I need genuine help, poo problem

29% Normal
34 Comments

Not a troll post, i need serious help, its embarrasing

Basically at work, when i go for a poo, it's always a struggle

My poo's are massive, and 50% of the time they get stuck in the toilet and take 10 minutes of flushing and prodding to get down, a couple of times i have had to just leave the poo stuck in the toilet.

Is there a specail pooing technique so that my poo doesn't get stuck?

Not going is not an option, thanks

Voting Results
29% Normal
Based on 117 votes (34 yes)
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Comments ( 34 )
  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    Are you drinking lots of water it makes your poo moar sloshy and breaks it up better.

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    • BayVerlyHayles
      11 years ago

      "moar sloshy" BRILLIANT.

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  • dodongos
    11 years ago

    Whatever your diet is, tell me! I have contests with my dad, uncle, and sister to see who's poop is the most impressive, and I'd love a nice log right about now.

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    • Geneva5
      11 years ago

      I'll take you on in a massive log comp - I am usually up to around 4 foot turds with a 24 inch diameter - I mainly live on bacon -milk - potato mash - deep fried kebaps and brandy.

      Actually took a 45 kg shit after Christmas last year - have the pics to prove it too !

      Just installed a flush- able spa bath which can easily fit such large shits.

      Go massive turd Possee !

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      • BayVerlyHayles
        11 years ago

        I've got to see the pictures, I HAVE TO!

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        • Geneva5
          11 years ago

          They are pretty epic - a few magazines have offered me cash for them - but I sorta just like jerking off to the turd pics - not in it for the money - I even managed to clog the flushing spa last weekend - after eating 27 cans of no name dog food with ice cream just to win a $3 bet !!

          Email me and I'll send the pics thru.
          [email protected]

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      • dodongos
        11 years ago

        Oh god I can't breathe

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    • NicciSunset(:
      11 years ago

      sister????

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      • dodongos
        11 years ago

        Yeah, she's a real poop-fanatic.

        But somehow she manages to have lots of friends, and still be openly grotesque. :D

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    • noid
      11 years ago

      Eww.

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  • richardbturgid
    11 years ago

    Take an enema. before going to work lol.

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  • GoraIntoDesiGals
    11 years ago

    Loooooool @ massive poo. This post really cracked me up.

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  • Avant-Garde
    11 years ago

    What does your diet consist of?

    You need to drink lots of liquids and eat plenty of fiber. There is a possibility of getting too much fiber and unfortunately that can make a person constipated. Does caffeine make you go? If so drink coffee or tea and see if that helps. If there's no improvement, I suggest that you go to the doctor.

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  • dappled
    11 years ago

    Carry a small phial with a solution of sodium hydroxide. It'll dissolve that thing so completely, you may not even need to flush.

    Alternatively, very spicy food.

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  • wigsplitz
    11 years ago

    Upper deck it and let the next poor fool who goes in there deal with it.

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  • dirtybirdy
    11 years ago

    Take stool softeners or shit in a bucket outside.

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  • richardbturgid
    10 years ago

    Also eat 6 small meals a day.

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  • richardbturgid
    10 years ago

    ENEMA!!!

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  • Sssrrrhhh1991
    10 years ago

    It's just how ur body produces bowel, mine,is the same. I went to several doctors growing up and all of them said it's just something I have to deal with. My body is just this way and i'm female, and my son has the same issue and apparently so does my daughter, poor baby, and my older brother does too. my dad literally couldnt believe it came out of my bros ass, he made him go cut up the turd with a butter knife so he could flush it.

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  • Geneva5
    11 years ago

    Alternatively you could sculpt a life size Lady Gaga from the frozen turds and sell it on EBay -make some mad fukn bank and possibly get on TMZ or some gay shit like that.

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  • NicciSunset(:
    11 years ago

    just every time you poop at work put bring some of those heavy duty Zip-loc bags and put them in there. Store then in a chilled bag(so no one smells the "no no" you made) until you get off work and dispose of them in a nearby dumpster(:

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    • kitty911
      11 years ago

      Dude thats actually a good idea. haha just hope no one thinks its some frozen food.

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  • Avant-Garde
    11 years ago

    Oh, there's something else that may help. Eating active foods with cultures. The best examples are yogurt and there's a organic probiotic drink called, Good Belly, and it has over a billion active cultures in it.

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  • rogidez
    11 years ago

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.....thick as a man's neck when it comes out eh? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha - eat some fiber horse it'll sort you out - what do you prod it with, a broomstick? lmao....good luck

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  • pixie_dust
    11 years ago

    What are u eating??

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  • branmuffin9150
    11 years ago

    More water for sure! Change up your diet and eat less junk if you are eating it now. More veggies and high in fiber foods. Good luck.

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  • Jimbobasaur
    11 years ago

    If there is a technique then tell me!! :D

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  • Shy-Ann
    11 years ago

    Magnesium Citrate tastes awful!! I've had to drink it several times before some of my surgeries, it cleans out the bowels very very well, but the taste.....the best I can compare it to is sprite with LOTS of salt in it, YUCK!!

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  • cupcake_wants
    11 years ago

    What i do that always helps me be regular is make espresso (stove top espresso machines r cheapest) and use organic honey if possible and organic milk (i use 2%) and organic coffee.. it tastes really good.. so yummy. By using espresso u use more honey bcuz its stronger, plus its really yummy and helps regulate your bowels. Also try eating plenty of brown rice and lots of fruit, organic if possible and dandelion tea.. all these things will help! Oh.. organic almonds too.

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    • Ahiru
      11 years ago

      All that really results in is expensive organic poo that's still hard to flush not only because it's massive, but flushing all of that money down the drain.

      If all else fails- take a plastic disposable knife with you and cut it into smaller chunks. I can't believe I just suggested that...

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      • cupcake_wants
        11 years ago

        How would u know if it works? Did u try it? organic means that ur food is not laced with pesticides, which helps overall health. which will aid in the whole process of improving bowell function.

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        • Ahiru
          11 years ago

          Yeah, whatever. I know what organic means- it's really not worth all of the fuss and airtime and 150% price increase. Of course Cheetos will block you up more than some "organic" apple- but that apple is pretty much the same as any other apple coming out of your butt in the end. And if "yummy" is all that can be attributed to it (your words, twice, I might add), it's pointless, really. Espresso and coffee make your bowels move easily whether it's organic or not. Doesn't make your bowels less massive though, unless you're eating the equivalent of bird food (which you did suggest as well- could work, but it doesn't have to be organic for it to work.)

          I'm picking on you in a sense because all the poster asked for was a technique to get the logs to go down, not the cheerleading section's spiel on the organic wave and a whole dietary menu.

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  • Caryopteris
    11 years ago

    You would benefit from magnesium citrate and Miralax. For you, Metamucil will just make the problem worse.

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    11 years ago

    I drink a fair amount of water.

    And all i eat is Breakfast lunch and dinner, i don't snack

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