I really despise my mother

Growing up in a house with two brothers an older and a younger, being the middle child really makes you feel unnoticed. All of my sibling and I have different fathers. Mine however wasn't there growing up. All I had was my mom and grandma.
I feel bad because I think it's wrong to say you hate your mom but she put me through so much emotional abuse. I never got any encouragement during school it was only when I did something wrong when she would open her mouth and yell at me and then take everything I liked away. But when my brothers did something wrong she would say "it's okay sweetie do better because I know you can" she would come home from the stores and never buy me anything but my brothers. She lied to me my entire life saying my dad didn't want me he neglected me he got locked up. None of that was true. He wanted to be a good father, wanted to be in my life. She pushed him away and manipulated and lied to keep him out of my life. I missed so many years with my dad because of her. I finally got in touch with him and she made my life hell. Cussing me out, threatening to kick me out, lying and saying he abandoned me... I had to seek counseling. She always talks down on me. And makes me feel bad about my choices in life and how I look. I can recall her telling me growing up not to smile because my teeth were so messed up. She always told me that I should be like so and so and I never felt good enough. Never has she ever complimented me and told me how proud she was. She stole money from me and opened accounts in my name now I can't bank with certain banks for 7 years. today she told me my older brother was more important than me....

She makes me feel like crap she doesn't even care. She hates me and my dad.