I'm worried because it feels good.
A few years ago I got out of a very bad marriage. For almost a year I was in a very deep, dark depression (enter the sound of stringed instruments), during this time I had no sex (ouch). I came out of it and started dating again. The problem now is I am very impatient with women. The least little bit of conflict and I go off. I hit. And, because of past difficulties with my ex, I feel justified. Or, let me hurt you before you hurt me kind of thing. So far I have not inflicted any serious injuries to the 4 or 5 women I have slapped, threw on the floor, bounced against the side of my car, or straight-armed in the fore head. But I have come to enjoy doing these things after the rage in me subsides and I know I'll never see these women again. So far no cops. And the normal thing for me to do is get help. This confession sure does help. But what next?