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I'm nearing 50 and I have no children. I went through a period where I desperately yearned for a child. Unfortunately this never happened due to circumstances at the time. What makes it even harder is most people make me feel like I'm less of a human being for not having had children. Are there other women out there who feel the same way that they are not whole?
Of course you're not missing out. For all we know, it was a good thing you never had kids. Not that you wouldn't make a good mother but because maybe you were meant to do something else in life like contributing good things to society as a whole. Not to mention how stressful, tiresome, and life-imprisoning being a parent can be. Not everyone is meant to have kids and you're not less of a human just because you never procreated. Heck, it's not likely I'll ever have kids either unless it's by adoption. Not because I'm infertile (However, even if I was, it wouldn't matter as I have no interest in going through pregnancy and childbirth) but because I believe it's not morally right to bring kids into a burdened, despressingly overpopulated world where suffering is evitable as well as death (I'm a Antinatalist you see). I honestly believe that if one truly loves their hypothetical kids, then NOT having them would be the best thing. There's too many kids out there in need of parents and homes as it is and those children go through enough suffering in their lives. I think it would be far better and humane to open your heart to an existing child. So if you really want a child, you could probably adopt. If you pursue that, good luck. If not, just try your best to find other things in life that'll give you happiness and fulfillment. If you can be content this way, then children will never be a requirement of you or a neccesary way of having purpose.
Adoption is a wonderful (and vastly under-chosen) option! I personally believe it's a bit selfish to insist on bringing one's own offspring into the world when we already have so many without loving families. There's nothing wrong with having your own biological children, but I know couples who couldn't have their own and refused to adopt because the kid didn't come from their own loins. It's missing the entire point of parenthood, if you ask me.
It probably would have been better for you not to have been born, seeing as you will die one day. That way you wouldn't have had to suffer either! So why not just end it all, and revel in the fact that you escaped the evil clutches of the world?
/sarcasm
Maybe you're missing out and maybe you're not but the truth is there's nothing you can do now. I'm 44 years old and in a similar situation myself.
I was pregnant with my second ex husband and did lose it. There's nothing I can do about that now except pray, meditate and mourn on occasion. I'm not saying that a miracle can't happen in my life but I'm single, have no inclination towards adoption and that window keeps getting smaller and smaller.
My life isn't over and neither is yours. I live with depression anxiety a personality disorder and I started developing chronic pain issues 2 years ago. I tend to have a lot of anxiety around other women because of a certain "type" who makes a point of defining feminity by some domestic standard in which many of us do not fit whether by choice or circumstance. I'm making a conscious decision to understand these annoying types of females probably define themselves solely by their domestic role as mother and hausfrau. Their annoying, proud and boisterous proclamations are more about themselves than anyone else. Who knows, some of them might even be miserable and just trying to convince themselves that they're happy.
Hang in there, girl and don't let other people define you!
You might look into learning Reiki, a Japanese energy manipulation technique that can help you control pain. Look in the Yellow Pages, if you can find them, under Massage Therapy. Call them and verify that they practice Reiki; some of them practice Accupuncture as well. Both of those can help you.
Please stay positive. God bless you!
You know if you want/ wanted kids or not. I'm 20 and I know I'd love to have them one day. I know people who've never had kids, there is no rule that says you must have kids. It's your life you do as you wish. Don't let others put you down for your choices or circumstances.
Do you feel any regret over not having any?