I'm not helping my life/self and its ruining my life

55% Normal

i do think about the things i want but i'm not doing it.mostly cause i'm scared to do good for my self like ima be treated badly why i fell like this i don't know why.

my mind tells me there's nothing wrong doing what's right no one can say anything bad about you once you do what's right but my feeeling my emotion's are scared of doing this, i think it's cause of my emotional abuse in my life i suffer from schizophrenia and social phobia.

i'm 26 and starting to think the best way is to die i been going through this for years.and really i'm still scared.i'm scared to socialize cause of bull in my past.

i have so much regret in my life and scared to do what's right.

i mean socializing is the major part of every human acomplishment's from getting a job to getting a mate.and if i cant do that then i'm better off dead i mean i am already dead inside.

i have become closed minded cause of feelings are to much to bare.

i have problems expressing my self cause when i use to i felt like i been abused over and over so i just became silent and convence there's no hope even when good things come my way i ignore them and leave them so i don't have to deal with getting hurt.

my emotions are so severe and damanged.

i said enough.even tho i want to say more.a lot more

Voting Results

55% Normal

Based on 11 votes (6 yes)

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Comments ( 7 )

LAR23

9 years ago

Cheer up guy c:.. if you're still holding on enough to feel fear and reach out for help by posting on IIN you can't be that dead. I'm not saying my situation is as bad as yours, but I know how it feels to be emotionally abused and fall silent. I was depressed for a long time, but I had so many ambitions that one day I just stopped thinking and DID something. The first step takes freakin effort but after that everything slowly gets easier. It's not too late for you, and I don't think you have anything to lose at this point?
As for the socializing part, because of my past experiences with people I am utterly incompetent at talking and expressing myself. I experience pretty bad social anxiety and disassociation even speaking to my family. But once I started reaching out to people again it just worked out somehow? I just kind of stutter and push through it, though I'm pretty sure people interpret me as a drug addict, and somehow even get them to like me. If I can do it, you definitely can OP. Pro-tip, people respond well to honesty and it will feel better not to bottle things anymore.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  dude you sound just like me everything you said describe me your amazing.
  
  i even stutter and also incompetent at talking well and other things.but you just like me.you made me feel better thanks.
  
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NeuroNeptunian

9 years ago

See a counselor, go on Google and look for a local support group to join. "Social anxiety support groups (your area)", you'd be surprised at how many people are just like you.

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DoctorAngelDust

9 years ago

Hopelessness is a symptom of selfishness and inexperience. There are people worse off than you every day who are building lives out of nothing. The possibilities of life are limited to your willingness to achieve them.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  what you saying makes not sense at all how does hopeless have anything to selfishness and inexperience.
  
  the reason why people build there life is cause they have hope and hopes is people that don't give up and know they have the striengt to achieve what they want.
  
  the reason why i feel hopless is cause i lost the will to live i dont care about good are bad anymore and i feel numb and lost and confuse and so everything my mind is running fast like a train.
  
  and for your info i'm far from selfishness and inexperience have you had sex with a virgin i have have you save a person life i have.i save two people life.
  
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  - DoctorAngelDust
    
    9 years ago
    
    Selfish people CAN do good deeds, although having sex with a virgin is not exactly a good deed.
    
    I have saved countless lives. I have found homes for countless homeless individuals. I have delivered babies to drug addicts and found homes for dozens of children. I have also led dozens of people to their deaths. Your actions of selflessness don't change who you are.
    
    You can wallow in helplessness and self pity until you die, but there are people out there sleeping on the streets tonight who are working their asses off to make a better life for themselves. It's sink or swim in this world and the world doesn't care that you are hurting on the inside, you'd better keep swimming or you're going to sink.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      yes that is so true all of what you said is so true and thank you.
      
      but hey it my life if i sink let it be on my terms if i wallow in my helplessness and self pity let it be me, better me then someone else.
      
      and yes others are sleeping on the street i meet many of them and its sad.
      
      i'm not doing anything to hurt anyone i'm not ruining lives are making one's life worse so i really don't mind dieing are at lease leaving this world was never men't for me i have a better heart then that fuck life and everyone selfish in it i'm gonna die either way so i really don't care so is the people trying to live gonna die what matter's is what we left behind.
      
      its my life i can do wat ever i want with it oh well
      if i do die i hope to god i don't come back.
      
      but i wanna know why you reply to me really why did you.
      
      all we are is a memory.
      
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I'm not helping my life/self and its ruining my life