I'm pretty sure i don't want kids, is that okay?

86% Normal
10 Comments

I’m 21 and I’ve been married for almost two years. I’ve always known that my husband (age 23) wants kids… at least two. When we met I told him I was on the fence about it because the idea has never appealed to me. Lately I’ve started to realize that I’m almost positive I don’t want children. I’m not sure what that is going to do with my marriage. Telling him that I don’t want children will definitely complicate things. I want to be open about it with him but I don’t want to lose him either. I know it isn’t fair to keep this from him because I want him to be happy and have the life he’s always dreamed about. I doubt that I will change my mind and I don’t want to have children just because he does, that won’t make me happy. How do we compromise about something like this? We have two dogs but that isn’t even close to the same thing.

I start to wonder if it is even normal to not want kids. It seems like the correct societal way to think, especially when one is married, but it just isn’t in me.

Voting Results
86% Normal
Based on 71 votes (61 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • dappled
    13 years ago

    If you don't want kids, you don't want kids. It's as simple as that. It sounds like it is going to cause you some complications but the only way of dealing with anything like this is to be open and honest and to discuss it.

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  • xoxo29
    13 years ago

    Kids are not for everyone andvi applaude that u are pretty set in your decision so that way you don't bring a child into this world just because you want to please your husband. You may have resentment toward this child got the simple fact that u never wanted him/her. Talk to your husband before you get further into your marriage. It will be easier now for both of you to start over in new relationships if you were to break up (hopefully not!). Be honest with him. He's your husband and you owe him the truth! Good luck!! ;)

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  • beastie
    12 years ago

    It's becoming more and more the norm to NOT want them.
    Just as well as the earth becomes ever more over-populated.

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  • ComeFlyWithMe
    13 years ago

    I'm kind of on the fence like you were, but leaning more towards not wanting kids. I know a few people in their twenties that don't want kids. It's not the most common thing, but it's normal.

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  • GoraIntoDesiGals
    10 years ago

    Kids don't choose to be born. Never have one just to be happy or make a partner so.

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  • Regattare
    12 years ago

    There's absolutely nothing wrong with your not wanting kids. It does make it difficult if he is drawn to having them though. But do it to make your husband happy will quite possibly make you miserable. And maybe there are other avenues where he can get a kid fix.
    As for you wondering if you're abnormal for not wanting kids, check out www.babyoffboard.com for some great posts about being childfree.

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  • squirtle
    12 years ago

    kids are not for everyone. I do want kids, but I also think about how tied down I would be, and that I wouldn't be able to travel and just enjoy myself because all my time and energy will be invested into raising my kids =/

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    a little heart beats for you ,its small and insistant , oh it yours, thats so cute

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  • loopoo
    10 years ago

    Your body your choice. Do not let someone make you do something you don't want to do, it could make things worse, you could end up resenting your husband.

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  • hoping4best
    12 years ago

    May be you both could adopt a kid if its all about having one at home..

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