I quit smoking marijuana and now it seems like i have no more friends

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I quit smoking marijuana at the beginning of this semester (Fall 2010), and ever since then it seems like all my friends have been so distant. Obviously not all my friends, but most of them. Probably about only four people still keep in contact with me. It stinks because I am a junior and for the past two years of college I had been around the same group of friends. We would always just hangout light up, drink, and have fun. But, I began to think about life after college and if this is the road I would want to continue going down. So, I finally realized that it was not the life I wanted, and I quit cold turkey along with cigarettes, too. Ever since, it seems that my friends just grew estranged from me, or I from them. As I would go to classes, study for exams, or go to the library they would just keep at it. Also, it's not like these people were my world, but they definitely were the only immediate social circle that I had in this environment. Now I'm just always in my room, at the library, or just reading something. I don't mind it so much, although, I'm just so lonely and angry at myself for not beginning my college experience with friends whose connections to me weren't mainly based on getting high together. This is the reason why I kinda feel depressed, because I don't know how to really connect with other people now, I'm left without friends and the necessary social skills to make new ones because my initial relationships for the past two years of my life were based on a mere short high.

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Based on 220 votes (197 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • TheJackel
    13 years ago | pl

    (Clap clap clap), bravo mate! You just summed up my life to the tee! Literally identical experience. Maybe nows the time u try new things u enjoyed befor getting high. Sports or other hobbies ? Join a club at school. Or maybe chill more regularly with an acquaintance that u know that doesent smoke as much to transition away from them. It's hard when ur surrounded by pot culture.

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    • MR>E
      11 years ago

      itz crazy i have and identical problem...to solve this problem i started learning mixed martial arts, tai chi, studyin more and just bettering myself as a person. i also spent alot of time working out.. i feel the key is to start enjoying life more trying new thingz and to become more intone with your self, surrounding yourself with more positive friendz wouldent hurt as well...(hope this helpz)

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  • heckyea10
    13 years ago

    I know it's cliche, but it really shows you who your true friends are. The people who like you for YOU, not just someone else who just sits with them and smokes. Drugs, marijuana especially, is a group themed drug. People do it in groups, without much thought on how much they truly LIKE the people they hang out with.

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  • Victor77
    12 years ago

    Hey man. Going threw the exact same thing here. I've been sober for about a month and i'm starting to see things like I did before I picked up the habit, its almost like all my friends dissapeared. The only way we ever really hung-out was if someone would call and say wanna chill aka lets get high. I know what you're going threw and it sucks but it gets so much better I personally enjoy life way more. I'm just a way more happy and optimistic person. Can't wait to start getting my life back on track. Even taking up mma come septembre. My relationships with my family and my my old friends prior to smoking up everyday are much stronger then before. The herb effects us all differently. Unfortunatly for many people like myself its not in a good way. Anyways goodluck!! I know i'm a better person for stopping.

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  • narwhalkisses
    13 years ago

    I went through the same thing. I use to be a huge drinker and druggie, onced I stopped my friends started drifting away. 3 years later, I don't have many friends but I found people with the same interests as me and I learned a lot.

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  • takeiteasy12
    13 years ago

    Duh.

    'nuff said already.

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  • ajscott0613
    13 years ago

    I am going through exactly the same thing right now. After coming home from college this winter break I thought alot about where my life was going and I realized that I didn't want to spend my college experience always high. I didn't start smoking pot until college but once I did I was smoking everyday with the same group of people. Once i got back from winter break I told my friends that I was going to quit smoking pot. They didn't take the news too seriously but I feel there is a distance between us now and I feel akward being the only one in the group that isn't stoned and so I have been spending much more time by myself recently than i did last semester. I hope that you are able to get through this ok because I can relate what you are going through.

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  • bleach_baby
    13 years ago

    maybe you should make it clear to your friends that you don't disapprove of how they are living their lives or judge them, or mind them smoking around you and you could hang out as usual, except you wouldnt be high?

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    If you really were a weed-smoker, then you would know that people who like weed don't like people who "disapprove" of it rubbing their self-righteous lifestyles in their faces. Could this be the reason they don't call you anymore? I don't know for sure because we only get to read your perspective and not theirs, but it's a good guess. I guess it doesn't really matter anymore (your reasons for ditching them) because you will never be friends with them again.

    Sounds like it's your lifestyle and your attitude that has made you too cool for school. I'm not saying that you chose the wrong lifestyle either - you did what you need to do for you and that is the best thing you could do (Good on you!).

    What I think is silly is that you think that you are doomed to be friendless because you spent your first years with a group of friends you no longer associate with. That's just a stupid assumption because you can EASILY be friendly and make new friends even in your 3rd and 4th years - and the rest of your life. It just depends on you (not on other people).

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    • [Old Memory]
      13 years ago

      Oh... And I have one more thing to add (I know, I write too much):

      I am a university student too. I smoke weed every day. I have a 3.8 GPA. I make friends with many different people: pot-smokers and non-pot-smokers alike. Because I find it pretty easy to manage, I think that it is your attitude that holds you back and not your past friendships.

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        13 years ago

        I really don't think it's my attitude,but you're entitled to your opinion about the matter. You also need to realize that not everyone is as smart as you, so I'm not able to smoke marijuana and maintain a 3.8 GPA. Good for you, but I'm not you so please realize that when you make your assumptions.

        I don't think I'm doomed to be friendless, its just that I was so used to hanging out with these people everyday for the past two years of my life (its sort of like high school, then you have to transition into college). Well, for me this is my second time needing to transition in college, and I'm not too happy about it because I was so used to be surrounded by people.

        Obviously, and hopefully, I will not be alone for the rest of my experience in college; it just sucks to have to adapt to an entirely different lifestyle than the people around you. Yeah, I may be a little self-righteous, or selfish to be more correct in that, but if I am not at least a little selfish then I will end up a bum, because I'm not a pot-head with a 3.8 GPA and neither were my friends.

        Also, your ability to smoke pot and maintain a healthy GPA reflects your other abilities to maintain friendships with other people. From this thinking it can be seen that this relationship does not apply to me.

        As far as "rubbing my self-righteous lifestyle in their faces" goes, I don't and didn't. As soon as I told them I quit smoking pot for good, the phone calls stopped and so did the visits, too. As for me visiting them, I did and every time they were smoking, and I would get tempted to smoke myself but didn't. So, there is some fault on my part for the estrangement, too. After a while they realized I was serious, and I guess just stopped bothering with me. But, I don't really blame them or myself, since I finally realized that the only real connection we had was the marijuana and that's all; so if the marijuana was the only connection, then I didn't really feel any other incentive to stay in connection, same conclusion they probably came to.

        It's probably confusing to you or not conceivable because you smoke pot. Pot smokers associate with their habit a sense of spirituality that blinds their connections with others -- that is, they don't realize until all the smoke is gone that what really binds them together is the marijuana and the high-talk attributed to it. You feel like you belong, but can you really see yourself smoking pot with these people for the rest of your life? Do you really think the group comes first or does the cohesion of the group depend on the marijuana and its effects?

        I don't think marijuana is bad or good, I think it is just not for a person like me and I hope people like you and my friends understand this.

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  • 8Serene8
    13 years ago

    That's because weed is the shit.

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