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I want someone to talk to is similar to me, who can relate to me and who I can relate to. Whenever I talk to people, that never seems to be the case. I know, it might be partly my fault. Is this normal?
I feel the exact same way. I feel like i can't relate to others. It is mostly my fault though, I tend to drive other people away.
I think it is very normal to want someone to relate to. Everyone wants to be understood. You can talk to me:)
Haha thank you, i'm a driver awayer too. Sure, i'll talk with you. Not sure how though unless you're constantly in the chatroom (which no-one seems to use.)
If I do start to talk, don't be surprised if I suddenly go away again for a long period of time. I tend to do that for some reason.
I feel the same way. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person in the world that's like me and I'll never find that special friend.
i think maybe u r an idealist. u expect to find the perfect friends who u fit with like a hand in a glove. when they dont fit your expections in some way, you feel let down. oh no-thats me i'm thinking of.but maybe u r like that, too.
with my few friends, i just try to enjoy the things we have in common. but when they get on my nerves, or i get on theirs, i just try to get some distance for a while. i dont like everybody consistently. but with most ppl, i hit some spot in the relationship where we have totally different opinions on something impotant to me, and then i have to decide whether it is worth continuing the friendship.
I don't mean that only because my mother died I am prone more to selfish behaviour, its always been there. But straw after straw..and it has never been the last one. You have "friends", people that want you, I have been cursed from birth. I actually struggled for the majority opf my life, including going into stress in my moms womb, and having to be cut out. I am surrounded by idiots, and am always tested..I don't know what would happen if I let my evil anger out. I wouldn't feel guilty, hurting anyone. I wasn't always like this, but if you see nothing but evil, and are continuously exposed to the worst in human nature, without a break, when you feel your species has turned against you, and have a mostly unbroken line of bad luck and discomfort..stress, anger, pain..if my conscience is dying..that isn't my fault. I see no wrong in hurting anyone..doing evil. Why would I? Who isn't evil and selfish? Wow..I think it was needed, maybe the universe is looking out for me. I came in an unsuspecting innocent..and have developed into something else. I still have good, but now realise, I am the hero after all. Refer to philosophical works on tragedy, drama, to get an idea of what I mean. Humans are just animals..tragedy romanticises human foolishness..even the tragic hero archetype, like me. Love does exist, for some people, like you, but all that warm cuddly shit, isn't in my "genre" of life, if you know what I mean. remember this, you are not alone, and you are loved. I'm the black sheep, the little wooden boy, the odd one out, the abandoned polar bear cub. My life is way, WAY worse than yours could ever be. My life is about power and power games..pure power games..not even any love someone has for me could change that. I am like Heracles(Hercules), always labouring, never getting rest. I just want rest.. Power is my last aim, my last choice, I always just wanted pure love.. My mother kind of provided that at least, now even she is dead. I-AM-LONELY...
i know what your life is like. by that i don't mean i've felt it before, and i know i never will. but listen, and listen hard, ok, not all is bad in the world, don't roll your eyes or drown me out not all is bad in the world and i am proof. i am good, not perfect, but good. and you are good, but i'm going to teach you something important, ok? good is not that of whome does good, or has a good life. a good person is somebody who knows what good is. and your wrong when you say no persons love could change you. love alone is everything you need, not all you need, but everything will require at least love. start by loving yourself. now let me tell you a story…
my father's mom killed herself when he was eight, and his dad died when he was 16, then his grandma at 17. he was on the streets then. but lets go back to when his dadwas still alive. his dad waas an alcaholic and constantly brought in wimen after his mother passed away. he was also obese, and never had a friend his whole life. his dads girlfirend had kids that hated him. and i truly mean hate…. he has the scarres to prove it. anyways, when he was on the streats, he was getting in trouble with the law. today, he admits that back then, he wass capable of commiting any withought caring, because of all the hate he had in his heart. there was nothing for him. he felt no differently than you did. but then he saw my mother. i'm not joking, when i say that the turning point of his life was when he looked at my mother.
And the only reason I want power is because..I'm so lonely. In truth, all I want is for my mother to be alive again. I'm not the type that would live at home or was very close to his mother, but, at least her love was real, and unconditional, and she believed in me and supported my goals. Money and power is all I have to reach for, and with my mother dead, I can do alot more without feeling shame..anything that others would consider evil. No matter what I may have said to her, I think she may have been a moral compass, now I am focused on selfishness.
And Cleopatra. In fact, I think the only female partner that wouldn't sicken me would be a strong confident woman, with power, who I could consider an equal to my greatness. A Hera to my Zeus, a Juno to my Jupiter, etc. My fantasy is to rise to power and bang princesses the world over, no royal is above me, I am above them all! Now, these are the words of a narcissist with ever encroaching megalomania, but, I say they are true nonetheless XD
Strong, powerful woman and self-confessed narcissist with ever encroaching megalomania, both trying to do their fair share in history or thereabouts - my, I bet that would be a volatile mix xD
What I mean is that a malignant narcissist and another possibly narcissistic powerful woman(I myself would be powerful, obviously) that would play the Cleopatra to my Julius Caesar and combine that with the idea that narcissism may in fact, be hereditary, then alot would go awry, there lol
Awry? Hahaha wouldn't that be interesting.
And instead of making a choice between love and power, you'd just settle for both. Nice plan if it does work out that way. How's rising to power coming along so far?
Still a student, joined a political party, and just biding my time. Being realistic it will take me more than three decades. I amn't sure if I want to go into business or not yet, that would help satisfy my greed. I have been talking about, and getting support, for being elected as the "Mayor of Dublin" after I am finished with my studies at third level. In 2011, a directly elected Mayor with actual power, is going to be provided for, not the same thing as the "Lord Mayor of Dublin" who acts as a Chairman for Dublin City Council, a ceremonial role, but a new office for all of County Dublin. I am working on image now. You like Celtic Mythology? I am modelling myself on characters like Cu Chualainn and his father, the Sun and Lightning God: Lugh, who is a variant of the Pan-Celtic God Lugos/Lugus. My family is also one of many said to be of the great Irish Warlord Niall of the Nine Hostages(he kidnapped royals from various places to gain power) so I plan on using that, especially since it is on both my paternal and maternal side(don't worry, he is more than a millenium and a few centuries dead, millions of people are distant relatives via him). I am also comparing myself to Julius Caesar, and Napoleon Bonaparte, and of course, Brian Boru and Michael Collins, while also being my own man XD
Yeah, and our kids would never have a chance of turning out normal, whatever that means lol
Lol and leave out what people like to do during sex. Or even sub and dom. That's just what people like or get off on.
And now it is over. She said she now has a boyfriend and he doesn't want her to talk to me, and that she doesn't want to talk to me, and she took my recommendation of unfriending me, I mean she actually did it, ahem. I was working on getting over her though, I am a lone wolf, and should just use women for sex, thats what they want. A nice guy can't get them off obviously, thats why men don't respect women, they are so damn "sub" lol. Not all women, hopefully, but playing the tough guy and keeping my distance has worked, my bad crush is over. Actually, here is the truth, men are the nice ones, women are bitches men are not bastards, some are, a lot of women are just plain selfish. Only eighteen years on this planet, and I know this, it has been etched into my soul..
Well ain't you charming LOL. Are you actively trying to provoke me?
Things aren't black and white in anything. As they all say, if only things were so simple. Come on, don't give up on people just yet. You should know better than to reduce things such as men are nice and women are slefish bitches, even when angry, which I assume you are. What things have given you this view?
And I am aware some men are bastards, remember I said women prefer bastards? But, I am developing misogynistic feelings about women. I mean come on, look at history. You ever hear about Nietzsche? Friedrich Nietzsche? He went mad from syphillis, and his sister made him look like an anti semite by taking words out of context, and cutting and pasting certain sentences together. He was against anti-semitism, he and Wagner(composer) fell out because Wagner was an anti-semite, his sister, she was the anti-semite. She is the epitome of female selfishness and stupidity. She never could comprehend the work of her genius brother, know how that feels.. So, can I ask, why do you think, that with my good looks, and they are good looks, that I shouldn't use that to my advantage to do all the things I want to do? Like, I have been entertaining the idea of doing engaged and even married women, just to prove their unloyal and weak natures. Is that twisted to you? Hope not. I am guessing you are an exception to this, I hope you are, because,I kind of want to be wrong..
It needs no explanation lol. I grew up around women, even my dogs are female. Three sisters, my dearly deceased mother and an extended family with a high number of women. Even my school seemed to have more girls than boys, and do you know what kind of guy they liked? The kind that say things "jokingly", like, "shut up or I'll get you drunk, spread your legs and fuck you", and say that in front of everyone and if ta girl is on her knees "while your down there", get what I mean? They were also fond of a guy who used to grab every girl he could, and even put his hand up their skirts. I could go on and on lol. And you know what the girl would say "oooh stop" *giggles, blushes*. And of course alot of women prefer to be talked to in a demeaning way during sex, even having their hair pulled, and being tied up. And did I mention my sisters? I guess you can say my point is solid. I am keeping this short, I have many more reasons, first hand experience. And your right, I was angry, it sounded a bit ranty reading it to yourself, right?
What the fuck? What kind of school did you go to? Only explanation I can give is that high school kids are a messed up breed that I've never understood well and maybe the stupidity of "popularity" and measuring everyone's value through primitive sexual posturing.
Oh and you can say that women tend to prefer bastards if you want, but you could also say that men tend to prefer women who are of lesser intelligence and are a little on the slutty side. But if you're going to generalize, at least keep it to the culture you know most about. See what I mean? Making these sorts of "observational" sweeping statements is useless. There are so many humans that it's inevitable that there will be a huge number of idiots. Loads of married women and men will cheat whether it be because they are unhappy or just want a naughty fuck. That's just the way it is.
Yeah, I've heard about Nietzsche. But seriously, what's this about exclusively female selfishness, stupidity and weakness? I thought that that was a human thing. Who are the outright good and pure and the outright dispicable? We all have what we deem good and bad within us as well as the potential to be either of those and anything inbetween at any given time. And that's what we do; we do both good and bad. I'm no exception to that.
So, why shouldn't you use your looks to sleep around? Okay, try it. If you succeed, it still won't mean anything. It'll just mean that you've fucked someone.
And its not exclusively female stupidity and selfishness. Just the particular brand of stupidity and selfishness that females express. Again, I know there are exceptions. Joan of Arc I admire, of course, so, it isn't JUST the female thing, it is the kind of females I have come across..
Oh, so there's a particular brand of stupidity now - female? LOL :P
I would say that individuals such as Joan of Arc are exceptions to all of us. So, females can either be exceptional figures of widespread admiration or vacuous brats?
Right. Well I obviously fit into the latter xD
No no, I understand. It's easy to have the view you have, especially since this idea of "femaleness" is cultivated with much enthusiasm. In fact, I harboured a similar outlook myself when I was younger all due to what I had come across. Hey, maybe your fantasy of banging princesses the world over isn't such a bad idea since then you'd have a wider experience of the female population haha!!
AND proved a point. Okay..I am a bit of a sexist, but the women I have been exposed to made it inevitable that I would turn out this way. I know, big world, you make sense, but I just got dealt the wrong hand in life-it would be great to get a straight ace, right? XD
If a girl says she finds you attractive, but also says she doesn't have feelings for you, but refuses to lose contact with you, what the hell does that mean? Room for steady progress? She has feelings deep down? How did she develop this connection to me? I honestly thought everything had crashed and burned, but, she is too reluctant to lose contact. She mentioned our distance more than once, and said she had to go when we were chatting via instant message and I asked her what is her type, this was after she said I wasn't her type. I noticed, that she prefers when people keep their distance, she contacts them first. In short why are women psycho? :P
Actually, the relationship has crashed and burned, we are both done with this, or at least I said we are done with this.. It will even further weather down my heart, my good side I guess, since I am always on a single path to a type of darkness. I am naturally good, a rare thing? But yeah, I am, and this life I have led has still not completely hardened my heart, I still care after all. I just wonder what it is going to be that strips away my natural purity, what finally corrupts me, what will make me bare my fangs and let my dark side have full reign, hm.. I still have years of pain, something very fucked up would have to happen to turn me completely..
I'm sorry to hear it. But then, you did say you were done with it before. What happened?
Why are you so sure that you can only go one way or the other? It doesn't have to be a certain way. It seems to me as though you are writing some kind of prophecy for yourself that must be fulfilled. People aren't simply pawns always at the mercy of what happens to them. Fucked up stuff happens to people every day, but somehow, not all of them get fucked up. It doesn't determine who you will be - no, you are still you to choose how you will react.
Writing a prophecy for myself? No, I just notice my hatred for humanity growing and am on the path to being poweful, or just wealthy enough, to make that a problem for lower class people. Now, I come from a working class family, but see myself as rising above that backround. The way I see it, if I can make it, then being disadvantaged means shit. These losers who do drugs, and sell drugs and become gangsters are just stupid and need to be eradicated, I don't care about human rights, I care about protecting the peace. As you can imagine, I am quite Machiavellian, you don't have to think like me, I just get it :P
Okay, still sounds like a self-fulfilling prophecy to me :P
Anyway, she probably liked having someone to talk to on the internet but didn't want to commit to anything because of the distance and whatever else. And now she's got a boyfriend that she can actually see. This is something that always happens. I guess people just "get on" with their lives and move on. Yep, best thing is to just forget about it.
We are fine now, I think we are developing a relationship, she added me on Windows Live and we communicate by instant chat now. I am sometimes vexed by her though. She asked what height I am, I said just about 5"10/5"11, or something like that(need to measure properly) and she said both of her older brothers are over 6". Like one is apparently 6"3 and another 6"5. Why do women play these games, and compare men? It pisses us off! I mean being of athletic build isn't enough, now to impress her I have to be a giant, what am I going do have to do? Wear lifts? lol
#To be everything and nothing at all.. Thanks for that, it probably spoke to me in a different way, not sure, but thankyou, honestly, good song, a but one track, but still good, melancholy yet hopeful really, a kind of relaxed will to power in my opinion..
PF, we worked things out, we decided to just be friends. She said she is attracted to me but doesn't see that as a reason to lie about having feelings for me, and she is right in that sense. I did just meet her online, we can see were this goes. Some people on this think she is fake, but, she isn't looking for a reason to meet me, so, why would she want to kill me or con me out of money, these are just some of the things I have read on my story :/. I know as a matter of fact that she is who she says she is, nothing suspicious about her, simply not interested, really interested in the political party PLaid Cymru that is fighting for Welsh independence, but beyond that she just does her own thing. I have seen her pics and she is on more than one website, I will ask her to talk to me on a webcam just to sort the matter though lol. I have already talked to her via mobile and she just says she likes me, but is not that interested in starting a long distance relationship with someone she doesn't know well enough to have feelings for. I am trapped in "The Friend Zone" for now :/
Doesn't seem fake to me either, even though I'm just going from what you're saying. It'd have to be a very determined and strange person to create a persona and make all of those profiles just to make friends with people they meet online. Oh, and to not exploit the fact that she is a girl or even "a girl." I'm sure you're smart enough to know all of this for yourself :P
It's understandable that she doesn't want to be more than friends. How long have you known her now? Maybe this is for the best, for now at least. Later on, you might even be glad that you're no more than friends because it becomes clear that it wouldn't have worked out, or things have changed blah blah. Her feelings _might_ change, but she seems quite certain of herself. Anyway, just wait till you've spoken on webcam, there's still that.
*Lol! Angry baboon* not judging seeing as I've been there, done that. No-one would ever guess it of me, but I also go nuts over things like that. Got sooo angry and depressed and elated over what? Some person that I'd not even met or talked to face to face.
And yes, it feels good when you get the "power" back and they show interest in you again and you are the first to say "I need to go now, bye" instead of the other way round or when they seek you out. But I didn't abuse it when things were that way, I just felt secure.
What do you mean by they turn into "super bitch?" What's happened to make you think that?
You can try staying casual friends with her, but with all the jealousy and feelings it'll be, well, almost impossible or very hard for the moment. I couldn't do it and just jumped ship. Abandoned the whole thing and left them confused and worried. I feel like such a fuck up because of that, but it seems that I'm just not very good at relationships of any kind. Looking back, it was like I was doing it to preserve my sanity. A defence mechanism of some kind.
Don't worry, it happens. I am unflappable in that way, I have seen what happens, been there, done that, blah blah blah, I feel like I am a character in a satire sometimes lol. Though yeah, I have these feelings for her and find her environmentalist and non power hungry nature just adorable. I even feel up to abandoning my bid to become the most powerful man in the world(lets see where the EU goes lol) just to make her happy, butm she has seen through me somehow.. I never once said anything about taking over the world but she was bright enough to figure out my ambitions do to my references to Julius Caesar and Alexander the Great. I don't actually think it is possible to take over the world though, I know hegemony(like the USA, and now China) is the best I could hope for, if I am, indeed, ever the one in control of such a hyperpower :/
Lets chat sometime on this by the way. But we can only communicate via comment on this thing, right? Don't worry, we both know were we went wrong in the socializing thing. Lets keep it simple :).
Holy shit, I am really crushing on this girl :(. Everytime I see her profile photo and she is interacting with other people I feel sick and just so sad :(. I know this is only a crush and I am being waaaaay too sensitive, but, it hurts :(. I wish I never met her. She called like a siren and led me to my doom..
Yeah, the spilling guts thing, that is a real turn off for women, and I made that mistake. I know women prefer men to be aloof, which I can admire since it shows an enthusiasm us guys who only think with our dicks a lot of the time don't have. And it is also amusing to chase after that elusive woman, but also heart wrenching, because, men can feel too. Don't worry about being alone, there are so many, including me, who feel the same way, so ironically, we are not really alone. We are like electrons passing by each other, solitary, but still together in an extremely distant way. I still think that my life can go in two ways. One way is me filling the void by picking up random skanks, slappers, sluts, whores and drinking, a lot. The other way would me to(if only) find a woman to develop a serious relationship with who can "save me from myself" and start a family and live happily ever after.. But, life is not like the fairy tales that end happily ever after, like the animated disney movies, and maybe, just maybe, they are partly responsible for our age of depression, along with sites like this, and social networking. If it offers you any comfort I have read "Marcus Aurelius" Meditations and according to his stoic philosophy, the most unhappy are the most virtuous. Did you ever see the French movie "Amelie" about a lonely young woman living in Paris? Well something in that movie stuck with me; the fact that she was able to enjoy the little things like popping the surface of Creme Brulee, running her fingers through seeds, etc. Anything that makes you happy, please treasure it. If nothing makes you "happy", focus on those things that bring you pleasure and make time for them, as you do with reading and writing, There I go again, my need to help people(rolls eyes at self), see, there are some "good" people, that must bring some happiness..
"I know women prefer men to be aloof" - I wouldn't be so quick to say so. Being aloof or not is just one small thing and doesn't make a difference to who you actually are, which is what counts in relationships with people. Besides, everyone is different and attracted to different things.
Not to mention to spilling your guts is generally a bit off-putting, no matter who you are. I think it's more a matter of knowing your boundaries. It doesn't have to be an either/or situation. I might be spewing this crap, but I live the either aloof/or spilling guts sort of life, so who am I to talk :)
Personally, I don't think that I would like it if someone was emotionally reserved with me. I can be that way myself and I don't think that I would be able to stand myself.
Ah don't we all just want to be saved..but why do we always have to look elsewhere for it? Why this person or this friend or whoever? Why not ourselves? It is a nice thought and so easy to imagine, I suppose, but then relationships go wrong, people change, voids go unfilled. I highly doubt that there are only two paths that you can take, after all, things are never that simple, unless you want them to be.
"But, life is not like the fairy tales that end happily ever after, like the animated disney movies, and maybe, just maybe, they are partly responsible for our age of depression, along with sites like this, and social networking" - lol no, I don't think so. Though they may be symptoms of it.
I have heard much about Amelie, never gotten round to seeing it, but I agree completely that those things that make you happy, no matter how small, should be treasured. Thank you :)
The most unhappy are the most virtuous? I don't see how and I don't feel all that virtuous either but what the hell :P I'm sure many others are much further down the pit of despair than I also, so I can have no claim to either title.
Yeah, maybe I should leave this girl as a casual friend :/. I actually have feelings for her, sad right? I can also go into jealous rages. The guy she is talking to is from the same city as myself, interested in photography, etc. He has no pic of himself uploaded..good thing too, I can't trust myself when I feel this possesive, I feel very animalistic, and, now don't judge, have even screamed at my screen like an angry baboon.. I commented, saying I am over her, but, I recently gained back the balance of power by renewing her interest and being the first to say I have to log off to sleep. I feel my respect for women draining, and, even feel up to the role of establishing myself as the dominant force in whatever relationship I may enter into. Women NEED men to take the reigns, otherwise they turn into "Super Bitch" lol, sad, but I say this from observation, trying to forget it, it now happens to be a fact burned into my mind...
I'm feeling particularly lonely today. Great way to start off the beginning of a new year huh?
I'm listening to music on my headphones as usual and it was so beautiful that it gave me a feeling that I can't explain. Somehow, it just made my loneliness worse. Not sure what this has to do with anything.
Anyway, it got me thinking about my little problem. Why do I feel this way? There are people out there with no-one. Absolutely no-one. I, on the other hand, have my family and a few people who I rarely talk to, but who are still my friends (I hope.) However, no matter how many times I hug my family, I feel the loneliness eating me up.
I've also noticed that I have this problem with forming and maintaining relationships with others. For example, I've made friends with people over the internet. I was happy for a while. I didn't feel lonely! That was a great time. Fun memories. I sound so fucking sad. Then, as soon as people wanted to get closer to me, I don't know what it is - I just had to push everyone away. WHY? I know why. It's on another story I wrote on here. I'm scared that I'll be like this for my entire life. I don't know how to get rid of this.
I still remember when I made friends with those people. It was all so exciting and fun. That stuff never lasts. After it had finished, I tried making internet buddies again, but I just couldn't make it go anywhere. I was bored and unfulfilled. Enough of that for me now.
This is something that I'm going to have to figure out somehow.
Hi PF :). I recently had to fuck with a guy, telling him I am getting married when he slagged off my story about my ever encroaching megalomania, just thought that would be funny lol. I know how you feel :(. I was on Twitter, I responded to a tweet from someone asking if anyone wanted to chat, she(didn't even know it was a girl because I am not familiar with Welsh names. I in fact found a number of guys with her name, but also women, but I found her full name and added her) asked me to add her on facebook, right? Everything seemed good and we were getting along, bur, since I can be a bit clueless at times and am usually alone I chatted with her way too much and after a while she got bored, never even writing on my wall because she was just not interested in contacting me, So the dynamic ended up with me messaging her, and her replying, but her never messaging me and even taking hours to reply to a message while talking to someone else via status comment or wall to wall :/. And since she is just one year younger than me I ended up developing an online crush and am now feeling jealous and lonely because the dynamic could have wenr the way it is going with the guy SHE is contacting while ignoring me. So, I know how you are feeling. But, I also have aspergers(obviously only a touch but still) so being on the autistic spectrum means I can't relate to anyone, and even those who complain about being lonely or not being wanted, or understood, or being thought of as "weird" also reject me, so, you are not alone and therefore not lonely, I am..
Yeah, that's why trying to establish relationships with others over the internet has a huge potential to make people feel shitty, especially if you aren't too good with relationships to begin with. It may be easier to meet and contact others, but because of that, the ease of rejecting and of receiving rejection is also higher.
You could end up having a conversation with people you wouldn't normally even consider trying to talk to in real life. It might even seem like it's going well. But then later on, it just doesn't work out.
I realise that this sounds exactly like "real life" anyway. Well, that just goes to show that the same rules apply everywhere.
So...that's why I've lost much of my enthusiasm for letting anyone know me now. I don't mind getting to know other people, but making it a two way thing is such a chore. I know the age old advice of not giving up and giving in to "the fear" but I'm just tired. As I said up there, it's left me bored and unfulfilled. I groan now whenever someone asks for my email to chat, because I'll already be thinking "oh here goes another one. How can this end cleanly and with the least amount of crap possible?"
Am I that jaded already? Haha I don't know what it is with me.
Don't worry about being clueless. I have been very clueless at times too, since I sometimes get these urges to spill my guts to someone else in a message or email in the hope that they'll help pick through them with me. Of course, that tends to scare people away. Or rather, tended, since I'm not doing that any time soon anymore.
Yup, been through the online crush thing and I blew it in a spectacular fashion with the above method combined with my exceptional avoiding and isolating skills.
Am I alone? As much as I'd like to think that I fit into some kind of "weird, misunderstood, lonely" club, I also have trouble connecting. That's it - I don't have trouble relating (I don't think), it's the vague area of connecting with people that causes me trouble.
Anyway, this is something I take to heart
"We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone."
That's how I think of it. We're all separate worlds and no matter what we do, we'll always be separate. I envy those people who can get close enough to feel like they're not alone any more. Every person is an island and yet, we all influence each other and need each other.
Sorry, my online, late night rambling seems to have been set off :P This is my bitter, depressive self for everyone to see. Partly.
I know how you feel
It will be nice to talk together
Im like you, 18, social anxiety problem.
Give me an answer if u wanna talk.
Nice in theory, but let me tell you some things about me:
-I'm boring
-I have attachment issues
-I'm not a good talker - even on the internet
-I'm probably not like you
-I'm boring
I guess I could give it a shot. Just make sure you don't expect anything okay? If you still want to go ahead, I applaud you, but advance with caution.
Its okay, sweetie, you may just be eccentric.
You have no problem.
The people that are mean to you have the problem.
They are no smart enough to understand you.
Same for me. I feel like the ultimate emotional pariah most of the time. I don't think you're to blame for it unless you're intentionally focusing on differences in the face of some new social oppurtunity or situation, maybe as a defense.
I sometimes feel like I'm to blame because I just can't seem to function socially in the "normal" way that most other people appear to have no trouble with doing. Social interaction and gaining new friends seems to come so naturally to other people and yet it all makes no sense to me! I'm not entirely lacking in social skills; I can do small talk just fine (very awkwardly is how it's usually done, right?), but fuck small talk. It's plain talking that I have a problem with.
Social contact is exhausting to me, but I still crave it. I've tried making internet friends and that worked - for a while. It got too exhausting and I couldn't take it anymore. How can I want something at the same time as pushing it away and hating it? If I had my way, I'd become a hermit with only my music to keep me company, but then I know that I'd loathe such an existence as well. I can't do anything that will make me happy and that's why it's my fault.
I feel the same way. I am only good at small talk. I only have a few real life friends. I'm going to be meeting an internet friend later this month and I feel happy about it. Maybe all you need is a good friend to talk to.
Wooh good luck! I hope you two hit it off face to face as well as you do on the internet.
Maybe that is all I need, but I'm not exactly the most interesting person to talk to *rolls eyes* hahaha. Right this second, I'm actually okay with how things are. I tend to get overwhelmed with people, so maybe this is ideal. I say "right this second" because I'm sure that it'll change yet again. For now, I'm doing pretty good.
"Social contact is exhausting to me, but I still crave it."
Totally know what you mean. I was talking about this with someone, and they told me that there are 2 types of people: 1) those who charge themselves by social interactions and 2) those who charge by being by themselves.
I still struggle with this ALL the time, I charge by being by myself. But you have to learn the balance, and realize that everything is relative. Know when you need to be social, and know when you just need to be by yourself. (Doesn't matter if it's right or wrong, you make it what it is) and when you've decided then be satisfied and content. That can be difficult. Ehh, I don't know if it all makes sense, but having a lot of exhausting social interactions in a social world is annoying. Maybe it's the wrong people your looking to?
Thanks :) That sort of makes sense. I'm glad I'm not just being strange xD
Sometimes, it can be good. Yesterday, I met up with some mates who had just come back from uni. I haven't seen some of them in absolutely ages, so I was worried at how people might have changed. To my surprise, everyone was exactly how I remembered them and it was actually a nice day even though we just hung out.
Granted, these were all the sort of people who I could talk to easier and relax more around and we weren't that big a group. We're all on that sort of wavelength, you know? And I've known these people for years... I find that generally, there is a certain type of personality that really drains me (since we're talking about it in those terms.) I'm not trying to be mean, but it's the louder, more domineering people that really take it out of me and make me retreat back into myself. I think I'm naturally more on the introverted side, so I have an easier ride with people of the same disposition. Although...sometimes, I can seem a bit more extroverted and sociable too because I'm weird like that.
Well you should also consider the fact that there is something fundamentally wrong with the human species, and take pleasure in being a social misfit, at least your not a stupid conformist. Write music or poetry, make a career out of it, you seem like an Arts person, possibly brilliant.
What would you say is fundementally wrong with the human species?
A career out of it you say...
Sure, I'm "possibly brilliant," but quite certainly not. I only do it because if I don't, I'd lose myself. I'll work at becoming better, but I'm not going to delude myself.
The social misfits who are more intelligent than the average person in some way and who has special talents do exist I'm sure, however I am not one of them, unfortunately. They tend to be quite a popular cliche of films and books and stories, but it's not always that way in real life.
So. I'll take as much pleasure in being socially rubbish as I can. I suppose it has helped to shape me into the person I am today and for that I'm Oh So Glad ;)
Okey dokey. So you think you need to be told whats wrong with the human species, huh? Right, this site is an example LOL. There you go, all must seek their own truths about this world. And I have been "diagnosed" as gifted but also as showing sociopathic tendences, which means that although I can socialise I cannot understand true friendship, only social distractions. What novels? Tell me more, I get bored.
I think it's normal to want to be around like minded individuals.
You're quite thoughtful for an 18 year old, maybe more so than your peers?
Perhaps look for things you might have in common rather than the differences.
I don't know if i'm as thoughtful as you think actually...but it's true, I don't seem to be able to make any proper connections with my peers. I have 2 real friends and I consider them close, but I feel as though it still only touches the surface. I guess it's my fault again. This must be why I write songs all the time - i'm not a good talker so I have to express myself in other ways.