I'm kinda in love with this guy i met online. what should i do?

9 Comments

So about 7 months ago I was having one of my breakdowns (It happens pretty often and I go talk to strangers online about it and then I never talk to that person again) and I started talking to this guy and we really connected. And for the first time I kept in touch with someone I spoke. He had a girlfriend at that time and I truly saw him as a brother. In fact, we started kidding about being brother and sister.
But lately, I get these urges to kiss him and just be with him. I mean, I loved him like in the first month but this is different. He really gives a crap about me. No one i know in person knows about me being a complete retard but he just accepts it and actually cares. I don't want to fall in love with him. It scares me. But I don't want to stop talking to him either. And I'd tell him but I honestly don't know if he sees me that way. There are times when he says and does things that make me think he does but I really don't know. And he's the only person I can think of I'd want to talk to if I was in a situation like this. And I can't stop thinking about him. It seems like it's all I do.
All this sounds so stupid.
But I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
Leave to avoid getting hurt?
Tell him?
I don't know.

Leave. 3
Tell him. 26
You're stupid. 10
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Comments ( 9 )
  • Cocomilktitties
    7 years ago

    Be careful that you don't just feel that way about him because you're lonely and just because he will pay attention to you.

    Online relationships usually do not end well. Especially if you can't really meet in person. If you can meet in person, it might be doable, but proceed with caution.

    Relationships over the internet can be addictive and can suck your life away pretty quickly if you're not careful. Sometimes people find happiness from someone they met online and so I'm not totally bashing it... but like I said, proceed with caution if you choose to keep with it.

    I couldn't tell if you know him in real life now from the story you wrote, so if you know him in real life now and see him regularly... that changes my whole response and in that case I would say to probably go for it if he's single.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      We've met twice. He lives across the country but he came here to see me.
      And the thing is, I'm not lonely. There are people who want to spend time with me but I push them away for some reason. He's the only one I feel like talking to sometimes. But I don't want to tell him only to end up hurt and messing up what we have right now.

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      • Cocomilktitties
        7 years ago

        If you really feel strongly about him, I would suggest to not hold the feelings in. If you are going to keep talking to him, it will be hard unless you are honest about your feelings. I think just being totally honest is your best bet here.

        You won't know unless you address it. Again I only suggest this if he's single.

        And like I said above also... proceed with caution! Long distance can be extremely difficult if it's not the right set of circumstances. But I think that if you're going to continue talking to him, it will be hard to hold your feelings in. I think it's best to let him know and see what happens.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          7 years ago

          I'll wait a while before I tell him. Just to make sure this isn't just a phase (I'm certain it isn't, but I don't want to fuck up)
          Thank you so much.

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  • TrustMeImLying
    7 years ago

    He came to see you twice. Shouldn't that be evidence that he likes you, if not potentially serious about you? Tell him. This should be a no-brainer. It will hurt less if he doesn't feel the same way than if you just keep holding it in. The feelings the latter brings about will make you miserable.

    If you want the answer to what you should do, then ask yourself what you want. Do you want more? Exclusivity? Commitment? Because if he's your friend, he won't always be able to be there for you.

    I am pro online relationships but the only problem is all that distance can make you long for someone way more than if they were in-person. Not to mention, if both of you do feel the same the problem doesn't end there, then the immediate step gets fasttracked to whether either of you are emotionally/financially capable of handling a long distance relationship, and are forced to start thinking about moving in together.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      Emotionally won't be a problem considering that he's the only one I feel like talking to. There's nothing to lose.
      And my cousin lives in the same city as him and I keep visiting every other month so that shouldn't be a problem.
      I'll wait a while before I tell him.
      I don't want to mess it up. I seem to be incredibly good at that.
      And thank you.

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  • shuttuppnerddplz
    7 years ago

    If you're not leaving him his gf gets hurt.

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  • mysistersshadow
    7 years ago

    If you've never met in person its just a crush. If you keep talking to him where do you see it going?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      I don't know. Keep talking and not telling him-me ending up worse than I am right now, I guess?
      He helps a lot. Like a lot. But not telling him hurts so much.

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