I'm scared

Is it normal that I feel self conscious about my body?
I am a beautiful girl and my body is stunning, even if I have to say so myself. But I feel extremely awkward and self aware when I have sex. I like to be on top.
One time a guy told me that it looks like I have a double chin from his vantage point beneath me. I don't know what happened. I just completely lost it and started hitting him on the chest with my fists out of anger.
Then he died. The doctor said I hit him in between heartbeats and that it was a freak accident. I didn't mean to do it but he made me feel so angry.
I recently got out of prison; not because I killed him, but because I chopped his dick off after he died and I froze it. They never found the dick and he got buried dickless. I went to fetch my dick when I got home to have sex with it but I got a little too rough with it because it brought back angry memories.
The dick ended up impaling me and I nearly died due to bloodloss because doctors first thought I was just having my period.
The cops arrested the dick and it was locked away in a maximum security facility; doing hard time.
I started going to church and now I'm a changed woman.
I can never have kids but that's okay; I watch child porn anyway.