I'm losing my mind? normal?

21% Normal
4 Comments

Fiance all of a sudden disappeared. We thought he was kidnapped or something but he texted his mum and she found him at a hotel about 20 mins away. She said he's not right mentally she found him with lots of alcohol all in his bed and toilet paper all in his bed possibly used from crying because she said his face was bright red and he was shaking.

She told me he doesn't want to be married at all that he doesn't want to talk to me and it's better this way but huh it's killing me... She got him to go home to her and I went over sat on the bed he was just sat there staring at the ceiling no expression said just go please go I want to be alone forever I can't get married I feel nothing I tried alcohol I still felt nothing I am a hollow man..i can't go to the wedding a hollow man who doesn't even love himself and he sobbed. I held him and he sobbed more.

After this I left and I tried to call him he won't answer. It's been weeks. Now I'm stalking him on social media because I think he's not answering me because he must be with someone and made up a scenario in my head of who it is and why.

Is it normal

Voting Results
21% Normal
Based on 14 votes (3 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • Bratsie
    5 years ago

    Dang that last comment was a little to harsh. Don't ya think? She was his fiance, she obviously loves him. I would be hurt, and confused too but it sounds to me like he has some personal issues going on and until he gets help your just gonna have to let him go. I myself feel like a piece of shit also because I lost custody of my son. My heart. My pride and joy. I get in relationships that are doomed for disaster because I don't like myself. At least he was honest. I know it hurts but you can't stalk him it won't help. I'm sorry your heart is broken but you have a good heart you will love again. Pray for him. I will pray for you. Your not alone.

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  • Boojum
    5 years ago

    His mother describes in some detail evidence of him being in some sort of mental/emotional crisis and you see this yourself, but then you conclude that he's just messing around with someone else.

    From what you say, I don't think either of you are sufficiently emotionally mature and stable to be able to make a marriage work.

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  • KiwiWisdom
    5 years ago

    Don't make stuff up, it sets a false expectation. The situation obviously isn't normal, but not being able to love yourself is actually a valid reason to not get married. Just based on what I read here is what it sounds like: He thinks it's unfair to you as the fiance to not fully be able to commit to you. It's sincerely not about you or whether he loves you, it's about him not loving himself and realizing it would hurt you both long term.

    Now just drinking, giving up and saying he's hollow isn't a particularly good idea. It's like a little kid saying they're bad over and over because they feel bad and because someone told them once they were bad if they act this way. My best guess is he honestly just sounds super ashamed and embarrassed and it all just snowballed to some kind of conclusion he wasn't worthy or ready to get married. That's the devil of self worth though, you don't have it till you stop pissing on yourself and telling yourself you're hollow.

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  • RoseIsabella
    5 years ago

    Oh my God! Just please leave him the fuck alone! He's obviously feeling very trapped. Stop stalking him.

    I don't know if he has mental health problems or not, because it seems like you won't leave him alone, and he is probably feeling smothered. He's not obliged to marry you, so leave poor guy alone. For the love of God just let him be!

    If you just can't get over the breakup then please seek out professional help for yourself. If you want to help him then just pray for him, but please don't bother him. He's obviously not your fiancé anymore.

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