Ask Your Question today
I haven't spoken to her in almost five years now and I still don't feel the need to do so.
There is many reasons why I won't speak to her but to put it simply everytime I saw her I got angry deep down inside.
Honestly I feel better for it and don't regret it and will continue to never speak to her or see her again.
Is this normal?
It happens. I haven't spoken to my father in over 10 years, because he's a piece of shit.
I suffered in silence for years as a child because of my Mother. When I was able to leave home, the estrangement felt healthy. When she finally died, I felt a deep sense of relief.
Yeah. You don’t HAVE to be close to your ‘family’ I can’t stand any of my family except my mum and my older brother lol. The rest can die for all I care. You’re Normal, you’re allowed to not like or want to associate with them regardless of what their relation to you is
It depends.
If you're mother was abusive, and neglectful then your desire to estrange yourself from her is understandable.
I mean the only reason you gave us was "everytime I saw her I got angry deep down inside", to me it largely depends on how guilty she is in causing that anger and whether her actions were done maliciously or ignorantly but still out of love. i personally think even with SOME abusive parents , it can be cool when the kid later on in life becomes the peace maker and helps build a new bridge and hopefully in some cases inspires the parents to want to pursue that relationship too. But ya i mean to me it seems as though knowing the history would be the only way to know who the asshole is , you or her.
I don't talk to any family which only consisted of my father and brother. I don't plan to ever again. It's not "normal" but it's totally ok in abusive or even just intolerable situations.
I have systematically cut ties with pretty much everyone I've known. I now live devoid of any meaningful relationships with anyone. As such I've spent a lot of time alone and things I once saw as a problem created by someone else I now see as a problem I could have learned from or done better in in some capacity.
I tried reconnecting with my dad but that's not working it seems. I want to try reconnecting with my mother and aunt and that family but I don't know how yet. I really only have one chance I feel and I don't want to goof by saying what's up after lying to get out of my cousin's wedding, something I realize now I would have loved to have been a part of.
This is really up to you OP, there is never a "right" or "normal" answer.
If you feel like you don't want any further contact with her for whatever she's done/not done then it doesn't matter much what others think, it's your decision. Just so long as you can live with it then it's ok.
There are a few members of my family that I have been told I should cut ties with because of how they have treated me. For the most part I have chosen to continue the relationships, and as such I continue to be negatively affected by them. I'm a big girl though and that's my choice, and I'm ok with it.
Do what feels right for you OP. No one else knows best for you.
I think this is more normal than people like to admit. I did not speak to some relatives for a year or so because of the way they dealed with a family situation of ours. I am not the one to severe family ties, so I made an attempt to reconnect again. I think even though people don't change, the way you deal with them does change over time and it's important to give relatives another chance, especially if you could use their support or help in future.
Life is short to hold bitterness and grudges, and trust me, I know it's tough - some people you can't live with or talk at all with - they are so toxic. However, extending a hand of kindness can make all the difference.
It's normal. I have a lot of needy, thieving, deadbeat, drug addict cousins I don't even associate with anymore. Just because you share the same blood, doesn't mean you're obligated to see them.