I made a new friend and now i regret it?

6 Comments

So, for most of my teen years and early adulthood,
I was always alone, the only company I had was my parents and my sister, and we all get along just fine. I would even say that my older sister is my only true friend, and her kids are nice too, when they aren't being whiney.

Anyway, I recently made a Facebook and this one girl I didn't know asked me to be friends, and thinking nothing of it, I accepted it. Soon, I found out that she lives near me, and knows my older sister. Okay, no problem.

However, she suddenly asked me to go swimming with her.
I thought that was a little fast, we've only been chatting for 2 days, but of course, I was too nice to object, so I agreed to it.

I've been struggling with anxiety since I was a teenager,
so I thought that maybe it would be a good thing to hang out with somebody other than my family.

When the day arrived to go swimming, me and my sister went and picked her up, but when we I first met her in real life, I soon discovered that she had problems. To put it bluntly, she was mentally retarded, and I'm just not saying this, she even said so herself.

I didn't know that, so that was a bit of a shock.
I have nothing against people with special needs, but I can't lie, she was...a bit annoying. She yelled a lot, and asked a lot of questions, sometimes asking the same question twice.

I know she can't help it, but still, I wished she would of warned me. After we went to the lake, she asked if she could stay over at my place, and when I politely told her it wouldn't be a good idea, she insisted to ask my mom.

When we went back home, she stayed over for the next 4-5 hours, not wanting to go back home. I couldn't take it anymore, I went back inside and laid down to go to sleep.
I felt exhausted, mentally drained and I honestly just wanted her to leave.

I know that sounds horrible, but it's the truth.
Honestly, if this had been anybody else, I probably would of felt the same way. It seems that I'm not cut out to have real life friends, I'm just not a social person, and it shows.

Of course, she stills think I'm her friend, and she's now asking me to hang out with her again this coming week and I DO NOT WANT TO. I want to be left alone, but it's not like I can just tell her to go away, so I'm stuck.

Am I a bad person for feeling like this?

TL;DR - I made a new friend and now I regret it, so I don't want to be friends with them anymore.

Yes, you're mean. 4
No, it's okay. 44
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Comments ( 6 )
  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago

    Oh girl, I am so sorry! I wouldn't make plans with her again. I think there might be a setting you can change so you don't have to deal with her so much without unfriending her directly.

    When you set a boundary or say no to her stick by your guns. Engage as little as possible and remember that you don't have to explain or rationalize your answers and feelings. Just because she has a learning disability doesn't mean she can't manipulate. You don't sound mean at all and you don't need to be mean. Just be firm, gentle but firm.

    I struggle with anxiety and depression myself. Recently I've started becoming more introverted so my heart goes out to you and I wish you all the best!

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    • shuggy-chan
      9 years ago

      introvert problems

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  • zoffix
    9 years ago

    I think you should not focus on her disability and just treat her like a normal person.

    Would you want to be friends with a loud and annoying person?

    If it's not to you, be honest about it. Explain to that person that you rather not meet in person again.

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  • knxbroad
    9 years ago

    Similar thing happened to me except the girl was mental she just had anger issues and she was very annoying. My friends and I were at lunch and so we saw she had come there to so we tried avoiding her so then she came to sit with us. We all told her how we felt so then she started crying. I thought she wasn't going to come back to us but she did. Later than week she moved

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  • Petrichor.
    9 years ago

    Huh? I think it's very weird that your sister knows her but didn't tell you about her being handicap before the two of you went to pick her up.

    You're not stuck, please don't feel like you are. Trust me. I had a few internet 'friends' before (and they weren't handicap) and even they were a pain to talk to. Part of it is because I'm shy and I don't like talking about myself much or getting to know people, but the biggest part was that they couldn't help me come out of my shell and they were too annoying and fake (I told them like it was, I'm happier now; we're no longer acquaintances). If anything they just pushed me further into believing that I wasn't designed to have a social life. So don't waste time maintaining a friendship that's not real. Hanging around out of guilt or pity is worse than just telling the person like it is.

    For someone with anxiety it's not good for you to be around someone who makes you uncomfortable, and for that reason you shouldn't force yourself to interact with her any more. I know you don't want to just say "no" to her because you feel like you have an obligation now, but politely decline her invitations to hang out. But what would be best is to explain your struggles with anxiety to her. Let her know that you can't be friends with her. The sooner the better. Be strong!

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  • theory816
    9 years ago

    Nah, your not bad. It take alot of work and effort having to deal with all of that.

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