes one of a pair of mail-female friends falls in love or wants the other sexually. If the other person doesn't feel the same way, the friendship may end. You are better off because you can start talking about gay people or tell him you are gay and find out if he is at least interested in gays before telling him you love him. With straight friends, you already know the other likes your sex, so its disclose the personal feelings or nothing.

I went through something like you. I like my husband to have sex with other women. It took me almost two years of letting him see me get excited when he told me about sex with his prior girlfriends, and fantasizing with him in bed before I actually got to the point that we were both comfortable enough for me to tell him I wanted him to screw my friends. By the time I set that up, I knew he would accept the whole thing without worrying that I didn't love him or that I wanted to cheat too.

Start by talking generally about bi people, then work yourself to gay people. Gauge his attitude. Eventually, you'll have a good idea whether to tell him you are gay. After you do that and discuss it for awhile, you will have a good idea if he will reciprocate you feelings. If you don't think he will reciprocate, keep he friendship and don't scare him away. If he is such a good friend, he'll eventually know you are gay, but probably won't care much if you haven't made unwelcome advances.

I think you should be honest and tell him that you are gay, don't mention the 'in love with him part' yet. See how he reacts, it may take some time for him to adjust to the new you. That's normal. Then take it from there. If it turns out he wants to stay your friend only,then respect that and get someoNe else to fall in love with. Remember you only live once, no use in wasting your time on something that might never happen. Good luck

Man, exact story here, except I got SUPER drunk the other night when my friends took me out for my birthday, and apparently I pulled him to the side and confessed my feelings for him. Sad thing is I don't remember it. I don't know what I said to him or what he said back. All kinds of stressed about it. Only thing is, my friend knew I also liked dudes. I'm bi so it's a bit different. Enough about me though...

It's very normal and quite typical for men who like men to confuse the feelings which are normal in the context of a male friendship for romantic ones. Many gay or bi men have good strong friendly relationships with straight men. But often, there is an invisible line of comfort with your sexuality that needs to be honored in the context of those relationships. That line becomes a bit more liberal if you are honest with your friend. You should probably tell him you're gay. It's no doubt tough, but it needs to happen. He's immediately going to feel awkward about the closeness of your relationship, but how he reacts will show you if you should keep the relationship.

Back to me for a sec: in my situation, with my guy now knowing how I feel about him, I'm having to deal with where to go with the friendship now. If he is unable to reciprocate the feelings I have for him (which he is; he's straight) (still a little unwilling to admit that to myself. I'm bi so I think everyone also is, and just unwilling to admit it) I then of course need to get over my feelings for him. I'm finding it tough to be "just friends" with him. I'm learning we may have never been "just friends" and that my feelings toward him may have always been romantic. Keep that in mind.

Sorry to be so long winded and disjointed. Was just excited to see this on here since it so closely parallels my current situation.

I had the same story when I was younger, I had a crush on my best friend, told him the truth and at first he was okay. At first than later on we never talked after that . My opinion, be truthful to your mate be open about who who you are but not your feelings for him. Also depends on who he is? Always that question, the one thing running around your mind of how would he take it? Definitely keep the friendship just be careful where you step.

If he is your best mate, you should be able to be honest with him.

If he does not respect your true self, then it would be a sad story indeed.

Your views have been very helpful :) I'm just gonna ly low and see what happens I don't think he is gay or bi so I'm just gonna need to leave it where it is :) btw for the person who said " I don't see the is it normal question " is this Better...is it normal for a gay man to be in total love with his best and streight friend ! Loves joe x

Well im sure there was an Adam and Steve after Adam and eve I mean come on grow up

He seems straight, but you never know. If this guy is judgmental about who you are, then screw him. BTW I'm straight

does he know you are gay. i feel keep the friendship, dont tell him because you may not like what he may say back to you, it might hurt your feelings, and you may also loose a good friend, if he was ever going to be gay, you would of heard about him with a guy by now plus you are friends and he would of told you if he was ever interested in guys. plus if he knows you like him and doesnt feel the same things can get awkward.

I think everyone has some amount of homosexual tendency. It's just how much they give into it. Start pushing his buttons and see what happens lol

I would say something like "we should hook up to see what it feels like."

ask him if he has thoughts? or tendencies. i wanna try it lol but only with a chick present!

Ohh, hon...

This has happened to a few of my guy friends. The worst thing you can do is go through your life not knowing "what could have been". If he's as good of a friend as you say, then it won't hurt for you to tell him. If he abandons you just because you're gay, then, to be honest, you don't need him. You sound like a total sweetheart, so he'd be the one missing out, not you.

Main thing is, just tell him, and be honest. Express to him how important it is that you stay friends, regardless of the situation. And, hell, you may find that he feels the same. <3

Is it worth losing a friendship if you know he is straight then he might not accept you. Although if my best friend said he was gay I'd still hang with him.

hey there,

Funny, I had the exact same story except I was the other guy if you know what i mean. Was best friends with this guy since secondary school, like best friends. Did everything together. Went to uni together. We always have this extra connection in my opinion. We flirted a lot of the time. I was mostly sure, but sometimes unsure that he loved me and wanted to be with me. During this time we both had serious girlfriends. After he broke up with his girlfriend he came out shortly afterwards. Me - I was a bit confused. I knew I fancied girls but honestly was kind of fancied the ass of my friend. It was a funny time after he did this, cos then I knew he was into guys. We still flirted and were still the best of friends. And then we hooked up randomly one night about a year later. It was extremely weird but so exciting. And we have been together for three years now! And it's going brilliantly.

So my advice would be to come out if you think you're gay. That'll be the first step. Gauge his reaction. Maybe you might have an open conversation with him about he at some point. Ask him about him - if he ever had doubts about his sexuality. You never know what might happen. Have you been with many other guys? If not, then hook up and you might even get over him. You know best of course. Stop tormenting yourself anyway and be confident in yourself.
If you ever wanna chat, let me know.

@kittenkaboodell ..... You asked your husband to have sex with your friends??? Wth?

Keep the friendship

I don't see the "is it normal?" question here...