I need help. should i go to a psychiatrist for this?

38% Normal
18 Comments

I am in a 6 year relationship with a guy who I do love very, very much, but I've been talking to my ex boyfriend the entire time on and off but only for 1 day a month..now I started talking to him every day.

I never stopped loving him. I love him a lot, you have no idea. My ex and I know each other very well so he's no stranger to me. He calls me his close friend as do I with him, but he hasnt said straight out that he loves me loves me. He only says he loves me so much and then adds "as a friend" so I do the same, but im lying. I hate lying about how I feel, but why would I tell the truth?

I never stopped thinking about him for the 6 years ive been with my current boyfriend. I always think about him. I could be brushing my teeth and all of a sudden, I'll think about him and I'll smile.

He's the type of guy who makes you feel good no matter what. He ended our relationship because he was super busy with work during that time we were together.

No we talk every day for at least 3 hours straight and he mentions his girlfriend while we're talking about once. He hugs me and he even plays with my hair because thats what we always did and my boyfriend knows that hes very touchy. He loves hugging me and I love hugging him because we're like best friends only ex lovers..lol

He has many friends but I'm the only one he really touches a lot.

I even kiss his cheek sometimes as does he to me and I love it. We could just sit in the grass in the park for hours and just look up at the night sky talking.

We never "did it" but me and my boyfriend and I have. I dont feel that changes anything.

All I know is that he mentions his girlfriend in a way like "I should probably call my girlfriend" or "I have to go to my girlfriends tomorrow" or "I dont think my girlfriend would like it if I stayed here another hour"

then he leaves.
for your info, he smiles and laughs a lot when he talks to me and hes the one who first asked me out. it wasnt me who asked him.

I really love him a lot but he has a gf and i have my bf. i love him so much and i cant stop thinking about it. i keep dreaming and thinking about him all the time and i cant stop. i forced myself and stopped talking to him for 3 months and i was depressed the entire time i even lost 15 pounds because i couldnt eat. he says he thinks about me a lot and that i mean a great deal to him, but neitehr of us has said i love you. i told him i miss him as a boyfriend and he said im sorry. he didnt say he missed me as a girlfriend.

what does this mean and do i need help? is it normal? i cant stop talking to him i get so depressed when i dont hear from him. i feel like i die.

Voting Results
38% Normal
Based on 64 votes (24 yes)
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Comments ( 18 )
  • SadMostOfTheTime
    13 years ago

    The grass is always greener on the other side. Meaning you see things better when you don't have it. I bet if you were with him, you wouldn't feel the same, seriously. Bc there is no obstacle between you two to make it feel TRAGIC!

    And I seriously think you don't even love your current man...you're just with him bc you don't want to be alone and you figure if this OTHER GUY has someone, you might as well keep your man JUST IN CASE or to show the OTHER GUY you still can attract someone and he's missing out. And you possibly don't want to be the bad guy to break up such a long relationship. That's not fair to your current bf.

    I've talked to my ex every once in a blue moon, just to see if he's okay. BUT he knows we're NEVER gonna get together and I don't set up a situation for SOMETHING to happen. AND I LOVE LOVE my current man and ALWAYS will. He tries to make me see that we should be together, but I STILL REMEMBER why we couldn't work, bad habits die hard!

    You haven't even set boundaries. So you WANT something to happen AND that's truly selfish of you. In the long run, bc he refuse to leave her, you may end up being THE OTHER WOMAN, are you okay with that? And since he's disrespectful to his current woman, how do YOU know he isn't gonna be the SAME WAY with YOU with some other past gf?

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  • Rose83
    13 years ago

    How old are you?! You sound like a child that hasn't ever been in a serious relationship! Look, I know your type, you want peoples suggestions but you in the end won't listen to a single one and you'll do what you want anyway.

    Regardless, here's my advice. Forget about your ex, if hes still flirting with you when he's in a relationship now, then he IS doing it with others. You broke up for a reason, you'll never change the man, move on completely.

    Next, you don't sound like you truely love the poor guy your with. In honesty, you do not have the maturity to be in a serious relationship at all at this moment. This leaves you with 2 options. Either you stay with the man your with and still mature with him, or, you must leave him. Either way, you need to grow up. You need to know who you are before being in a relationship with another person. If you don't know who you yourself are, or what you want out of life, you will NEVER be truely happy.

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    • bryson_willis
      12 years ago

      I was thinking about an appropriate classification for these kind of relationships, and yes the perfect word is immature.

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  • lewlew80
    13 years ago

    Um he ended the relationship with u b/c he was "super busy" but he now has another chick? Sounds suspect

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  • bryson_willis
    12 years ago

    the asker is obviously a young person. My advice is not to go on thinking that what your doing is okay at any age.
    Learn to be true to people and yes sometimes that means letting them go when your not into them.

    Plus this guy, is just as likely to mess you around. He's messing with you while going out with someone else... which begs me to ask - "what really caused you to split up in the first place".wait and have a real good thought about it.

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  • Pekingesia
    13 years ago

    I think that you should tell your ex boyfriend exactly how you feel.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      13 years ago

      Hi. This is rather weird, but a few days back, he asked me "Do you like me?" and so, I said "Of course I like you. You're a great friend. You're sweet, kind, understanding.." He then stopped me and said, "No, I mean, you know, like me." and so I said, "Oh, you mean as more than friends?" and he replied "Yeah"

      So I told him. I said I did like him as more than a friend and he said "I knew it.." so I said, "I'm sorry, I hope I didn't ruin anything" and then he asked, "Do you know why I asked?" I said no and then, he told me he liked me as more than a friend too.

      But he told me he was afraid that he would ruin my relationship with my boyfriend. He said he didn't want me to stop being with him and that if I love him, stay with him.

      So I asked him "Wouldn't it interfere with you and your girlfriend too?" and he said "Yeah, that too." - almost not as serious.

      But then, 2 days went by and he didn't call me. Why is this? He always calls...

      So, I'm extremely confused. Does he like me or not?

      -Sorry, had to update someone. I might just repost this as a new question.-

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  • animaguskid
    13 years ago

    That's quite a dilemma. It sounds to me like you may love your ex more or atleast he's the one that you feel more passionate about at the moment and that may be only because he's the one that seems unobtainable. The way he refers to his girlfriend seems important. For him to say he "HAS to see his girlfriend tomarrow" rather than "I wanted to see my girlfriend tomarrow" shows a certain reluctance. It might be that he still cares about you the way you do for him and he's showing you that in subtle ways. We don't know that for sure but at the very least I don't think he's completely invested in his current girlfriend. In any case I don't know if you can really figure out your emotions while you're with either man and it's really not fair to your current boyfriend since you can't move forward in a relationship with him while you're still thinking about your ex. I think you might consider distancing yourself from both men and just think about who you could most likely see yourself with later on. Which one would be the hardest to live without? I really feel like once you figure out which one you really care about the most and really believe that then it would be easier to let the other one go. You could just visit some family for a while or something as an excuse to leave town for a while or whatever you need to do to sort this out.

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    • bryson_willis
      12 years ago

      dilemma?! if you read the question she's clearly not torn between her current and her ex.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Your in love,I think you too should be together,forget your bf

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  • mousieroo
    13 years ago

    You're cheating on your boyfriend emotionally. How would you feel if you found out he was talking to his ex and said the same things about her?

    You need to make a choice. What you're doing is wrong for all parties involved, including yourself and his gf. It really sucks for you because it sounds like you never got closure from breaking up with him and you never got over him. But that was 6 years ago and you've got to stop living in the past.

    He's cheating on his girlfriend emotionally with you which makes you the other woman. Even if things were to work out between you guys how would you feel knowing that it started with you both cheatig?

    You need to decide what you want and if it's him, tell him. If he wants you too, great! If not then you need to cut contact and move on. What you're doing is wring and it's not healthy.

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  • Gidget
    13 years ago

    break it off with your current bf and go for it nothing is more important than love you could cut the ex out out of your life but that would be dumb you would still think of him constantly plus your current bf is being played so not cool be honest with him too good luck but GO FOR IT win him bk

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  • ruralfrights
    13 years ago

    Sorry again about the typos and misspellings. Was in a hurry

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  • ruralfrights
    13 years ago

    Your boyfriend HAS to feel the reprocutions of your spending so much time with your ex. Three hours a day, and with so many feelings, there's probably none of you left for your boyfriend.

    What is there to discuss/do during that length of time during which I think would bring your interests to surface (or the lack of, in his case). You get something out of it, obviously as your crazy about the guy, and he does as well, or he wouldn't be spending that kind of time with you

    I would try to "shuck it down to the cob" with him and find out in some way where you both stand. It's certainly not fair to your current bf or his gf for that matter. Move on and do do quickly

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  • JadedImage
    13 years ago

    This sounds like a normal teen or young adult problem. The current guy isn't as important and you are most likely bored of him and eyeing your ex who was more "special" to you. You always want what you can't have. Take this advice: Read the menu, but don't order the food ;)
    It's also unfair to your current guy.. Imagine being in his shoes. and be careful the other guy isn't using you.

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  • faisoly
    13 years ago

    your story is too long i didnt even read it but i advice you to go to a nightclub

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  • smciver2
    13 years ago

    It's normal but u have to realize he's w someone else and u can't have him

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  • sanchezjeliz
    13 years ago

    Cut him out of your life. It's not fair to your current boyfriend. How would you feel if you were him?

    Obviously the ex does not love or want you, or he would be with you now. Save the drama and get over him.

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