I'm married and was having an emotional affair

I'm married and I was having problems with my wife and currently we live in different cities but somehow we have stable life and I visit her 2-3 times per month. We tried to solve things but finally we agree that it was a wrong selection.

I liked an ex-coworker since 2008 and in the same city I work (I left her company now) and we had been very close friends. We used to talk on phone for hours or hangout. From 2 years I told her I love her and she kept my friendship and she was having that feeling too. She got married on papers only (no wedding)last year and after few months she got many problems with her husband. We used to hang out occasionally. Since then she asked for a divorce (and that stayed for almost a year). We used to flirt a lot, I kissed her hands, she used to touch me romantically and we both in a situation than we love each other and we didn't have sex as she still virgin. Our culture is banning sex before marriage. Early this year (2014) she was promoted in her job and she had many responsibilities and she was very busy although she always text me and sometimes we hangout but due to her unstable relationship, she changed a lot and confessed to me that she became more tough and asked me not to feel bad about that. From 2 weeks she was having an annual vacation for 2 weeks and she asked me to meet but we couldn't make it. Last week, when I was texting her asking about how she is doing in life , she told me that she took a decision to return back to her husband (she is 31 years old) as he changed a lot (he is abusive by the way and they used to quarrel a lot due to his bad as well as his family behavior). She de-activated her FB. She is virgo and have the style of on/off relationship i.e. disappear and reappear. She now updates her whatsapp status every now and with songs we both love (of course this is childish) but it happened.

I know I should have moved on since she got married but I couldn't. My question is I don't understand what she is doing this and I'm willingly to ignore her texts/contacts for a while if any. I want your opinions/explanations/suggestions as I feel I had been abused badly???!!!