I need help iin

22 Comments

I need help, I've been stuck in a circle for around 3 years now, I have severe anxiety, it's affected every part of my life, I've lost friends and opportunities because of it, I was a volunteer youth worker at a brand new project and was approached by the manager with a proposition of a possible job, it was a great experience which cut about 5 years of my future plans but I lost it because I couldn't bring myself to leave the house on some days let alone a crowded building.
The situation my anxiety has put me in has led to depression, I tend to be getting less and less enjoyment from the things I like, I have trouble sleeping, then sleeping too much, i feel like I'm pretending to be a normal person and everyone is seeing through it because I never know how to react or where to look when people talk to me because i overanalyze eye contact etc and I feel incredibly uncomfortable being in public, I find it hard to just get out of bed in the mornings.
My anxiety makes me mess up small things, the bus I normally take raised its price by 50p and in front of a bus full of people my anxiety made me unable to properly count the change needed ( two twenties and a ten ) so I handed all my change to him, this has made me avoid applying for the majority of jobs I see like cashier/waiter jobs as I know I'm currently incapable of doing them.
I really want a job, because I'm unemployed I can't afford treatment for my anxiety, I'll only be able to find it after getting a job, which I can't do because of my anxiety. There are no free mental health clinical or similar things near me, my own attempts of beating it like exposure therapy aren't working as I'm feeling worse each day,
I also feel like my family feel like I'm not looking for a job which makes me constantly walk on egg shells, I understand this is fustraiting for some but I can't just " pull myself together " I feel like my anxiety is dominating my life.
Has anyone been in a similar position and overcome it or known someone who has, I feel like I'm at an all time low right now, I just want to get back to my normal confident self I just don't know how, does anyone have any advice?

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Comments ( 22 )
  • Shrunk
    9 years ago

    If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? I was like this until about age 21 or so, then I just stopped giving a fuck basically, sorry if that sounds harsh... but i realized it was holding me back from so much that i got tired of wasting my life and finally had the motivation to face my fears...

    i kind of separate myself from my actions in a way (nothing psycho) and pretend like I am someone else when I am out. no one in particular, just the me that i wish i was, if that makes sense. It is a lot of acting, without being too theatrical, and I'm not sure that's really a bad thing. after lots of practice in situations, start slow, it gets much easier. Now I talk to people just for the sake of practice.

    i did get help and I know a lot of people especially on this site seems to look down upon medication but it has helped me, mainly in the physiological symptoms (the fact that people could see that i was uncomfortable just made me even more so) I got a psychologist through university but to be honest it's just the kind of stuff you read in self help books and i dont really find it that helpful but who knows.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I'm 22 ( don't know why I'm writing anonymously haha )

      I planned to go to university, I was in college but had to look for a job instead of going on an access course to uni ( as you can tell its not going well ), but I guess a college psychologist would be a good idea after I return to college but I'm thinking it'd probably be a while away,

      I'm glad that happened for you :) unfortunately it was around 21 that my anxiety went next level, I'm hoping that one day I can just switch it off like it switched on, its a strange feeling, knowing you're a confident person but it feels like this....thing has just changed you temporarily into an anxious mess, I know its all mental and that I can get to the person I was, I know that people aren't looking at me and judging me ( and even if they are its only because I might be acting anxious ) I know that rationally, and that I should be able to just wake up and not give a fuck but the anxiety genuinely makes me feel it and makes me feel like I'll never not give a fuck

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  • reminiscent
    9 years ago

    Have you given any thought to professional help?

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    • Ellenna
      9 years ago

      H/she already said h/she can't afford it

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      • reminiscent
        9 years ago

        I read that... I know
        if you read everything I asked about disability... and asked about family helping out

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Yes but I can't afford it, if I could I'd do it tomorrow, well, I'd get anxious and put it off but eventually I'd do it haha

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      • reminiscent
        9 years ago

        If you have such a problem that you cant even work wouldnt you qualify for some sort of disability ... and then be able to reseave treatment?

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago

          You'd think so but no proving my anxiety has affected my daily life for at least 12 months is something that'd be incredibly hard to prove especially as I've technically got no proof and my family have no idea so it's not like they can vouch for me, I'm over 18, I have to pay for it, not to mention I don't like supermarkets let alone govorment builsings, even if I did try and push it I don't think it will come of anything

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          • reminiscent
            9 years ago

            Well I think you need help.
            maybe inform your family... you need to try and get some help.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              9 years ago

              For some reason I just can't, I can talk to my best mate about it but I've never had the kind of relationship with my family in which I can speak to them about things, as soon as they want to talk about emotions or anything like that I just want to drop it and move onto something else, sitting down with my family and telling them I'm depressed and have anxiety is literally the worst thing I can think of, I think you're right though, its technically probably the best thing to do but I just can't, no, that's the anxiety speaking, I'm going to have to aren't I?

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  • old_guy
    9 years ago

    I wonder if an event put you into this tail spin as sometimes rather like fixing the PC if you go back to before that event and reboot it fixes the problem are you male or female not that it makes a huge difference other than sometimes others treat it differently

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  • Arm0se
    9 years ago

    You should find a buddy and go places with them. If your with a friend to help you out it may not be that bad.

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  • chole
    9 years ago

    Where did your anxiety disorder develop from, how?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      How long have you got lol
      Short vesrsion
      I think my case is nature and nurture, I was probably born with a chemical Imbalance, I was always a melancholic kid bit i grew up with a mentally and very, very, very occasionally physically abusive father, but this only happened in later childhood/teenage years, I'd been melancholic from a very young age , I think my father led me to be anxious in some ways but generally I was very confident and loved meeting new people and trying new things, I started smoking weed a few years ago and then my at the time reletivley small anxiety grew, I stopped smoking a year ago

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      • chole
        9 years ago

        Start smoking again.

        Jokes.

        No, I really meant it a little. Some relaxing could be nice. Anyhow, I could go into the typical deep breaths, holistic yoga but try ear phones.

        Can't believe I'm suggesting this but you seem to have social anxiety, yes? If you wear ear phones without listening to music, you can achieve some level of isolation without it becoming dangerous. In effect, you won't be as keenly aware of everything around you and can hear yourself better.

        If you were at the bus with earphones, you would be able to hear the driver about the price raise and know people are behind you. Nevertheless, you wouldn't hear the people behind as clearly and you can make sense of yourself by talking in your head:

        "Okay, okay, 60 p, slowly, count..."

        Although it could be seen as rude, take it as a first step because maybe it will allow some comfort for you.

        This is not a long term solution and quite an out-of-nowhere idea I made up. However, perhaps you could gradually find ease and understanding of calming yourself down in public.

        I am not sure if you could rid yourself of anxiety but perhaps you could learn to control it by learning more about yourself.

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        • Ellenna
          9 years ago

          If by smoking h/she meant nicotine IT DOES NOT RELAX YOU! It's a stimulant, we're fooled into thinking it's a relaxant because we get tense when the addiction isn't being satisfied and then feel a bit less tense when we have a smoke. It actually INCREASES anxiety. Now weed, that's another matter, except most people mix it with tobacco and thereby partially negate the relaxant qualities.

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          • Anonymous Post Author
            9 years ago

            I meant weed

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago

          I'd love to start again but I stopped because not got me down, every time I had a joint I'd panic, I'd feel an impending sense that I'd done something wrong and was about to get told off, I'd feel really anxious and I'd get down, it was horrible, if weed used to affect me the way it used to ( I was a big time stoner ) I would still smoke it because I used to love it but towards the end it just made me feel horrible.

          I've never tried the headphone tip I'll give it a go, thanks :)

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          • chole
            9 years ago

            You're welcome but at your own risk.

            Reply to me sometime later about it, I'd be curious to know if it helps.

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