I need relationship advice (only serious please)

42% Normal

I have been with this guy for a year now and im deeply in love with him

But he never ever told me that he loves me

Thats not the only problem , he has never suggested doing anything sexual this whole year, kissing when meeting is the most sexual thing we do ( if it can be called sexual ) and he also lives alone and he didnt ask me to move in

What should i do

Voting Results

42% Normal

Based on 24 votes (10 yes)

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Comments ( 45 )

Nutmegf

6 years ago

you cant make someone love or be attracted. but you can help if hes shy. make a move

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  tell me how
  
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Hotdogsaregross

6 years ago

Well the only thing to do is tell him how you feel and what you want out of the relationship.
If he doesn't want the same things as you then you should leave him even if you love him because you will never fully be happy in the relationship.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  i would prefer to commit suicide than to leave him
  
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  - Hotdogsaregross
    
    6 years ago
    
    That does not sound healthy. You never answered what another poster asked. Have you told him that you loved him?
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      6 years ago
      
      no :/
      
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      - Hotdogsaregross
        
        6 years ago
        
        Well I think that should be one of the first things to do. Tell him you love him.
        
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  - Ellenna
    
    6 years ago
    
    That sound very very needy and desperate
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      6 years ago
      
      no but i really love him
      
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Electra

6 years ago

Passionate kiss, he’ll come.

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Wtf055

6 years ago

He probably feels the same way, and is trying to take it slow.But there's nothing wrong with initiating it first.A girl not doing it first is so stereotypical, be different.Be blunt about it.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  what should i say
  
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e51pegasi

6 years ago

The only way you are going to find out what he wants & feels is ask him.
Have you told him that you love him? Have you told him how he makes you feel?
Has he shown any signs of sexual arousal (not just an erection) when you are kissing or cuddling?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  girls can never ask for these things first , i dont want to sound thirsty or something
  
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  - Hotdogsaregross
    
    6 years ago
    
    You been with him for a year so I don't think you are going to sound thirsty by asking your boyfriend of one year to do sexual things. He may be shy sexually and is waiting for you to initiate or he could be asexual. You will never know unless you ask.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      6 years ago
      
      how exactly can i do that
      
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  - Ellenna
    
    6 years ago
    
    What century are you living in? Of course girls can make the first move: why not?
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      6 years ago
      
      how
      
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  - e51pegasi
    
    6 years ago
    
    Trust me girls can & do.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      6 years ago
      
      probably in america only
      
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      - WiNkWOnK
        
        6 years ago
        
        where are you from?
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        6 years ago
        
        austria
        
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Anonymous Post Author

6 years ago

hes not shy at all im the shy one , my shyness is destroying my life kinda .

I really appreciate that you wrote this but i cant do it because im the shy one not him , and that last sentence destroyed me i wished u never wrote that :(

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JonathanOo

6 years ago

It's possible that he isn't ready for that type of deep commitment yet. You can either wait and be patient until he is or ask him about his feelings and where he thinks the relationship is going. 1 year isn't that long unless you're over 25 years old. I was with someone for 3 years before we moved in together. Sometimes guys can start out slow and try to limit the emotional side of a relationship. It takes patience to get further without messing anything up

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  thank you so much , are you still with that person of 3 years?
  
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  - JonathanOo
    
    6 years ago
    
    I wish:( Sadly I am not. I took too long to figure things out and fix myself personally. It was definitely worth the chance to be with someone so special though. I'd do anything to have more time because it only got better and better. The first 2 years were very slow, not many dates. Mostly work and school stuff with close friendship. It definitely was not a few month fling then dump the person/move on to another
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      6 years ago
      
      why did u guys break up
      
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      - JonathanOo
        
        6 years ago
        
        I had issues. Mostly social awkwardness and lack of understanding relationships in General. I was learning but not fast enough. I simply wasn't a suitable guy. All I knew how to do well was work hard, provide assistance, and pay all the bills. All the emotional/dating stuff I sucked at. I was a total idiot
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        6 years ago
        
        why dont you tell her that and maybe she can understand
        
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MR.mr

6 years ago

How old is he, what's is relationship history, how many has he had before you?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  we are 21 , he had 2 girlfriends before and he is my first bf
  
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RoseIsabella

6 years ago

Maybe he's gay, or is happy just being platonic friends?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  he is homophobic
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    6 years ago
    
    A lot self hating closeted homosexual men are homophobic.
    
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Ummitsme

6 years ago

Wear some sexy lingerie, come up to him and throw him down. Blow him, if he gets hard ride him. If he doesn't take over at this point. If he doesn't get hard and show some initiative he is way to shy and possibly too weak of a bitch?

Never let another determine your self worth. You can find many that will value you way beyond this apparent impotent, "man" you have, I imagine. And sex is just sex, but it is very important. If he can't communicate about his problems in the bedroom, he won't be able to communicate anything else that is very emotional and important. You may need to seek someone who is more on your wave length. It would be selfish to string along a bitch boy. The most altruistic thing to do is let both of you move on and for you to find a quazi man with a working dick you both can experiment with to meet your sexual and emotional needs. Never forget you matter most.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  im not a whore thanks , and hes not a bitch just because he hasnt asked me to do such things yet
  
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rayb12

6 years ago

You say problems but I see no problems here. These are all very common ways this scenario goes in a healthy relationship that leads to love.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  hopefully
  
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pendletonGibbs

6 years ago

Are you heavy? That might be the reason he doesn't want to have sex with you.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  im underweight
  
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TNXK

6 years ago

maybe he is ashamed of his body, and doesn't want to show you because he is really shy?
And even if your in Austria you have a right to know if he even considers marriage or what his thought on children are. i think you shouldn't be shy to ask him what he wants in life, you are just nervous on scaring him away because you are so attatched.

whats troublesome is your lack of will to live if he leaves you, like what were you doing last year that is so bad to go back to?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  i wasnt serious about suicide lol it was just like a metaphor , and what do you i should do ? like go up to him and ask him questions about sex and marriage ? i dont think its a good idea
  
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  - TNXK
    
    6 years ago
    
    well, girl i dont think any couple should feel awkward talking about their romantic actions, i think it is something you and him should be able to openly express.
    
    If he is uncomfortable you should know, or if he is very religious you should know and he should know that your confused about his sexuality. he really could be gay, and just because hes homophobic and had two girlfriends doesn't prove anything. Im not trying to be rude, but it does happen so be prepared for that.
    
    i think you need to address it, its quite odd that he hasn't shown any interest in sex. your very shy so i know it maybe hard but you have to be able to communicate with him if your relationship will ever work.
    i suggest you just ask him "would you ever want to do more with me, then just kiss me?" straight up when you feel its the right moment, when your both alone and really enjoying each others company.
    
    If you want a little confidence boost you can ask him to set up a date night at his apartment, for a lunch or dinner and movie on the couch. shower and dress very nicely (maybe bring a bottle of wine if you drink lol) and then slowly drop hints that you want to fool around-if you do. if it works out you will have a very fun night.
    
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CozmoWank

6 years ago

Show him your tits.

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I need relationship advice (only serious please)